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My wounded inner child.....

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Michelle:
Dawning -

Thank you for responding.  I am in total shock that our mothers responses sound similar!!!!!   I have never in my life met anyone that has a mother like mine.  Although sad for you, I honestly felt a little comforted that you could relate.  I can feel your pain and will add you to my prayers!

I agree that it is time for a change.  It took me several months for my counselor to convince me that I can't fix my mother.  I just thought I wasn't doing things "right".  Now I realize she has to have the desire first and at this point in time that is not an option for her.  I will not give up eternally though!  I will still pray for her to get healthy.  It makes me sad that she will never be truly happy in her own life also.

Thanks for the links and references to book lists, etc.  I am going to start on those immediately.  I already reserved a book at the library called "If you had controlling parents - how to make peace with your past and take your place in the world" by dan neuharth.  Heard of it?  I found it while searching the web for support groups on NPD.  

Good luck to you and know that others feel your pain and care about you.  

Your friend,
Michelle

write:
this is a great website, once you digest and internalise self-defeating beliefs and the way we translate emotions into thoughts, beliefs and actions it is so liberating.

http://www.rational.org.nz/public/BeliefsQuestionnaire/bel1.htm

Anonymous:

--- Quote from: Michelle ---
Here are my questions:

1.  You guys are more experienced with NPD than I am.  Does my mother sound like that is what she has?
--- End quote ---


Yes, in spades. Massive narcissistic disorder.



--- Quote from: Michelle ---2.  Do you have any advice on how to bring closure with her?
--- End quote ---


You won't get closure with her, as she is far too disturbed. The main thing is to make a good life for yourself. Deal with her as little as possible, and keep getting support on your limit-setting.
 
 

--- Quote from: Michelle ---3.  Any advice on dealing with her or do you agree that I just need to not have contact with her?  
--- End quote ---


As little contact as possible, since she is malevolent and this won't change.



--- Quote from: Michelle ---4.  Is there any way to suggest that she get help without offending her?
--- End quote ---


She is offended by nearly anything, so I don't see how it could be avoided. She won't get help in any case.




--- Quote from: Michelle ---5.  I am interested in "voicelessness" but could not find a good definition on the website.  Could someone explain it for me?
--- End quote ---


It means (to me) that a person has difficulty standing up for him/herself due to poor role-modeling, lack of practice, and inhibitions against it.

bunny

michelle:
Bunny - your replies were very helpful, thank you.  You have basically echoed everything that my counselor has said, but for some reason it feels better coming from someone who knows about and has dealt firsthand with this disorder.  I especially liked your definition of voicelessness.  I definitely fall into that definition.  Thank you very much!

Michelle

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