Would you tell me a bit more about her, if you can?
Well, first I have only done for her what I think anyone should do for another (and her mother stayed with us for days at a time for the first few months). Not to take care of your mate seems wholly inhuman to me. I can't comprehend that mindset. So, no, I didn't bring it up for a pat on the back. People such as Hops and tt deserve one far more than me because I know my wife would do the same and more for me were the situation reversed. I get the impression neither one of them knows that.
My wife, who is the strongest but most gentle, humble but most beautiful woman I know, was diagnosed with breast cancer in Sep 2005. It had spread to all 15 of the lymph nodes they removed. Being a stubborn girl who believed in natural remedies she refused chemo and even tamoxifen which is an estrogen blocker.
Breast cancer most commonly metastisizes to bone. In March of 2006 she developed pain in her hip. She was in denial that this pain or the ensuing ones in her ribs, back and pelvis were related to her cancer. Denial is a very powerful thing and neither I nor her mother, sister or friends could get through to her. Finally, she became anemic due to the cancer interfering with her marrow. She was also hypercalcemic which is caused by the cancer displacing the bone's calcium into the bloodstream. She was so weak and in so much pain she had to lift herself up on my outstretched arm and hold onto it to get to the bathroom. She nearly fainted a couple of times so I finally forced her into the car and admitted her to the emergency room. She spent a week in the hospital and was told by a feisty and forceful little oncolgist, who she couldn't stand at the time, that she was still treatable but that she would very soon be dead if she did nothing. He and the atmosphere of ICU did to her denial what no one else could.
She started chemo a couple of weeks later and did very, very well. She had very few side effects. She needed caretaking primarily because it took her months to recover her strength from the anemia and because her mobility was restricted from the cancer in her bones. She was blessed that it had not spread anywhere else. Her tumor marker started out at 400+, with 38 and below being normal. After chemo it was down to 40+. She is now on tamoxifen and her marker has continued down until it is now 18. She gets a little stiff if she sits in one position for more than a couple of hours. Otherwise she is better than ever. We hiked about seven miles a couple of months ago when we were on vacation and we just got back from a trip where she went sea kayaking for the first time. She and our daughter are leaving today to join our cousin in a girls trip to the coast for four days. She was wonderful before but has a zest for life now that is hard to keep up with. Nor does anything worry or faze her any more. As she said the other day, when you have been at death's door every other problem seems pretty trivial.
At this time last year she was still pretty near death, and I didn't expect her to be here now. She has a good doctor but even he has been amazed at her recovery and her tolerance of the chemo. She still has cancer and it may resume at any time. But while I thank her doctor for what he has done I believe it is a miracle. That is why my favorite verse has now become "Every good and perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights.."
He gave her back to me and someday He will probably take her away. But I didn't deserve her in the first place so whatever time He lets me borrow His daughter is a good and perfect gift.
mud
