NH Walked Out the Door and Look What Came In!!!!

[changing]

Hello!

WHAT A BANNER DAY!I went to the law school today to tie up loose ends- I have been putting out fires, so many pesky emergencies and bureaucratic nightmares, surgery, etc, and I was frightened that perhaps I shouldn't go ahead with law school, what with the expense, and the chaos of divorce looming over it all- I thought this would be a real mess to finalize everything at the last minute. Instead, it was a pleasure- the law school is magnificent, has a gym, lovely place to eat, fountains, the libraries of my dreams. I adore the first year subjects - basics, so interesting and chock full of mystery!The people were nice as well! I think with the hypervigilance connected with NH I never had an opportunity to enjoy myself for so many years- life was a grind, and I was always hurrying to get home to my prison guard, so he wouldn't sabotage our lives, destroy my work products, etc. We never went out unless I was doing chores, laundry, etc- he went himself to play softball, etc. I love meeting and talking to people and taking everything in... I'm so glad I'm back to my physical therapy!I LOVE HAVING TIME TO SAVOR MY JOY!
I love my life now. There is a luncheon this weekend and an orientation dinner and lunch next week, and intensive classes; this is so wonderful! I would have stayed home and repaired the grout in the bath or something instead of going to these events when NH was here (in fact, one of his last gripes was that I wasn't finishing the tile work quickly enough!) I love my silly little old house now , the quiet and the flowers and pets and books- it hardly seems like the same place I shared with NH- how can that be!

Thank you all for being there when I was letting go of NH, and your good advice as well (don't call, go to where he might be, etc.). And the hand holding when I would get despondent, lose my nerve or fall back into self-deception. Chasing a dream of a fantasy family, a fantasy marriage, etc is so unsatisfying- Actually going after a goal and tending to a real family, etc, is so fun and energizing (I may eat my words later during finals!) I LOVE MY NEW LIFE!!! I LOVE MY REAL LIFE!!!

Thank you my dear friends- I am so happy, I would have stumbled and gone backward without your support, as I had done so many times before!!!! I AM LIVING THE DREAM!

Love,

Changing

[teartracks]

Changing,

I can feel your exhuberance!  Yesssss!   

tt

[axa]

Changing

What wonderful wonderful uplifting news.  THERE IS LIFE AFTER N'S it is so good to hear this.  I wish you every joy with your new learning and off on a similiar journey myself and could feel the excitement from your post.

Thank you for this post, worth its weight in gold.

axa

[JanetLG]

Changing,

Reading your post made me go all tingly. You sound so excited, it's infectious! I'm so pleased for you.

Janet

[Hopalong]

Dear Changing,

My ears hurt from having this    stretched between them.

I am SO GLAD FOR YOU!
And you did it. We just reflected your determination.

love,
Hops

[Ami]

Dear Changing,
  When I read this, I thought of the quality of "resilience". You are embodying that quality, for me. You are' real" and taking what God has given you.
   You are being 'you" . You are the "you' that God made-- not the you that sad circumstances made. You have shown me,in action, what "rise above' means.
 I am so glad to have know you. I think that you have the word"dignity" that we were trying to define in another thread.
  You are not the "beaten" down child of an N,or spouse of an N. You are manifesting your 'essence"
 There are going to be wonderful ways that God is going to use you. You will help pull up other people who will look at you and say,"I can do it, too"
   Please keep writing. I will have you in my prayers. Thank you so ,so much for putting me in your and your group's prayers. I really love that . Looking forward to hearing about school- every step of the way   
                                                                              Love and a Hug     Ami

[Certain Hope]

Dear Changing,

Thank you for another hearty dose of awesome encouragement!

Your example brings me to pray for a more defined sense of purpose, deep and strong, and the courage to step out into life, by faith...
and by the grace of God.

Big hugs and continued prayers for you!

With love,
Hope

[lighter]

Wow!  Changing, lol!

What a wonderful post..... really really what it's all about.

You feared.... yet  reached out.

You despaired..... yet took a chance.

You're footsteps are the best 'how to' model ,

for those that come after,

and those who've yet to take a step.

((((Changing))))

One good feeling leads to another.....