Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
Certain Hope:
She's a mystery to me, Bones... sure sounds disconnected and in her own little world.
Seems like she's in an ongoing state of daydreaming... creating her own reality. Denial, obtuse-ness (if that's a word), manipulation of people and events... like a little girl with a dollhouse, moving around figures and furnitures to suit her design.
Do you think these ideas she has, like the one she wanted to share with you yesterday, and the one she wrongly acted on in her job...
would these qualify as grandiose fantasies?
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: Certain Hope on August 26, 2007, 09:41:15 AM ---She's a mystery to me, Bones... sure sounds disconnected and in her own little world.
Seems like she's in an ongoing state of daydreaming... creating her own reality. Denial, obtuse-ness (if that's a word), manipulation of people and events... like a little girl with a dollhouse, moving around figures and furnitures to suit her design.
Do you think these ideas she has, like the one she wanted to share with you yesterday, and the one she wrongly acted on in her job...
would these qualify as grandiose fantasies?
--- End quote ---
My gut instinct is saying "YES"!
Bones
Certain Hope:
Gee, Bones, makes me wonder what in the world her relationship with her husband has been like... where does he fit into her picture?
By the way, how's her mom doing?
Love,
Hope
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: Certain Hope on August 26, 2007, 09:50:39 AM ---Gee, Bones, makes me wonder what in the world her relationship with her husband has been like... where does he fit into her picture?
By the way, how's her mom doing?
Love,
Hope
--- End quote ---
From my observations, she imposes on him ALOT!!! When I was planning my graduation trip for months and she decided to pay my airfare as a graduation gift, she "volunteered" her husband to drive us to the airport WITHOUT discussing it with him!!!! When the reservations were made in June for the August flight, I told her to PLEASE discuss the flight details with him WELL AHEAD OF TIME to avoid jamming him up with his work and his obligations to his ailing mother. She had TWO MONTHS TO DO THIS! What did she do? She waited until 24 HOURS BEFORE WE WERE SCHEDULED TO FLY TO TELL HIM because she "assumed it would be OK" ! Then she had the nerve to complain to me that he was "being difficult"!!!! I wanted to slap her so bad!!!! He was gracious to me because I think he realized that I couldn't be part of the conversation between him and his wife. (BTW, her Mom will be 90 this week. Unfortunately, her Alzheimer's is still progressing.)
Bones
Certain Hope:
Ahh.. Bones! So in all of this assuming, we have more than just obliviousness to other people as individuals, we have a grand sense of entitlement! Sorry, I'm slow in connecting dots, but eventually I get it (sometimes :?)... guess I tend to think of these people who seem so "out of it" as being dissociated, as opposed to N.
So basically, everyone - including her own husband - is just a tool to be used in the advancement of her own plans and schemes.
My mother has planned European trips and not told my dad for many, many months, until well beyond the point when the money deposit became non-refundable. She manages their finances and assumes that because her aptitude for this aspect of their marriage exceeds his, then correspondingly, so does her entitlement to make decisions. Basically, anyone involved with such a person is simply along for the ride.
That is so sad.
Love,
Hope
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