Author Topic: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?  (Read 1379777 times)

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3405 on: April 18, 2012, 11:38:51 AM »
Still ruminating on the difference between Healthy Narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder.........................
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3406 on: April 18, 2012, 06:35:13 PM »
Just finished watching an episode of Judge Judy a little while ago.  I'm still scratching my head about that last case where the defendant bought TEN pairs of shoes, put a STOP PAYMENT on the check, then tried to give Judge Judy a boat-load of excuses!!!  I just don't get it!

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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3407 on: April 19, 2012, 06:04:38 AM »
I'm in a state of shock this morning.   :shock:

I had stepped outside of my comfort zone and ran for a position on my HOA Board of Directors.

I got elected.   :shock: :shock:

Now what do I do?

It's SCARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I also feel like thumbing my nose at the NQueen B*tch, if that makes any sense.)

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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3408 on: April 19, 2012, 06:12:31 AM »
Today's Dear Abby seems to allude to N's:

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120419

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sKePTiKal

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3409 on: April 19, 2012, 07:59:57 AM »
Well - now you find out what it's like being on the HOA, Bones! It won't live up to everything you hope it will... but it probably won't live down to your worst fears, either. Are you a member "at-large" or do you have a specific role?

Maybe you'll make a new friend who likes to the do some of the same things you do.
Maybe you'll get new insight (well, this almost guaranteed) into group dynamics.
Maybe you'll get bored - or surprised - or GASP!    HEARD and taken seriously. LOL...

I hope you enjoy the experience, overall, Bones. It sounds like it might be right up your alley. And I know you'll do a good job!

Congrats!

(kinda nice to be elected - picked - by a bunch of people isn't it? and YEAH, that is thumbing your nose at Nmom's crap - take that you huzzy! you were WRONG about BONES, weren't you?????)
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3410 on: April 19, 2012, 08:07:30 AM »
Well - now you find out what it's like being on the HOA, Bones! It won't live up to everything you hope it will... but it probably won't live down to your worst fears, either. Are you a member "at-large" or do you have a specific role?

Maybe you'll make a new friend who likes to the do some of the same things you do.
Maybe you'll get new insight (well, this almost guaranteed) into group dynamics.
Maybe you'll get bored - or surprised - or GASP!    HEARD and taken seriously. LOL...

I hope you enjoy the experience, overall, Bones. It sounds like it might be right up your alley. And I know you'll do a good job!

Congrats!

(kinda nice to be elected - picked - by a bunch of people isn't it? and YEAH, that is thumbing your nose at Nmom's crap - take that you huzzy! you were WRONG about BONES, weren't you?????)

Thanks, P.R.

It's definitely a DIFFERENT learning experience.  I'm still reading through the binder that was given to me and there's more papers to come that I will need to review.  (Kind of makes me think of that box of papers that Queen Elizabeth has to work through.  I don't think her job is easy either.)

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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3411 on: April 20, 2012, 05:24:28 AM »
The first letter in "Dear Margo" appears to be describing an N:

http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/pushy-to-say-the-least.html
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3412 on: April 21, 2012, 05:44:10 AM »
checking in...................................
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3413 on: April 22, 2012, 09:00:42 AM »
checking in...............
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3414 on: April 22, 2012, 12:20:20 PM »
Last night, as I went out with some friends, I met the 2-year-old daughter of one of them for the first time.  Normally, I don't consider myself a kid-friendly person as I'm not around children on a regular basis.  When I arrived, the other club members were commenting about how the 2-year-old wouldn't speak to them or go anywhere near them.  She just clung to Daddy.  As I sat down, I looked over at her and said "Hi" as I waved "Hello" at her.  Before I could blink, she was in my lap, saying "Hi" and cuddling with me!!!   :shock:  I cuddled her back and the other club members were wondering what did I do that was so different.  I have NO idea!

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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3415 on: April 23, 2012, 02:33:43 AM »
having trouble sleeping..........................
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3416 on: April 23, 2012, 11:50:37 AM »
I think I pissed off one of my neighbors.  Yesterday, while it was pouring rain outside, my phone rang.  It was my neighbor, sitting in his car in the parking lot and observing a group of teenagers loitering and smoking in an area where they weren't supposed to be.  (We have had an ongoing problem with trespassers.)  I advised him to call the city police and report what he was observing given that he is part of our Neighborhood Watch.  He wanted me to call it in FOR him!   :shock:  I explained that I have NO way of seeing these teenagers outside my windows because my line of sight is blocked by clusters of trees.  He is the one, sitting in his car eye-balling this group.  The police will ask specific questions that only he could answer as I CANNOT see anything from my vantage point.  (I was NOT about to go outside in the pouring rain with my cell phone when my neighbor was already there, sitting inside of his car on his cell phone to me!)  Needless to say, my neighbor was NOT happy when I told him:  "No, I am not calling in a second-hand report when you are the eye-witness.  (My feeling was:  in the time it took to dial my number and argue with me, he could have been reporting this information to the city police and let them handle it!)   :roll:

I'm also concerned that our Neighborhood Watch group could be getting a black eye based on what that idiot in Florida did!   :P
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sKePTiKal

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3417 on: April 23, 2012, 01:39:22 PM »
And it could be... that's why he wanted you to call it in. He was worried too. Glad you told him no, though! You're absolutely right that they would ask things only he could answer, during the report. Do you have "no loitering" signs up? Just wondering if this might help. At least it would be a public notice of your intent - then, when the report goes in - at least it'll be harder to brush off the report. Police are stretched pretty thin, these days, I think.

