Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?

[Ami]

How is geneaology going , Bones?                         Ami

[BonesMS]

How is geneaology going , Bones?                         Ami

I have a few genealogical mysteries, in my own family tree, that I'm working on solving.

Bones

[Ami]

That sounds really interesting. Elaborate, if you care to. I would love to hear if you want to share .                 Ami

[BonesMS]

That sounds really interesting. Elaborate, if you care to. I would love to hear if you want to share .                 Ami

Well, one branch of the family appears to involve soap-opera-type situations!!!  At one point, my great-great-grandparents had a boarder living with them.  Then my great-great-grandmother started having an affair with the boarder, while still married to my great-great-grandfather, and she had a baby by this other man!  My great-great-grandfather reacted to this mess by getting very drunk and throwing himself under a train!

I've been trying to follow the "tracks" of this daughter, who was born under these less-than-auspicious circumstances, and her trail has been convoluted like you wouldn't believe!!!!  She married her first husband, around the age of 16, had several children by him; he dies; she places most of her children in an orphan asylum; remarries husband #2 and reclaims her children; husband #2 drinks himself to death; remarries husband #3 who "adopts" her children; husband #3 mysteriously drops out of sight, (document-wise), and she turns up with husband #4.  On top of that, she kept changing BOTH her first and last names!!!!  The only way I could find her was through her children!!!!  Now the question remains, what ultimately happened to her and when?

Bones

[Ami]

WOW --That is  interesting.   Keep me posted.You always think that those things only happen in modern times.I guess it is naive to think that.     Ami

[polymath]

Double wow! My first thought after reading that was how we are all awash on this sea of humanity, this ocean of people that all have a story behind the person you see in front of you and how most of that story they don't even know. The steady stream of decisions and actions across years, decades, even centuries that led up to this very moment in each of our lives. How we are each a collective of those things.

[Ami]

You expressed that beautifully, RS, like Thomas Wolfe!                  Ami

[BonesMS]

Double wow! My first thought after reading that was how we are all awash on this sea of humanity, this ocean of people that all have a story behind the person you see in front of you and how most of that story they don't even know. The steady stream of decisions and actions across years, decades, even centuries that led up to this very moment in each of our lives. How we are each a collective of those things.

Thanks, RS!

Regarding this one ancestor, I'm wondering how her story is going to turn out in the end.  Her direct descendants know very little about her and they don't even know when she died or where she is buried.  I think that once I find all the pieces of the puzzle, it might provide some answers about her and how her decisions have impacted her descendants.

Bones

[BonesMS]

WOW --That is  interesting.   Keep me posted.You always think that those things only happen in modern times.I guess it is naive to think that.     Ami

I used to think the same way until I discovered that my paternal grandmother had lived with a few men and had babies out-of-wedlock with them, during the 1890's!!!!  When she eventually married my grandfather, after living with him for several years and giving birth to my father, I learned that their relationship was inter-racial.  Back in the 1890's, those types of things were SCANDALOUS!!!!  Nowadays, it's barely a blip on anyone's radar!

Bones

[Ami]

Your topic helps me to see how clueless I have been about human nature for a long time, Bones. I hope I am coming out of it and getting some wisdom. I think you have to know yourself first before you can have true wisdom.'To thine own self be true and you won't be false to another"
 With an NM mirroring to you that you are worthless, the LAST thing you want to do is look at yourself . That is the dilemma of the abused child, maybe.
They can't know themselves and so they can't understand others and keep falling in to the same holes.
    Ami

[BonesMS]

Your topic helps me to see how clueless I have been about human nature for a long time, Bones. I hope I am coming out of it and getting some wisdom. I think you have to know yourself first before you can have true wisdom.'To thine own self be true and you won't be false to another"
 With an NM mirroring to you that you are worthless, the LAST thing you want to do is look at yourself . That is the dilemma of the abused child, maybe.
They can't know themselves and so they can't understand others and keep falling in to the same holes.
    Ami

True that!!!!

In addition, NWomb-Donor told a LOT of lies because, after all, "WHAT WOULD THE NEIGHBORS THINK?", if they knew the truth about my Dad being bi-racial?  (They all knew he was a good man when he was alive so what did they care?)

Bones

[BonesMS]

Just thinking.....

I was reading on another survivors' board about how NWomb-Donors seem to HOARD stuff!  (They love THINGS but REFUSE TO LOVE THEIR OWN CHILDREN!)  One poster shared that her N's hoarding became so bad that the house was CONDEMNED!!!!  The NWomb-Donor's reaction, she tried to persuade her children to store HER STUFF in their homes!!!  Needless to say, she got told "N-O!"  You can guess what NWomb-Donor's reaction was to THAT!!!!!  (After all, the NQUEEN is ENTITLED to whatever the NQUEEN WANTS!!!)

After reading the threads on hoarding, that's when I realized that is what one NFrenemy had been doing to several people, in different parts of the country for about 30 years!!!!!!  DEMANDING that all of us be FREE STORAGE of HER STUFF FOREVER!!!  And she got mad at me when I DARED to move and refuse to be HER FREE STORAGE ANY LONGER!!!!  GEEZ!!!!!!!

Bones

[Ami]

Just thinking.....

I was reading on another survivors' board about how NWomb-Donors seem to HOARD stuff!  (They love THINGS but REFUSE TO LOVE THEIR OWN CHILDREN!)  One poster shared that her N's hoarding became so bad that the house was CONDEMNED!!!!  The NWomb-Donor's reaction, she tried to persuade her children to store HER STUFF in their homes!!!  Needless to say, she got told "N-O!"  You can guess what NWomb-Donor's reaction was to THAT!!!!!  (After all, the NQUEEN is ENTITLED to whatever the NQUEEN WANTS!!!)

After reading the threads on hoarding, that's when I realized that is what one NFrenemy had been doing to several people, in different parts of the country for about 30 years!!!!!!  DEMANDING that all of us be FREE STORAGE of HER STUFF FOREVER!!!  And she got mad at me when I DARED to move and refuse to be HER FREE STORAGE ANY LONGER!!!!  GEEZ!!!!!!!

Bones

LOL Bones!                                        Ami

[Ami]

Any other geneology information to share (((Bones))))   ?                 Ami

[BonesMS]

Any other geneology information to share (((Bones))))   ?                 Ami

Well, I discovered that one distant cousin was a Hollywood actor during the Great Depression and a few other distant cousins were inventors.

Bones