Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
Certain Hope:
--- Quote from: BonesMS on May 07, 2008, 08:30:43 AM ---
Hopefully, one day, they will get the message that their targets are not going to respond to them no matter what they do.
Bones
--- End quote ---
Well... I dunno about that, Bones. They seem to have a loose circuit when it comes to matters of common sense.
I've decided to apply the "block sender" tool and give my eyes (and deleting finger) a break! :D
Love,
Carolyn
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: Certain Hope on May 07, 2008, 08:25:15 PM ---
--- Quote from: BonesMS on May 07, 2008, 08:30:43 AM ---
Hopefully, one day, they will get the message that their targets are not going to respond to them no matter what they do.
Bones
--- End quote ---
Well... I dunno about that, Bones. They seem to have a loose circuit when it comes to matters of common sense.
I've decided to apply the "block sender" tool and give my eyes (and deleting finger) a break! :D
Love,
Carolyn
--- End quote ---
Thanks, Carolyn!
I've been taking it easy this morning as I had a busy day yesterday participating in a disaster drill playing a victim, gory theatrical make-up and all! Quite an experience!!!!!! It was exhausting and I learned a LOT! If you get offered the opportunity of participating in a disaster drill, grab it!!!!! There is SO much to learn and do!!!!!!
So far, so good on my end regarding NDoofus.
The other day, I was thinking and it suddenly occurred to me what NDoofus was REALLY doing regarding her mother, who has Alzheimer's. She is actually USING her mother to make herself look good to others, (i.e. bragging about what a good daughter she is to help her poor sick mother). What made me think this is connected to an incident that took place last September. When I went to participate in a yard sale, trying to get rid of stuff I no longer need, NDoofus was there. She was telling me that her mother had developed pressure sores where the edge of the Depend pads contacted her skin. To prevent these pressure sores from developing into potentially deadly infections, the Depend pads were discontinued. However, NDoofus was NOT using any other form of protection against her mother's incontinence (i.e. pull-ups). In her mind, the pull-ups are adult diapers and she HATES the thought of ever using them on her mother. While she was at the yardsale, her husband kept Mom at home with him even though that meant he had to delay his errands while he was elder-sitting. NDoofus was NOT happy that Mom was NOT with her!
When NDoofus learned that I was planning on seeing other friends at a local restaurant, she announced she was going to join me and bring mother, (KNOWING she is wearing NO incontinence protection). When her husband arrived, with Mom, NDoofus announced her plans to him. He tried to be discreet, (God Bless Him), and told NDoofus that Mom will stay home with him and she can have a break from caretaking. He told her to go ahead and enjoy some fun time with her friends. I saw that inevitable glassy-eyed blank stare on her face as she kept trying to INSIST that mother would go with HER to the restaurant! I was reading between the lines as I was watching this exchange between them. (My translation was: "Husband - Mom needs to stay home with me because she is incontinent, can't wear the pads, you refuse to use the pull-ups, and I don't want to risk Mom having an accident in the middle of the restaurant where others are eating." "NDoofus - I ASSUME NOTHING is going to happen because my ASSUMPTIONS are ALWAYS magically TRUE! Besides, what would people thinik of ME if I'm not bringing Mom with ME to show off?!?") The conversation ended with NDoofus putting Mom in her car and telling her husband she was dropping the leftover stuff at a charity donation and she would come straight back home. He told her he would delay the errands he needed to do until NDoofus brought Mom back home. Then NDoofus would wait, at home, with Mom, until he returned then he would take over with elder-sitting when NDoofus went to the restaurant that evening. As usual, she pulled her passive-aggressive nonsense, came back home several HOURS late and completely torpedoed what her husband needed to do because the places he needed to go to closed at 5:00 PM. Needless to say, he was furious and I don't blame him. (She's done this late-stuff to others all the time with no sign of stopping.) She called me up to complain about his anger and attempted to paint him as the "totally bad guy" while she was the "pure little innocent". She complained that "he's being touchy and difficult!" By this time, I was NOT interested in her manipulations because the blinders had fallen off of my eyes after the Minnesota mess. I simply responded: "Bye", hung up, left the house and enjoyed the evening with my friends.
It makes me angry knowing that she is USING a helpless human being to promote her own Narcissistic agenda. Grrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!
Bones
BonesMS:
I also look back at what she did on December 23, 2007 when she attempted to DEMAND that I come upstairs and stand in a cold, damp, drafty doorway for HER convenience while ignoring the fact that I was sick with bronchitis and laryngitis. Once again, she had violated everyone's boundaries, (meaning my neighbors), by dropping in, uninvited, and parking illegally AGAIN. She had been told, numerous times, where the visitor parking is located and she STILL continued to either park in other residents' reserved spaces, (that my neighbors paid for), or park in a fire lane. Her excuse? The visitor parking is INCOVENIENT to HER! I had told her that I don't want my neighbors yelling at me because she refuses to respect the boundaries of the condominium owners.
Bones
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: BonesMS on March 16, 2008, 04:12:50 PM ---I was recently contacted by one of my maternal cousins, after not hearing from him for several years. (He was very close to my Nmother and basically worshipped the ground she walked on. EWWWWW!!!!!) Talking to him was like talking to another N :P! It seemed like he LOVED to hear himself talk and convinced that he knew everything about everything. He had also been raised to believe that I was mentally retarded. When he asked me what I had been up to and I told him that I just recently got my Masters degree, it sounded like he nearly dropped the phone!
After stuttering and stammering for several seconds, then he asks me: "Why did you bother to do THAT?!?!?" (I almost responded with: "What the F?!?!?") Instead, I asked back: "WHY NOT?!?!?!?" (This induhvidual is pushing 60 and still calls his middle-aged sister "The Troll"! What's up with THAT?!?!?!?)
URRGGHHHH!!!! :x
Bones
--- End quote ---
I also realize now that dealing with him is like dealing with my Nmother and Nbrother combined!!!!! EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! :P
Bones
BonesMS:
And I realize that she does the same stuff to her family members as well....i.e. dropping in, unannounced, when its convenient for HER.
Bones
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version