As I was researching some info this morning, it occurred to me to look up something on autism, learning disorders, aspbergers syndromes. I'm beginning to wonder if my husband might have some form of any or all of these things. What's the difference between narcissistic personality disorder, a learning disorder, and autism or aspbergers? Anyone?
This might very well explain a LOT of the following in my husband:
Prefers to work alone rather than with others
prefers to do things the same way over and over again.
Unable to be imaginative at times
Over-focused to a point that you cannot get his attention
Rude behavior- interrupting phone calls and, when told "i'm on the phone, please wait"...ignores you and keeps on talking.
Obsessed with knowing what time it is, what time things start, will end, how long they will be.
Does not like social situations normally.
Drawn more to ideas, tasks, success, money, than to people, emotions
Gets angry about change.
Hates get-togethers where people sit and talk, rather than DO something.
monopolizes conversation
can tell you how ANY movie will end and is 99% RIGHT most of the time.
doesn't enjoy fiction type stories
Difficulty making friends
Very PATTERNED way of doing things. He must always drive the same roads to work. He always has to have the table set a certain way. He will say "I EXPECT the food to be on the table when I get home, and don't call me if it's not already on the table, COOLING OFF." (you dare not call him to dinner, if you are still dishing food out)
Wow. My father has a twin.
Hi reallyme. I'm not an expert, but I have been studying these questions for the past couple of years. I've described my father as AS with N tendencies, because one label doesn't quite fit all the behaviors. Your husband sure appears to fit the Asperger profile. Some phrases really jump out at me: Lack of empathy, doesn't understand the childrens fantasy life, inability to pick up non verbal cues. As I understand it these inabilities are the core of AS. Aspies have been described as "mind blind" because they can't quite "get" other people, beyond surface appearance and literal verbal cues. They are thus "blind" to other people as complex multi faceted beings with a mind of their own.
My father is not usually mean spirited in his relationships, but the problem, I have come to realize, is the constant stream of obnoxiousness, rudeness, and low level abuse. Sometimes he even seems to be trying to overcome his own limitations, but it never lasts long and he snaps back to his "baseline" AS personality. Thus any relationship with him tends to be chaotic and unfulfilling. He has no friends and has had problems with every relationship in his life, other than his dog and (so far)his 6 year old grandson.
I have some comments about where my mother fits in, since this is sort of the role you have, and I'll get back later.
