Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?

[Certain Hope]

Bones,

I'm sorry! Thought I'd replied to your previous post ... I'm sure I typed it! ...about those wacky-bossy-pushy women trying to photograph your clients and force them to attend a particular service... sheesh. Don't they think these people have human rights? Sounds like they treat them as animals!

And the ones spoiling for a fight last night. Bones, do you have access to any form of physical protection there - I dunno, like pepper spray? Stun gun? lol  ((((((Bones))))))) sounds a bit scary to me.  You must have a great tone of voice to back these characters down when they get loaded for bear... I just hate to think of you being in danger there. Must be difficult to sub at a different place, where nobody knows you...

One positive jumps out at me all the way around... your bosses are backing you up every step of the way, sounds like. Yay!

Stay safe, Bones. Hope you don't have to return to that other building again.

Love,
Carolyn

[Hopalong]

You brave Bones, you!
(Did you see that amazing Bonesey Valentine? I forget who posted it but it was probably Izzyy...in your honor, I'll bet!)

Be safe at work and happy at home...

love
Hops

[BonesMS]

Bones,

I'm sorry! Thought I'd replied to your previous post ... I'm sure I typed it! ...about those wacky-bossy-pushy women trying to photograph your clients and force them to attend a particular service... sheesh. Don't they think these people have human rights? Sounds like they treat them as animals!

And the ones spoiling for a fight last night. Bones, do you have access to any form of physical protection there - I dunno, like pepper spray? Stun gun? lol  ((((((Bones))))))) sounds a bit scary to me.  You must have a great tone of voice to back these characters down when they get loaded for bear... I just hate to think of you being in danger there. Must be difficult to sub at a different place, where nobody knows you...

One positive jumps out at me all the way around... your bosses are backing you up every step of the way, sounds like. Yay!

Stay safe, Bones. Hope you don't have to return to that other building again.

Love,
Carolyn

Thanks, Carolyn!

Most of the clients, at the second facility where I subbed, have met me before.  I've taken self-defense classes in the past so if "push came to shove" I can defend myself.  There were volunteers there at the second facility too.  However, judging by the way they all huddled in the kitchen, like sheep, told me that they were too scared to think straight.  I was having trouble with my cell phone while calling the police and asked where their church phone was.  Their response:  Silence while looking like scared deer.  God help them if things had gotten really bad.

As for the first facility, I got the impression that the group of volunteers there are a bunch of N's who's attitudes were:  "Me First!"  It made me angry that they attempted to treat the clients as if they were animals in a zoo!  Give me a break!!!  There will be a year-end meeting, when the program wraps up for the season, where issues like this will be discussed.

Bones

[BonesMS]

You brave Bones, you!
(Did you see that amazing Bonesey Valentine? I forget who posted it but it was probably Izzyy...in your honor, I'll bet!)

Be safe at work and happy at home...

love
Hops

Thanks, Hops!

I didn't see the Valentine.  Do you know where it is located?

Thanks, again!

Bones

[Certain Hope]

Oh, I see, Bones. And I'm very glad to know you've taken some self-defense classes! 

I hope the year-end meeting is not the end of the calendar year, because those pushy volunteers could do alot of damage between now and then.

The Valentine which Hops mentioned is on the "Anything" thread, reply # 1149, Bones:   

http://www.voicelessness.com/disc3//index.php?topic=1179.0

It is cute  .. Izzy posted it.

Well, I hope you're off work today and able to relax. I think we're on our final phase of the flu in our household, now that everyone's had it... so this should be a far more pleasant day! Been a long haul X 4 of us.

Love to you and hugs,

Carolyn

[Anonymous]

Hi,
I was searching for someone in Google, and I just happened on this website and on your August 2007 email.  My question to you is: Why are you (or were you) friends with a person like this?  She sounds like she has some serious problems.  I hope you ended your friendship with this troubled person and have found more stable friends.  One stable friend is worth 10 unstable ones.  I know, as I was married to a mentally ill and alcoholic person in my younger years, and was friends with a few other troubled people.  I now stay far away from people with serious problems, and my life is much better for it. 
Anon.

