Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?

[BonesMS]

Oh boy!!!!  Do I RELATE to THIS!!!!!

http://www.asperger-advice.com/work-related-issues.html

As a result, I have often been told:  "You're a poor fit!  Get out!"

[sKePTiKal]

LOL... thanks Bones!

Those links help alot and feed my curiosity for more info...
but I think everyone would have some degree of issue with most of the items on the work list! At least, at one time or another.

I'll do some reading and learning for a bit.

[BonesMS]

LOL... thanks Bones!

Those links help alot and feed my curiosity for more info...
but I think everyone would have some degree of issue with most of the items on the work list! At least, at one time or another.

I'll do some reading and learning for a bit.

Okay.

I'll also look around for the Aspie Test that I found online before.

[Hopalong]

Bones, I really admire how much you've learned about yourself and about Asperger's.

Thank you for helping educate us...I thought the list made sense and I could imagine a sort of constellation of frustrations and challenges.

That might explain why you sometimes sound very all-caps aggravated about people not following rules, you think?

hugs
Hops

[BonesMS]

Bones, I really admire how much you've learned about yourself and about Asperger's.

Thank you for helping educate us...I thought the list made sense and I could imagine a sort of constellation of frustrations and challenges.

That might explain why you sometimes sound very all-caps aggravated about people not following rules, you think?

hugs
Hops

Thanks, Hops, and you're right.  That would explain my aggravation about why people don't follow rules along with other sensory-overload issues that I've had since birth.

[BonesMS]

Here's a quiz about Asperger's:

http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/autism.htm

[BonesMS]

Just got the Aspergirls book from the library and started reading.  I am identifying with EVERYTHING!!!!  Taught myself to read before I started school (Check! Cat in the Hat to be exact!)  Learning disabilities in school (Check!)  Being engaged in a passion that I lose all sense of anyone else being around.  (Check!)  Having my own method of ingesting and comprehending, which drove my grade-school teachers CRAZY!  (Check!)  Remembering the meltdowns I used to have in grade school.  (Check!)  My methods of stimming to self-soothe.  (Check!)  And I'm still in the first chapter!

BTW, on the way back from the library, I spotted a Robin!!!!!!  SPRING IS COMING!!!!!!

[BonesMS]

Just got a bit of a strange phone call a little while ago.

It started out with my homeless cousin on the phone asking me if I was still working on family history.  I said "Yes", and then she put this complete stranger on the phone who started rambling away and giggling.  (Knowing my cousin is still an actively practicing alcoholic, I'm not too surprised that she hangs out with other like-minded people.)  The giggler wants to hire me to research his family history so I simply gave him my business e-mail address and told him to e-mail me the particulars and I'll see what I can do, then I hung up.  (Doesn't mean I'll accept him as a client, especially if he's intoxicated.     I do have that freedom.)

[Guest]

Isn't email useful Bones? We are free to ignore people as much as we like!

I tried the Asperger's quiz too - I thought the questions were a bit 'obvious' but also some could yield ambiguous results (e.g. remembering people's birthdays - I said yes, I find it easy, but then I only 'have' to remember four, so it depends, doesn't it? Ditto for phone numbers - hey I remember my own, therefore I find it easy??!). Interesting though.

[BonesMS]

Isn't email useful Bones? We are free to ignore people as much as we like!

I tried the Asperger's quiz too - I thought the questions were a bit 'obvious' but also some could yield ambiguous results (e.g. remembering people's birthdays - I said yes, I find it easy, but then I only 'have' to remember four, so it depends, doesn't it? Ditto for phone numbers - hey I remember my own, therefore I find it easy??!). Interesting though.

Thanks, Freshwater!

And a business e-mail address is ESPECIALLY handy to screen out people I prefer NOT to deal with!

