Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?

[BonesMS]

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140214

[BonesMS]

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/if-you-havent-let-go-you-havent-forgiven.html

[BonesMS]

http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/the-40-mistake-10e43a8bcf.html

Makes me think of the saying:  "No good deed goes unpunished."  If I put that much work and expense into crocheting something for a beloved family member, only to have it thrown back in my face like that, I'd wouldn't bother with those people again because now I GET IT.

[BonesMS]

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/get-out-now-and-dont-go-back.html

[BonesMS]

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140215

[BonesMS]

Feeling irritable this morning.  I'm tired of having to explain the obvious, repeatedly, regarding asthma and second-hand smoke. 

[BonesMS]

Just got a brochure in the mail regarding a workshop titled:  "Disarming the Narcissist- Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed".  Not sure what to think about this.

[BonesMS]

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140216

[BonesMS]

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/lonely-mom-should-sleep-alone.html

[BonesMS]

I'm really sorry, Bones. What a sad, sad end for him.
And it doesn't sound as though she's doing well at all.

What a relief that you DID survive and extricate yourself from those bioroots.

(Keep crocheting, I always think of you as that beautiful reef...)

love,
Hops

Thanks, Hops.  I really appreciate this.

One of the things I did do was look up some county resources to relay to a go-between where she is staying temporarily.  That's the best I can do.  I refuse to subsidize her drinking.

I called the person back, who owns the cell phone that the homeless cousin borrowed.   After it rang several times, it went to voice mail and I left a list of county resources that could be tapped into......Social Services, Office of the Aged, Adult Protective Services, 2-1-1, 3-1-1, the Homeless Hotline, etc.  (During her "monologue" to me, she mentioned that her son is doing okay.  I have the feeling she tried to hit him up for money and he gave her the same response I did.....NO.)

I have not heard back from either of them.  I won't be surprised if I don't get another phone call for another several months until she thinks she can attempt to demand money again.  She doesn't understand what the word "NO" means.  I will NOT subsidize her drinking.

I'm scratching my head in bewilderment.

Last night, I got another phone call from my homeless cousin.  Apparently, she's trying to get into assisted living.  (She needs it as she has been unable to care for herself adequately for a long time and I suspect brain damage from her drinking.)  I remembered her previous phone call but, wisely, chose not to bring it up.  Then she started talking about how frequently her husband was visiting her and how she's attempting to make arrangements for him to get into assisted living.  (Huh?     During the last phone call, my homeless cousin told me he had been murdered even though her affect/tone/emotional state sounded like he had gone to the corner store and bought a loaf of bread.)  By now, I'm thinking (a) she's drunk again and/or (b) she has dementia that could be alcohol-induced.  Lord only knows.   

[BonesMS]

I'm struggling for words right now.

First the massacre in Newtown, Connecticut.  Then, a few minutes ago, I received a phone call from my second cousin...the one who is homeless.  She was unable to find my phone number until today to call me.  During the phone call, I learned that her husband was gunned down three months ago.  She was too drunk to tell me any details before the call was terminated.  She did attempt to demand money...again.

Dysfunction just doesn't even begin to describe this mess!   

It's been well over a year since she called in December 2012.  How she remembered to find my phone number, I do not know.

[BonesMS]

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/roi-not-the-only-consideration.html

[BonesMS]

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140217

[BonesMS]

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20140218

[BonesMS]

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/sexual-assailant-still-accepted.html