[Certain Hope]

Welcome to you, Anonymous...

I'm not sure how much you've read here on the board, but just wanted to say that Narcissistically Personality Disordered individuals are a unique collection of disordered folks... they have a peculiar way of hooking you into their clutches and it's often not so easy to get away, especially when you've been raised by parents with like tendancies.

Carolyn

[BonesMS]

Oh, I see, Bones. And I'm very glad to know you've taken some self-defense classes! 

I hope the year-end meeting is not the end of the calendar year, because those pushy volunteers could do alot of damage between now and then.

The Valentine which Hops mentioned is on the "Anything" thread, reply # 1149, Bones:   

http://www.voicelessness.com/disc3//index.php?topic=1179.0

It is cute  .. Izzy posted it.

Well, I hope you're off work today and able to relax. I think we're on our final phase of the flu in our household, now that everyone's had it... so this should be a far more pleasant day! Been a long haul X 4 of us.

Love to you and hugs,

Carolyn

Thanks, Carolyn.

I'm scheduled to work every night this week through Thursday and then will be attending training Friday and Saturday.

Bones

[Ami]

Just wishing you well, Bones ,and thinking of you.                                Warmly,  Ami

[BonesMS]

Just wishing you well, Bones ,and thinking of you.                                Warmly,  Ami

Thanks, Ami!

Bones

[Certain Hope]

Thanks, Carolyn.

I'm scheduled to work every night this week through Thursday and then will be attending training Friday and Saturday.

Bones

Does this training lead to promise of advancement and a pay raise, Bones?     Either way, I hope it's something you enjoy and from which you'll gain some benefits. Will be thinkin of you!

With love,
Carolyn

[BonesMS]

Thanks, Carolyn.

I'm scheduled to work every night this week through Thursday and then will be attending training Friday and Saturday.

Bones

Does this training lead to promise of advancement and a pay raise, Bones?     Either way, I hope it's something you enjoy and from which you'll gain some benefits. Will be thinkin of you!

With love,
Carolyn

I can only hope.  I'm trying the best I can.

Bones

[Certain Hope]

I can only hope.  I'm trying the best I can.

Bones

I know you are doing your best ... trying so very hard. It shows...  I can feel it.
I'm believing that you'll reap the harvest, dear Bones.

Love,
Carolyn

[BonesMS]

I can only hope.  I'm trying the best I can.

Bones

I know you are doing your best ... trying so very hard. It shows...  I can feel it.
I'm believing that you'll reap the harvest, dear Bones.

Love,
Carolyn

Thanks, Carolyn.

I recently got ANOTHER e-mail from NDoofus and I have not responded to her.  She has previously complained that her brother-in-law doesn't speak to her and her sister does not talk to her as much.  She has not yet asked why I have not responded.  When she has been confronted by her other relatives, she continues to act completely oblivious to WHY everyone is angry at her.

Bones

[Certain Hope]

Thanks, Carolyn.

I recently got ANOTHER e-mail from NDoofus and I have not responded to her.  She has previously complained that her brother-in-law doesn't speak to her and her sister does not talk to her as much.  She has not yet asked why I have not responded.  When she has been confronted by her other relatives, she continues to act completely oblivious to WHY everyone is angry at her.

Bones

Dear Bones,

I don't think she's acting... she seems to be genuinely oblivious. That doesn't mean she should receive pity or enabling as a response... only that maybe the anger at her can get chucked out the door and a new reason for not responding to her could take its place... ?
Just a thought. This is the way I'm trying to view my parents mail-contacts to me... so that they'll no longer arouse madness OR pity, but a detached understanding that this is simply the way they are.

Reason being, somewhere deep inside, I think it's possible for us to convince ourselves that we really are angry at "them"... long past the point where the anger shoulda been replaced by acceptance - not of their bad behaviour, but of our own inability to change them.

Love to you,
Carolyn