Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
BonesMS:
I just don't understand people like NDoofus.
Bones
Ami:
Dear Bones,
I will give you my opinion on N Doofus(my mother????). They are not connected to their emotions. They do not have "normal" selfishness.
Their problem is that they are NOT selfish enough. Therefore, they are pathologically selfish. They are not nornally intuitive, so they are "off"
They cannot "feel" their own emotions, so they are "off" with other people.
As I heal, I understand more and more where my M was coming from. I just wish that I could heal faster---bleh.
Hope you feel better Bones. N doofus can't help it(IMO), but you may not want her for a bosom buddy(lol). No more trips, Bonsie!
Love Ami
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: Ami on December 24, 2007, 08:30:28 AM ---Dear Bones,
I will give you my opinion on N Doofus(my mother????). They are not connected to their emotions. They do not have "normal" selfishness.
Their problem is that they are NOT selfish enough. Therefore, they are pathologically selfish. They are not nornally intuitive, so they are "off"
They cannot "feel" their own emotions, so they are "off" with other people.
As I heal, I understand more and more where my M was coming from. I just wish that I could heal faster---bleh.
Hope you feel better Bones. N doofus can't help it(IMO), but you may not want her for a bosom buddy(lol). No more trips, Bonsie!
Love Ami
--- End quote ---
Thanks, Ami.
I don't plan to taking any more trips with her.
It just ticked me off when she called me yesterday, announcing that she was "dropping in" instead of asking whether or not this was a good time to visit and completely discounted my bronchitis while claiming she had laryngitis, which she clearly did NOT have! Grrrrrrr!!!!!
Bones
BonesMS:
Plus bringing unwrapped "presents" in a grocery bag. I halfway expected her to do the same thing several years ago where she handed me two boxes of detergent, with the price stickers on them, chirping "Merry Christmas" after she completely SCREWED UP MY SCHEDULE as I was preparing for oral surgery the next day. (She had called me at 9:00 AM that morning and asked me not to go anywhere as she was on her way over to bring me Christmas presents. She did NOT show up until 9:00 PM THAT NIGHT!) When I yelled at her about messing up what I needed to get done to prepare for my surgery, all I got (as usual) was the glassy-eyed blank stare. (It made me even angrier knowing that I had been EXPLAINING THE OBVIOUS about the upcoming surgery, for several days, and what I needed to get done to prepare for it and she completely discounted it and ignored it for her own convenience!)
Bones
Ami:
--- Quote from: BonesMS on December 25, 2007, 08:09:28 AM ---Plus bringing unwrapped "presents" in a grocery bag. I halfway expected her to do the same thing several years ago where she handed me two boxes of detergent, with the price stickers on them, chirping "Merry Christmas" after she completely SCREWED UP MY SCHEDULE as I was preparing for oral surgery the next day. (She had called me at 9:00 AM that morning and asked me not to go anywhere as she was on her way over to bring me Christmas presents. She did NOT show up until 9:00 PM THAT NIGHT!) When I yelled at her about messing up what I needed to get done to prepare for my surgery, all I got (as usual) was the glassy-eyed blank stare. (It made me even angrier knowing that I had been EXPLAINING THE OBVIOUS about the upcoming surgery, for several days, and what I needed to get done to prepare for it and she completely discounted it and ignored it for her own convenience!)
Bones
--- End quote ---
Dear Bones,
N Doofus IS my M. My M has left people waiting at the subway station for hours and then doesn't understand what is wrong with THEM, when they don't "like" her anymore.
She says heartless comments to people and blames THEM when they get angry. She says that "they" just can't take honesty.
N's and presents is a whole other story. I have had so many presents that my M gave me and then 'took back". The N's gift giving "sensitivity" is the stuff that jokes are made of. We had a thead about it once.It would be fun to start a new one.
I think that the glassy eyed look is from their lack of connection to their emotions---pure and simple. They are not "there---all the way.
I can feel that "glassy eyed" look in myself--bleh. I hate it,but I do feel it. I feel it around woman( and in "threatening" or painful situations). It is getting a little better. I think that it is a dissociation. It is a 'leaving" of the present b/c we can't cope.
I am facing it in myself and I "feel" like my M,often. I hate it,but it is true ,so I must face it.
Your friend(?) acts weird b/c she is NOT in the present(IMO). She can't help it,I don't think. She is running on her own private gerbil wheel,inside her head. That is how I see it,Bones, as I struggle to heal. Hope that you are feeling better, friend. Love Ami
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