Hi Bones,
You have the patience of a saint.
I would probably be bald right about now from pulling my hair out if I had to deal with this from an adult. She reminds me of my kids who suddenly become hearing impaired when they hear the word no. It is almost as though they have very, very selective amnesia when it comes to the words “no” or “don’t.”
Did she ever have any sort of head trauma?
I am curious if she would react differently if instead of using “no” or “don’t” she was given instructions on what she could do - for example, while I am at the crisis center, you can call me between these hours only … (sometimes works better with my kids if I give them a what can instead of what can't – and her behavior seems very childlike).
It would be interesting to see if her brain just flatlines on the word “no” (like a little kid) or if her brain flatlines on anything that does not mesh with what she wants, regardless of what is said (like an N).
I really admire you for putting up with the nonsense to help her mother. It takes a toll dealing with people like this.
Much love to you,
Peace
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Hope – you said
The thing that really gets me is that they've never once asked WHY I don't respond.
I had the same thing happen with my parents. I did not initiate a phone call to them once in 10 years (at that time we were still associating). I would return a call – but never once did I initiate one. I got plenty of grief over not calling enough, but was never once asked why. I thought that was really telling – either they had the answer already figured out (I was a self-centered brat) or they didn’t ask because they didn’t want to hear the answer.
