Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Mother's Day - a day of dread and self loathing.
Anonymous:
Yes, I did anti-depressants too. I was taking Paxil for anxiety and depression. It was a mixed blessing.
First, I am grateful, because I was having severe panic attacks at the thought of telling NH that I was leaving. And, they were so disabling, (really, what can you actually accomplish when you are feeling like you are dying ten or more times a day?)
I never would have been able to leave unless I had been on the medication. So, for that I really am grateful, because I have been gone for over a year now and am on the N recovery road.
Second, they do have a way of blunting your emotions. This also has its pluses and minuses. Plus, because if you are constantly in the throes of an emotional crisis, you can't get anything done (see above - panic attacks.) Also depression is disabling. When you are weak, confused and paralyzed, you can't get up the strength to leave either.
The minus is you are not feeling your feelings and working through them. Eventually this will catch up with you. You will HAVE to DO the emotional work sometime. This delay can throw you off balance if you aren't ready for it. Here I am all happy that I finally got OUT, life is looking good ..... and .... WHAM !! Forewarned is forearmed.
Third, I found that although doctors are very willing to prescribe these, they often really do not know much about them. I was not told about the withdrawal symptoms. Like Bunny, the withdrawal was severely unpleasant and went on for months. The withdrawal actually went on for longer than the time I was on the stuff !! And I did not quit cold turkey and I did it with supervision. The doctor really just didn't know enough.
I think that it is just that our bodies react uniquely. Some people have no withdrawal symptoms at all. I had terrible dizziness and electric shocks shooting through my brain. Even though the shocks don't really hurt, they are extremely disorienting. I used to wait until 5:30 to drive home so I wouldn't be in traffic AND I took the back roads ! Had I not investigated this on my own, I would have thought that I was having a stroke or had a brain tumor.
So, do I regret going on them? No. I realize that if I had not, I would still be with NH and would be a basket case. The meds allowed me to get past the symptoms so that I could act.
But, you need to do your homework. These meds are powerful and they are working on your BRAIN for crying out loud !! There are many forums and articles on the web. Educate yourself and anticipate that you might be one of the ones who gets all of the side effects.
Don't go off them until you are feeling secure and you have the time, energy and the wherewithal to deal with real life and the rebound of your emotions. But, DO go off them !!
When/if you read all the stuff on the web, you may be as horrified as I was to find how many people have been taking this stuff for many many years. It's scary !! And doctors may tell you that the reason you are having withdrawal just shows you how much you NEED this medication and will pop you right back on. And increase the dose to boot !! From what I have read, it does not appear that they know anything about the long term effects of being on this stuff. Remember, it's only been on the market for 20 years.
So, that's my story. I don't regret it at all. I just wish I had been more informed and then would have been more prepared.
Gingerpeach
Anonymous:
Sorry mrt,
I wasn't completely paying attention to the question.... if you go to a search engine and put in "antidepressant withdrawal" or "lexapro withdrawal" you will find more information than you bargained for.
The main thing is to decrease the dosage in small increments and take a long time doing it. Some people even get a liquid version toward the end because they can't break the pills up evenly when you're getting down to the very small quantities you need to do it properly.
Take a good read and then pay attention to what your body tells you.
Gingerpeach
Ishana:
I cannot tell you how good it feels to know I am not the only person that used to HATE Mother's Day. I hated it because of all of the horrible Mother's Days in my life from my N stepmother. And because I miss my mother who passed away when I was 6 years old.
What I have come to in my life is what others were saying here...figure out what YOU want to do and then do it. Forget the "tradition" that says you have to do a certain thing on ANY holiday. Do what feels right for you and your own family (if you have one.) Personally, I do the obligatory Mother's Day card and thats it. And I get the generic one that doesn't have a bunch of sentimental words that I don't mean anyway. I mail it off a few days ahead. Then I make my own plans and enjoy my day. It works like magic. I rarely dread Mother's Day anymore. I take it on my terms. I will do things that honor my biological mother and maybe other women in my life who have helped me along the way. I have turned it into a day that has meaning for me.
Oh, and another thing. As a mother myself, I don't make expectations of others in my family towards me. I will discuss plans with my husband and kids, but if they're not into it, so be it. I go ahead and follow through with whatever I decided to do. Or what my family and I agreed on together. That's it. An invitation. No expectations, no disappointments. Just a great day. :D
Ishana
Anonymous:
Gingerpeach,
I had tried to quit cold turkey and I was getting exactly what you described here. It freaks me out when I get those shocks. It sooo weird. The dizziness is weird too because it's not coming from your inner ear but from the back of your head.
--- Quote from: Anonymous --- I had terrible dizziness and electric shocks shooting through my brain. Even though the shocks don't really hurt, they are extremely disorienting.
--- End quote ---
I had wanted to get off of them, the doctor that prescibed them up and moved away. I've tried to break those pills but they just crumble or split unevenly.
I guess I'll take yours and Bunny's advice and go back to my new doctor and have him help me get off of them.
mrt
Dawning:
Hi MrT. The Mother's Day dread you feel is entirely justified based on what you've written. That "floozy" sweetheart of a wife you have been with for 19 years is the Mother to celebrate, in my opinion. She sounds so supportive.
Talking about anti-depressants, a word of warning about those dratted things....don't ever, ever take them without a doctor's supervision. I know that you can order them off the net these days but let me share this: I went to SE Asia several years ago where you can buy prozac over the counter. I was depressed and travelling with someone. We were sharing a room. When he wanted to go to the strip shows on his last night there, I marched over to the drugstore and bought prozac. How stupid. Flame away!! I bought them and took two at the same time. Then, drank a beer and watched a movie. 6 hours later, my brain felt like it was expanding into some awful, awful place. I told my roommate that I wanted to kill my father among other things. I couldn't sleep. The next day, I rented another hotel room and stayed inside all day writing myself out of this bad, bad place. Journalling saved my life probably because, from what I have heard, taking them like that can kill you.
Question: are they good for curing inerita?
MrT, Don't fall into the trap of self-loathing. You have support in your recovery. Anyway, from what you have described, your mother is going to do what she does regardless of anything you do. You are not responsible for her feelings, actions or words.
~D.
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version