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the "peace" paradox

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Anonymous:
Hey Michelle,
Thank you for the kind encouragement to my seemingly obvious observation!  
And thank you for your insight and definitions.
I desire all of them (the kinds of peace), but I also agree that sometimes conflict motivates us to grow in new ways.  And that conflict is inevitable, and is necessary for health.

Yes, you have a great point.  We can't hit the delete button on our pasts, and maybe we wouldn't even if we could.
But we can maybe get to the point where the past doesn't have control.  The point where the past can be used for good, and we are stronger.

Peace to all! sjkravill ;)

Michelle:
sjkravill-


--- Quote ---We can't hit the delete button on our pasts, and maybe we wouldn't even if we could.
--- End quote ---


That's a hard one that my therapist is dealing with me on right now.  WOULD I change it?  Right now, in my beginning of healing, I think I would.  But my therapist says that she wants me to get to the point where I can even see the "good" or at least the "beneficial" parts of my past.  That's a hard one for me.  I am very "immature" at this one.


--- Quote ---But we can maybe get to the point where the past doesn't have control.  The point where the past can be used for good, and we are stronger.
--- End quote ---


That's a great goal - which I think we all have in common.  

Great points!  Keep em coming - your making my brainwaves much clearer!   :lol:

Michelle

Jen:
sjkravill-

After an entire night of balling my eyes out (and subsequently feeling like I got hit by a mack truck this am), feeling like I was heading back down after climbing up a little, I came to the forum & yours was the first mail I read.  I haven't been here in awhile.

It was just what I needed to read.  

>Will we ever be healed? Will we ever be at peace?

This is what I was asking myself the entire night....   I'm so *tired* of searing, debilitating emotional pain, and unhappiness in life.

I *know* I am the only one that can change this.  

>Healing, in the way we are healing, is about becoming aware. Often >awareness brings more disturbance.

You are so right.  This is the "modus operandi" of healing, I think.  And just like you mention, *where* the healing process might take me, is scary (i.e. will I lose very important relationships, which would be extremely painful?  Will I take the wrong path?)

Struggling to grow, and heal is a day by day thing for me, and at least for now, I'm still willing to give it all I have.   I'm so thankful that I still have the seeds of hope & faith within me.   Without these things, I know I wouldn't make it.  

I also like what Michelle said about not letting the past define who we are anymore.   I've been feeling a bit like I can put the past into perspective, and let it go....    Like I can almost touch that place where it can be done...

Like you sjkravill, I am using my strength when I have it, to heal and grow.   Today is surely not a day that I have it, but it's okay.   I know it will return another day, and stay with me awhile.

Thanks for sharing (and put so beautifully) --it helps others more than you know....

Jen

Anonymous:
Hi Everyone,

Welcome Jen... I am glad this thread helped a little.  I sure know those nights, and the wretched days the follow.... *sigh*  I hope you can hear some birds singing today and hope just enough.  I am glad you have not lost your sense of hope. That's what keeps me going too.

I was just thinking "I hope I can get past this, so that I can just be normal and happy, and do everything right again."

I have been thinking of the concept of the "wounded Healer"  Henri Nowen is a Catholic writer.  (I am not touting any one religion.  I also love Herold Kushner and other mystics). The Wounded Healer is a christian concept... but the idea, I think, can apply to anyone.  The idea that what we can give to a broken world flows from our own experience of being woundedness....  

Maybe it's a big leap... but, maybe I won't ever be completely whole... maybe I will always have wounds and broken places.  (though, I do hope and expect that one day the past will not control or define me) But the broken places in glass are where the light shines through brightest.  Others can feel less alone... others can have courage because I survived.  Others can come into my pain, and help to heal me, and they can be healed. Maybe my experience gives me wisdom that can help someone else, or emapthy...

Peace, sjkravill

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