Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > What Helps?

Dreams

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Anonymous:
Hi Cathy,
Wow!  You have so much insight for me... Where to begin?

First, I want to say, I am dealing with different intensities of depression for the past two years. My depression is mild to moderate right now.  I admire your great strength and courage, and your responsibility with a daughter. How very difficult it must be. It sounds like you are being a wonderful mom inspite of the difficulty of depression.  How lucky your daughter is!  She will never feel responsible for your happiness, and she will never feel guilty about her happiness.  

You are right, parents are responsible for being parents.  Children are not responsible for their parents.  This is a difficult concept, for children who have been given too much responsibility, to grasp.  

My mother's life is a bit of a mystery to me. You have sparked my thinking!  I was hesitent to say she was an N, but I just realized that there are N tendancies.  Yes, you are right.  In a way, I am possessed by her in some ways.  I want to please her, and I want not to upset her.  She likes to control things and to live through me.  It's as though she never figured out that I was not her.  Unlike her, I did not like shopping, I did not like the clothse she picked out for me.  These things always hurt her feelings.  She liked making my decisions because she knew I would thank her.  She knew what was best for me.  I wanted a very small, inexpensive wedding.  But it was though my mother were planning her own wedding again.  I just let her have it.  It was easier than arguing with her.  It was elegant and beautiful.  I try to understand my mother.  I try to have a peaceful relationship with her, but this is done either at a distance, or at the expense of living my own life.  

I have always had difficulty accepting the bits of my mother that reside in me.  I have wanted to be different from my mother.  And when I realize I am like her, it frightens me. It is like swimming in a dark, cold lake.

My maternal grandmother, I have always adored her!  I have always felt that she understood me in a way my mother did not.  In comparison to my father's family my mother's family is perfect.  It is only now that I realize there is a certain way things should be done in my mother's family. There are subtle favoritisms, which must be hurtful to my mother.  I think I care about my grandmother's approval more than anyone else's in the whole wide world.  So, yes, I am swimming in her back yard.  I am swimming in a family history.  As I think about my mother's siblings, and the cousins, I realize there are some N tendancies in who each of them is. Controling perfectionists, and controling rebels.  Extremely subtle, but powerful nonetheless.  We (the family) are all in the pool, but most of us don't know it.  

Thank you for your insight in helping me to continue to work with this dream and frame it in different ways!

Peace, sjkravill

DenmarkGuy:
Wow-- how wonderful to find a discussion of dreams here....

I have found dreams, and dream analysis, a wonderful insight into the "unfiltered" psyche. My therapist during the latter stages of my former marriage (to a BDP/emotionally abusive person) suggested that I started keeping a dream journal-- because (she said) dreams are symbolic of what our subconscious is saying, without the "safety filters" we wear during the waking hours. This was almost 10 years ago, and I have been keeping a dream journal ever since. I have found tremendous healing in dreams-- although the "danger" with dreams is that they can be pretty "to the point" and may present us with truths we are not ready to look at.

Ultimately, a dream only makes sense in the context of the dreamer's life. "Outsiders" can interpret the symbolism, and perhaps find patterns, but we have to find our own "meaning."

Water, in itself, symbolizes the psyche the and subconscious, the state of your unconscious mind. A pond would suggest a "contained" issue(s), something that's being held in a limited space. The fact that the pond is murky implies negative emotions-- and more literally that your emotions are "unclear" or "muddy." Common to all three dreams is the darkness of the water, which again is a symbol of emotional states. Here the implication may be about "keeping things in the dark," and fear of the unknown-- which sort of matches up with "I never knew what my feet were going to touch." The icebergs are a VERY unusual dream symbol but they imply a feeling of not having used one's potential and strengths. These dreams are very strongly about your mind and "inner work" you're doing, or needing to do.

If you're interested in dreams, I can also suggest a dream analysis community online, where I sometimes post my dreams for analysis-- the people there have been very insightful.

--Peter

Learning:
Hi Peter,

Your post is very interesting.  I also have very vivid dreams quite often that I try to analyze.  I would be interested in the forum you mentioned or any other resources that are helpful in interpreting dreams.

Thanks!
Lisa

P.S. Hi Sjkravill, how are you doing?

sjkravill:
Godag Peter,
I can speak Danish!
Thank you for your dream insight. I have beel slowly learning more about analyzing dreams, and sometimes find it quite revealing... There are layers and layers of meaning.  Sometimes, it is obvious, and sometimes mysterious.  It has been helpful for me to recognize my feelings.

Hi Learning,
I'm doing ok... in the midst of a transition right now.

Anonymous:
Can anyone here suggest an respected book on dream interpretation?

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