Dear Mati,
Personally, I believe that we are called out of dead religion into the light of Christ, from the moment that we're born again from above.
Practically speaking, it takes some time to come to terms with the many startling realities of this drastic change.
There may be some really sincere believers amongst the groups we encounter, but I just know it's so important to fellowship with a group which, first of all - teaches directly from the Bible and not some catalog of dogma, and secondly - a group that's actively engaged in seeking God now, in the present, not stuck in thinking that they've already got Him all sewed up.
I love the whole "church without walls" concept and have seen it work in a few places enough to convince me that this is the way to go.
It's sad that there are so many who have forsaken Christ, who alone is to be their first love,
and become so enmeshed with groups in such unhealthy ways.
To me, so many are modern-day pharisees... teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.
But we're told that one of the signs of the last days is that the love of many will grow cold,
and that is exactly what I see happening throughout the visible church.
My most recent encounter with this was this past Spring, when I asked a local pastor to baptise me.
It was a very small body, with not more than 30 in regular attendance, and I felt that God had led me there
because He knows my shyness required such an intimate setting. Most of the people welcomed me enthusiastically
and I was so happy to be there among them... and then... a couple weeks after my baptism, the pastor handed me this
little black book, on my way out of the service. "We'd like you to become a member," he said.
"Ohhh...," I said, "in my ignorance, I'd thought I was a member." But no, in order to be a real part of the group, a voting member, in other words,
I needed to study the "manual". So I did. And I'll tell you... this group clearly doesn't think that the Holy Spirit is up to the job of sanctifying disciples of Christ, because they have obviously determined that they need to do His work for Him.
Ugh. So I told the pastor my specific concerns, at which time he told me how much he needed me to be a member (failing congregation), as though it didn't really matter whether or not I was in complete agreement with the little black book, as long as I filled a seat in the building.
I told him no.
The following Sunday evening, after I did not attend, I received a phone message that he and his wife were driving around our rural area looking for our house, because, he said, "we need to get you back in church".
That settled it for me. I am in no way interested in participating in this guy's charade.
If he doesn't believe his own manual enough to stand up for it, then why did he give it to me?
And then to try to just appear on the scene here and pressure me into agreement?
It's taken me several months to resolve all of this in my shy little pea-brain, to the point where I finally wrote him
a letter detailing all of my objections, to send along with his manual, in the mail.
I included the fact that I did not appreciate it a bit that he took it upon himself to drive around looking for my house,
instead of calling to see whether that would be alright. He knew how timid and mousy I was... and I feel that he was counting on that shock, of him just showing up here, to put me into submissive mode. When God is in a thing, we will never, ever feel manipulated that way.
So I know that you will be better than fine without this group, Mati. When the Holy Spirit convicts us of something, we don't feel tortured by it... there is no condemnation. I really know how scary it is to leave behind the familiar,
but in so many ways it's a necessary part of growth.
As you listen for the voice of God through all this, and ensure that what you're hearing lines up with His written Word, you will receive the guidance you need.
I do hope that you're able to tie into some solid Bible teaching, because that spiritual nourishment from the Word really is our daily bread.
If you look at
http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/ there are so many good ministries with archived messages available.
I'm sure you would find some favorites there.
Also, I am part of a U.S. fellowship whose website link I can pm to you, if you'd like... if you can stand listening
to the teacher's very pronounced Southern American voice
I've gotten accustomed to it and listen daily, along
with my regular reading. After so many years of dead religion, I was literally starved, spiritually, and these teachings
have been the greatest blessing of my life. You are absolutely right that delaying recovery is not God's will.
I am absolutely confident that He will lead you where you'll receive just exactly what you need at this stage, and continue
to draw you closer to Him, Mati. He's just that good!
More hugs,
Hope
