Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
Certain Hope:
((((((Ami))))) You know that passage doesnt refer to judgment, right? I mean... in prophesying the new covenant, Jeremiah chapter 31 sheds a fresh light, I believe, on what you've mentioned here. Because of that new covenant in Christ, I am certain that Scott didn't die because of anyone else's sins or as a consequence of any judgment of God on your family. But I do know the effects of generational consequences within families, including my own. Thank God He gives us His Holy Spirit and makes us new creations in Christ Jesus, breaking the cords of all our old webs. Without Him, I know that my core is infected with the same virus as my mother, or yours, or anyone else...that virus of sin. These are the things I've been talking about with my older 2 daughters recently... because I want to make sure they know about the new covenant, and not just the dead religion I knew while they were still here in our home. Hope that makes sense.
Love,
Carolyn
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: Certain Hope on February 23, 2008, 11:39:19 AM ---
--- Quote from: BonesMS on February 23, 2008, 11:01:27 AM ---
Thanks, Carolyn.
I get angry when she creates situations that are damaging to everyone around her.
Bones
--- End quote ---
Yeah, I hear you, Bones... me, too, at times... and I know there is a version of anger which is righteous.
Where that righteous anger crosses the line in me, is when I get to feeling:
a) Self-righteous about it (like I'm better than the annoying one)
or
b) Controlling (like it's my job to work out other peoples' issues with the annoying one).
Gets me dizzy at times, but detachment helps to step back from both of the above and just work out my own issues.
Hope you have a good weekend after work!
Love,
Carolyn
--- End quote ---
Thanks, Carolyn.
What makes me angry is when I see her do stuff that puts her mother at risk, given her disabilities (i.e. Alzheimer's, losing her balance, etc.) as well as her attempts to rip apart my regalia, at my graduation, which amounted to a physical assault.
Bones
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: Ami on February 23, 2008, 12:21:11 PM ---Dear Carolyn and Bones,
SinceI lost Scott ,I have gotten more of an empathy for people's issues. I tried so hard to be a good mother and to provide a "good "
life for my kids.Scott did the worst thing a kid could ever do. So, where did my 'smarts" get me?
I see my H with the same non=judging eyes(mostly). He tried to do what he was programmed to do and he "lost"--big time.
My M was (and is) underwater.
I am almost to the top---almost--not quite.
The Bible says the sins of the fathers are visited on the sons down to the third generation(paraphrase).
We, all ,get caught in the FOO web and things get beyond our control and start spinning in ways we would never imagine(IME)
Love Ami
--- End quote ---
(((((((((((((((((((((Ami)))))))))))))))))))))))
Bones
BonesMS:
I wanted to post this thought or two on the Board to see what other people think about this.
Recently, my bf and I were watching the DVDs of Season 2, DS9...the episode titled: "Crossover". At the time I first saw this episode about ten or so years ago, I didn't know about Narcissistic Personality Disorder. As I was re-watching it, I realized that the "Intendant" was as Narcissistic as one could get when she met her "Mirror" counterpart...especially when she told her, in one scene: "I don't want your fear, I want your love"! :shock:
Bones
Certain Hope:
Hi Bones,
Sorry, this is over my head, I think... but one thing - when my ex was not trying to absorb me or become me, he often did give me the impression that having me fear him was just exactly what he wanted... so, I guess I don't get it?
Love,
Carolyn
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