Author Topic: fear of compliments?  (Read 4286 times)

Dawning

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 344
fear of compliments?
« Reply #15 on: May 07, 2004, 02:18:09 AM »
Quote
Me, no Me, no Me, no Me. An endless funnel of need


Yet we all need our voices to be heard and listened to.  I think the difference is that the Nist will behave as though kicking the dying/sick patient out of the bed so they can get in and get all the attention - 100% of the time.   Your dad did it to your stepmom and the N-triad in my life did it to my dying grandfather.  It hurt me right to the bone.  And it was shocking.
"No one's life is worth more than any other...no sister is less than any brother...."

Wildflower

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 292
fear of compliments?
« Reply #16 on: May 07, 2004, 02:38:23 AM »
Quote from: Dawning
Quote
Me, no Me, no Me, no Me. An endless funnel of need


Yet we all need our voices to be heard and listened to.  I think the difference is that the Nist will behave as though kicking the dying/sick patient out of the bed so they can get in and get all the attention - 100% of the time.   Your dad did it to your stepmom and the N-triad in my life did it to my dying grandfather.  It hurt me right to the bone.  And it was shocking.


Wow, Dawning.  That's an amazing distinction between a healthy need and an N need.  We all need each other.  It's human.  We need to be able to find our voices on this board.  Some need more time than others, more nurturing than others.

But yeah, kicking the dying/sick out of bed so they can get all the attention?  Hurt right to the bone?  I think I know how you feel.  That shock and outrage.  Pure outrage.  I can barely contain myself when I witness these selfish acts.  I really see red.  I think that's what triggered my anger this morning (yesterday for you), though it may have been misplaced.  

In any case, it's unbelievable, isn't it?

Thanks for that insight, Dawning.
Wildflower
If you want to sing out, sing out
And if you want to be free, be free
'Cause there's a million ways to be, you know that there are
-- Cat Stevens, from the movie Harold and Maude

sjkravill

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 67
fear of compliments?
« Reply #17 on: May 07, 2004, 12:44:52 PM »
The idea of two N's together...
My inlaws!  Very strange to be around.  It is exactly that Me, No Me, No Me!  I know that all Ns are different.  But with my inlaws, it's like they both enjoy bullying eachother for the power.  They will be fighting and then they just start laughing or they change the subject to some unrelated, inappropriate topic. Neither one seems to have boundaries or any kind of social filter. It's this wierd sort of magnatism between them.  Like they both "met their match" so to speak. (the second marriage for both). Their goal in life is to win, and this is the one person that will keep them interested and in pursuit of winning to the end of their days.   Although there are a few sweet moments, and they both have a good side, usually they are a nightmare. We visit as infrequently as possible!  Usually after we leave, my H and I take a huge sigh of relief. (we all survived the visit!)