Author Topic: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?  (Read 1304904 times)

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #330 on: February 04, 2008, 01:51:30 PM »
Hi Bones,
I just read your account of your mother's monstrous behavior, and her beatings.

Quote
I think she enjoyed it.

I think she did too.

 :(

I am so sorry.
I'm glad you're sharing those horrible memories and I hope you'll wind up empty of her.

You did not deserve such cruelty. EVER. In any way.

love
Hops

Thanks, Hops.

I can't even call her a mother because she NEVER was a mother!

Bones
Back Off Bug-A-Loo!

Certain Hope

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #331 on: February 07, 2008, 08:51:00 AM »
(((((((((Bones))))))))) I was just thinkin of you and wanted to let you know...  hoping that you're feeling well & enjoying your days. How's it going?

Love,
Carolyn

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #332 on: February 08, 2008, 01:59:29 PM »
(((((((((Bones))))))))) I was just thinkin of you and wanted to let you know...  hoping that you're feeling well & enjoying your days. How's it going?

Love,
Carolyn


Thanks, Carolyn!

I'm taking things one day at a time.

NDoofus is still sending me e-mails.  My only response to her is that "I'm busy!"

Bones
Back Off Bug-A-Loo!

Certain Hope

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #333 on: February 08, 2008, 05:47:13 PM »
Bones, it's good to read you! Thanks for posting/checking in  :P  8) 

Same here, one day at a time and N-free.

Take good care of  yourself, please.

Love,
Carolyn

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #334 on: February 10, 2008, 11:52:53 AM »
Bones, it's good to read you! Thanks for posting/checking in  :P  8) 

Same here, one day at a time and N-free.

Take good care of  yourself, please.

Love,
Carolyn

I'm trying to.  My energy level is very low right now.

Bones
Back Off Bug-A-Loo!

Certain Hope

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #335 on: February 10, 2008, 12:00:02 PM »

I'm trying to.  My energy level is very low right now.

Bones

(((((((Bones))))))))  I wish that you could surround yourself with supportive people who would just love on you and not expect anything in return.

Sounds like maybe you need a break in the routine? You're probably working far too hard.

Wish I could help.

Love,
Carolyn

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #336 on: February 11, 2008, 01:18:38 PM »

I'm trying to.  My energy level is very low right now.

Bones

(((((((Bones))))))))  I wish that you could surround yourself with supportive people who would just love on you and not expect anything in return.

Sounds like maybe you need a break in the routine? You're probably working far too hard.

Wish I could help.

Love,
Carolyn

Thanks, Carolyn.

Unfortunately, with bills coming in, I have to work.

Bones
Back Off Bug-A-Loo!

Certain Hope

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #337 on: February 11, 2008, 04:44:47 PM »
(((((((Bones)))))))  I know... I'm sorry, just concerned about you because you've been so quiet lately.

Seems to me that Springtime being just around the corner is a very good thing. Okay, well maybe it's a slightly bigger corner where you are... but it's a'comin!

Love,
Carolyn

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #338 on: February 13, 2008, 08:17:56 AM »
(((((((Bones)))))))  I know... I'm sorry, just concerned about you because you've been so quiet lately.

Seems to me that Springtime being just around the corner is a very good thing. Okay, well maybe it's a slightly bigger corner where you are... but it's a'comin!

Love,
Carolyn

Thanks, Carolyn.

We had a NASTY ice storm in our area and walking is HAZARDOUS!!!!

Bones
Back Off Bug-A-Loo!

Certain Hope

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #339 on: February 13, 2008, 08:51:57 AM »

Thanks, Carolyn.

We had a NASTY ice storm in our area and walking is HAZARDOUS!!!!

Bones


ooo Yuck, Bones... we've had several rounds of that here, too. 'Tis the season! That in-between time when winter gives its last great gasp.
Had 80 degrees one day, then 8 inches of snow two days later, then ice, and now just plain brrrr cold... but this, too, shall pass!

Hope you have and wear some good non-skid boots.... or better yet, stay in till everything's salted or dried.
Take good care.

Love to you,
Carolyn

P.S. Feels like today oughtta be Friday!

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #340 on: February 14, 2008, 12:31:55 PM »

Thanks, Carolyn.

We had a NASTY ice storm in our area and walking is HAZARDOUS!!!!

Bones


ooo Yuck, Bones... we've had several rounds of that here, too. 'Tis the season! That in-between time when winter gives its last great gasp.
Had 80 degrees one day, then 8 inches of snow two days later, then ice, and now just plain brrrr cold... but this, too, shall pass!

