((((((((Gaining Strength))))))))
I'm just reading and following along here, with not much to contribute at the moment, but one thought...
I'm wondering,
Hops, when you said -
Quote:
" Perhaps one reason you had trouble maintaining your house and allowed the mess to build was to (unconsciously) say to her:
'See mother, I need you to love me so much that I'll show you that you are right. See how I've let everything go to ruin? I am showing you I agree with you, now will you love me and take me shopping like other mothers do?' "
I'm relating to that very strongly, but from a different perspective (or maybe it's the same? but I don't think so)...
Often, these days, I'm feeling very resistent to "doing" ... whatever it might be - the dutiful sort of stuff, like cleaning the messes.
I'd thought that this resistence was a natural consequence to my breaking of some serious compulsive, perfectionistic inclinations,
BUT now, I feel like it's more related to the desire to be loved and accepted for who I am,
rather than what I do.
And I think I just answered my own question.
"I'd thought" .... but now "I feel"... aha.
wow.
Thank you, ladies...
Hugs,
Hope