thanks bella...i think you are right about this. it's hard to heal when the person is still trying to harass and stalk you. i am glad i contacted her, though. she has told me that he has made underhanded death threats to her, has sent sexual photos of her and him to her father and blackmailed her father with them, has alienated almost all of their mutual friends, has sent her via email photos of dead animals, etc. she asked me if i seriously thought he was capable of doing physical harm to her or her loved ones, and i told her "yes" and to take any threat he makes very seriously...i encouraged her to go to the police and follow their advice. i encouraged her to move away from that city (she still lives there, and he knows where she lives), to get a dog, pepper spray, alarm system in her home, take self-defense classes, and maybe get a gun for self-defense. it sounds to me like she wasn't totally taking his threats seriously, so i'm glad i did contact her.
but you're right. i think i need to step back now. i've pointed her to some helpful websites with information on all of this stuff. it's really up to her now to do what she needs to do to protect herself.