Hope you have and wear some good non-skid boots.... or better yet, stay in till everything's salted or dried.
Take good care.

Love to you,
Carolyn

P.S. Feels like today oughtta be Friday!


I agree!  I couldn't stay home as I was needed at the Hypothermia shelter.

Bones
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Certain Hope

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #341 on: February 14, 2008, 06:39:36 PM »
Dear Bones,

Please forgive me if you've already mentioned this in the past and I missed it or have forgotten, but...

is your work at the hypothermia shelter a paid position or volunteer work? (I hope that's not too nosy of me to ask  :oops:)

Confessing right now that I'd like to pare your busy schedule down to size so that you can get some much needed rest and relaxation... ((((((Bones))))))

Love,
Carolyn

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #342 on: February 15, 2008, 11:55:22 AM »
Dear Bones,

Please forgive me if you've already mentioned this in the past and I missed it or have forgotten, but...

is your work at the hypothermia shelter a paid position or volunteer work? (I hope that's not too nosy of me to ask  :oops:)

Confessing right now that I'd like to pare your busy schedule down to size so that you can get some much needed rest and relaxation... ((((((Bones))))))

Love,
Carolyn

Thanks, Carolyn.

My work at the hypothermia shelter is part of my paying job.  I'm doing both hotline counseling as well as assisting the homeless in the hypothermia shelter.

Bones
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #343 on: February 15, 2008, 12:18:05 PM »
I've also encountered a couple of N's during this past week at work.  One N took exception to the rules we have in place for the clients.  (We have these rules in place for everyone's safety.)  She attempted to override our decisions, in front of the clients, and attempted to force me to do what SHE wanted.  Rather than get into a full-blown shout-down, I called my boss and he got her to back off from me.  Then on the last night that I worked at this particular facility, (we move to a new facilty next week), I found myself dealing with TWO N's trying to force what they wanted down my throat!  One N turned up with an expensive camera, with "bells and whistles" on it and announced to me that SHE was going to TAKE PICTURES OF OUR CLIENTS!  I told her "N-O! That is a violation of client confidentiality!"  She insisted on arguing and debating the issue.  I called my boss and my boss backed me up.  He also instructed me to tell this N that unless she has Release Forms for the clients to sign, pictures of the clients are NOT ALLOWED!  I relayed this information after I hung up from my boss.  She DEMANDED that I call my boss back and tell him that she will give the pictures to the clients, therefore that should permit her to take the pictures!  Again, I told her "N-O!"  (What part of the word "NO" does she NOT understand?!?)  However, while the clients lined up to get dinner, I saw her camera flash.  (I think she ignored our rules and took the pictures anyway!   :x)

Then, the other N that I had a confrontation with earlier in the week, announced that all of our clients MUST attend their church services!  I told her:  "If the client wants to accept an invitation, that is the client's perogative.  If the client does NOT want to attend church services, that is also the client's choice.  No one should be FORCED to attend church services."  She attempted to argue with me on that point and I, again, repeated the word "NO!"  She walked away from me, to where the clients were already in bed sleeping, and started waking them up demanding that they get up and go to her church because "EVERYONE MUST GO!"  My colleague sent a text message to the boss informing him about what this N was doing to the clients regarding the church services.  The boss responded that this N is NOT allowed to badger our clients like this and that NO client should be FORCED to attend any church services anywhere!  The boss plans to contact this N about what she did which violated the clients' rights.

I'm hoping that we NEVER go back to that building again!

Bones
« Last Edit: February 15, 2008, 12:30:27 PM by BonesMS »
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #344 on: February 16, 2008, 12:51:36 PM »
Last night was a REAL challenge for me!  I was subbing for someone else at a different facility when an individual showed up, drunk and disorderly.  He was determined to start a fight.  I stood between him and his intended targets and told him that he needed to leave.  He responded by trying to put his arms around me and I stood out of his reach, telling him that he is not allowed to do that.  He became more belligerent and I called the police.  When the police arrived, he was given the option of leaving voluntarily or leaving involuntarily...either way he had to leave.  In the end, the police escorted him out the door.

Then, another client attempted to challenge me in front of everyone about what had just occurred with the drunk and disorderly.  (Apparently, he was looking forward to the fight.)  By this point, I was in no mood for nonsense and I told the "challenger":  "You want to be next?  Keep it up!  I'll be more than happy to have the police escort return for you!"  He got this "deer in the headlights" look, went straight to his bunk and shut up.  I notified my bosses about what had happened and they backed me up.

Bones
Back Off Bug-A-Loo!