I'm already up to chapter 4 in the Aspergirls book and more memories are popping up.  I remember, when I was little, that I HATED going to the shoe store....the lights, the smells, the sensory overload from anyone handling my feet, the way new shoes made my feet hurt because they were so stiff.  I also remember, at one point, seeing an old home movie of when I was a child and being filmed while I was rocking and bouncing because I was too excited about something.  (I was the only kid doing that.  None of the other kids in the scene were stimming.)  It took me several years after seeing that scene when I finally realized that I was stimming to self-soothe because I was overexcited and overwhelmed.  Even today, if I get caught off-guard with a sensory overload, my first impulse is to RUN!  To give an example, when I was visiting the home of an acquaintance, they wanted to introduce me to their tween-age son, who happened to be in his room.  The first second I stepped into his room to be introduced, I BOLTED OUT OF THERE!  Why?  He had a big screen TV blaring, a stereo blaring, a flashy video game being played, and the combination of the loud sounds and flashing lights were more than I could tolerate!  I got a LOT of funny looks when I clapped my hands over my ears and ran outta there!  The noise and lights didn't bother them but it was OVERLOAD for me.

Does that make sense?  (Possibly to another Aspie rather than an NT.)

[Guest]

All that you have said makes sense Bones, I have a window into what it is like, a small sense of similarity in myself. I guess even within NTs there are variations of, er, sensitivities? If that indeed makes sense. Just because I can tolerate something and smile doesn't mean that I like it!

[BonesMS]

All that you have said makes sense Bones, I have a window into what it is like, a small sense of similarity in myself. I guess even within NTs there are variations of, er, sensitivities? If that indeed makes sense. Just because I can tolerate something and smile doesn't mean that I like it!

Thanks, Freshwater.

I've been reading the chapter about Selective Mutism and after I've seen descriptions "from the inside out", e.g. thinking in pictures but unable to translate those pictures into words.......I reacted with.......CHECK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm also remembering a little about the descriptions of my Dad and looking at the pictures of him has made me wonder if he was an Aspie too?  (I often heard descriptions of how he left school because he was so bored.  The way his school day had been structured was he would have Study Hall as the last period and he would have all his homework finished before going home.  When he asked for additional school work, he was refused.  The school system simply did NOT know what to do with him because he "didn't fit the mold".....and this was DECADES before Hans Asperger identified the Syndrome.)

[BonesMS]

Spotted this in Dear Abby on Thursday, January 11, 2012:

"DEAR ABBY: I'm a 37-year-old wife and mother of three. My mother visits us when she's in town during work-related trips, so it's not like she's around all day, thank heavens. But when she's here she constantly corrects my children (ages 8, 14 and 18) and instructs my husband and me how we should spend our money. She also doesn't like it when I swear (which I usually don't do unless she's around) or mention what I think of people she has sent my way who have burned me.

By the time she leaves -- usually four days -- I am so stressed and emotional that I cry at the drop of a hat. I cannot, nor do I want to, continue to have her here when she doesn't respect my rules. I respect her rules when I visit her home.

Obviously, there is much more, but I'm stressed to the max and nearly at the point of being done. Abby, can you give me any pointers to deal with this? -- VISIT OR NOT?

DEAR VISIT OR NOT?: After you have calmed down, and before your mother's next "raid," write her a letter. Explain that while you love her, her visits are taking a significant emotional toll on you. Say she is welcome as long as she refrains from correcting your children because that's your job. Say also that she must stop telling you what to do with your money and correcting your language because you're an adult now. Remind her not to send any more people your way, and why. If she can accept those terms, she'll be welcomed with open arms. Some people need ground rules spelled out for them, and your mother appears to be one of them."

I don't think "Dear Abby" GETS IT!  My sense is that the letter writer is dealing with an N who WILL NEVER HEAR HER!

[BonesMS]

Still reading the library book and still identifying with everything!

[BonesMS]

This Narcissist WENT TOO FAR!!!!!

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-20019377-10391704.html

And I just read the news that the child died last night at the age of nine from Huntington's.
NMonsters are just UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!