Teenagers have hung out like that, at least since I was a teen - usually it's just an annoyance; an irritation to the neighborhood. But if they are chased out - maybe they'd end up somewhere they really have no business being, ya know? Sometimes, it's possible to try talking to them - find out a little about them - in a sincerely nice way. I'm gonna guess they don't have anything else to do and no one at home cares. Too bad they'd probably refuse an offer of helping out around for there, for what y'all could afford to pay them. (That's my Pollyanna perspective.)

On the other hand (and way more realistically speaking) - I know full well the less than cordial (!) and intimidating stance of a group of teenaged boys (and these days, girls too) who feel like any normal human, neighborly interaction somehow has a nefarious, evil ulterior motive. Groups who are just a moment away from pretending to be - or being - thugs. And I completely understand how you really have to cautious... and that even the appearance of becoming a regular "hangout" for the kids quickly turns to something worse.

SIGH. Even in my day it was hard for kids who felt "in the way" and unwanted and uncool at home to find something productive to do. But at least we still had strong neighborhoods. The kids were organized from time to time, to donate time/skills/grunt labor to helping out older folks who couldn't tackle those jobs themselves. We picked up trash along back roads outside of town and around the parks we liked to hang out in. We volunteered - I was a candy striper for awhile. Why couldn't kids who need parental attention and guidance be paired up with seniors who physically can't do what they used to - to each other's mutual benefit?? Or am I just living in a fuzzy dream about the "good old days"?
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3418 on: April 23, 2012, 03:54:22 PM »
And it could be... that's why he wanted you to call it in. He was worried too. Glad you told him no, though! You're absolutely right that they would ask things only he could answer, during the report. Do you have "no loitering" signs up? Just wondering if this might help. At least it would be a public notice of your intent - then, when the report goes in - at least it'll be harder to brush off the report. Police are stretched pretty thin, these days, I think.

Teenagers have hung out like that, at least since I was a teen - usually it's just an annoyance; an irritation to the neighborhood. But if they are chased out - maybe they'd end up somewhere they really have no business being, ya know? Sometimes, it's possible to try talking to them - find out a little about them - in a sincerely nice way. I'm gonna guess they don't have anything else to do and no one at home cares. Too bad they'd probably refuse an offer of helping out around for there, for what y'all could afford to pay them. (That's my Pollyanna perspective.)

On the other hand (and way more realistically speaking) - I know full well the less than cordial (!) and intimidating stance of a group of teenaged boys (and these days, girls too) who feel like any normal human, neighborly interaction somehow has a nefarious, evil ulterior motive. Groups who are just a moment away from pretending to be - or being - thugs. And I completely understand how you really have to cautious... and that even the appearance of becoming a regular "hangout" for the kids quickly turns to something worse.

SIGH. Even in my day it was hard for kids who felt "in the way" and unwanted and uncool at home to find something productive to do. But at least we still had strong neighborhoods. The kids were organized from time to time, to donate time/skills/grunt labor to helping out older folks who couldn't tackle those jobs themselves. We picked up trash along back roads outside of town and around the parks we liked to hang out in. We volunteered - I was a candy striper for awhile. Why couldn't kids who need parental attention and guidance be paired up with seniors who physically can't do what they used to - to each other's mutual benefit?? Or am I just living in a fuzzy dream about the "good old days"?

The issue we have, where I live, is:

(a)  These teenagers do NOT live here!
(b)  We've had break-ins and vandalism from similar groups.
(c)  There has been a gang-related murder not far from my development.

And these are only a few of the issues that we have been dealing with.  I know I sound cynical and yet if these teens do NOT live in my condo development, they should NOT be trespassing onto the property.  There's a basketball court across the street and other recreational facilities available to them within walking distance of where they live.  They do NOT have to come onto our property, hang out and smoke whatever.

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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3419 on: April 23, 2012, 04:00:10 PM »
I'm just feeling aggravated in general as I had to go in to the doctor's office in order to be able to get my prescriptions refilled.  The doctor I used to see is no longer at that office and the doctor I was scheduled with, today, wasn't listening to ANYTHING I was saying!  I get half a sentence out and she's interrupting me to talk about herself, her husband, her kids, and the previous patient she had just seen!  When I started to discuss my medical history, e.g. IBS, kidney stone, asthma, for which the previous doctor had referred me to other specialists, her reaction was that I SHOULD cancel my appointments with these specialists and see ONLY HER!  (This was our very FIRST meeting!)  My reaction to this scenario is:  NO WAY!!!!  It's time to change to a doctor's office closer to home and find a doctor who is willing to take the cotton out of the ears, stick it in the mouth, SHUT UP and LISTEN!!!!!
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