Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

inspired by the "sigh sigh sigh" thread

<< < (3/3)

pandora:
Hi,

Haven't posted for a while.  My H came home unexpectedly and my life has been a bit of a mess.  

The thought of a relationship, especially a marriage, ending as a "failure" is an issue that I face and am continuing to deal with.  I come from a conservative family background where divorce is generally disapproved of.  Fortunately for me, my family fully supports my decision to divorce.  That makes it easier, but I still am haunted by feelings that I failed somehow, if I had done something different, or been a different person, it could have worked.  

I know intellectually that nothing I did or didn't do could have made a difference in the end.  I really did try with all my heart and strength to hold it together.  There is nothing more I can do now but try to end it with some dignity and fairness for us both.  

I also set high expectations for myself, and I think this also comes from my upbringing.  But in the end, it is not so much about reaching expectations that yourself and others have for you, it is about doing your best, and being able to look at yourself in the mirror and know that you gave it your best shot, while also remaining true to yourself and fair to others.  

And sjkravil, you are right that it is not only your responsibility to hold it together - your H needs to step up to the plate.  And actions always show you someone's true intent, no matter what they might say.  

Hang in there!

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[*] Previous page