In my view, it depends on what type of dysfunction we are talking about.
Dear finding Peace,
I can totally agree with this comment! Very wise words.
Take a drug addict for example. If I offer true compassion, which in this case may be an intervention, I may have influenced the dysfunction if they accept it and go off drugs. On the other hand, they may not accept it.
My experience with interventions is that they only work if a threat is involved, and that once the threat or `control' is removed, or the addict otherwise becomes less fearful, the motivation to quit the addiction is also removed. A typical example is the addict who just leaves their relationship to avoid the `threat', or quits because his peers have a great influence in their life and shame them into quitting. Then some sort of stress comes along, and the addict just goes back to their old ways, often in secret.
If I offer idiot compassion, in this case an extreme example would be giving the drug addict drugs because I can’t stand to see them go through withdrawal. I am not responsible for the person being a drug addict, but I would feel personally resonsible for enabling the addication (and ultimately all I have done is assuaged my own feelings because I couldn't stand to see them in pain). Extreme case I know.
I guess you could also say that having an intervention is also about assuaging the feelings of those around the addict, just in a different way?.
Also, my main issue with informaton surrounding substance addiction, is that the examples I've read to illustrate it are always `extreme examples', inspiring imagery of the ghettos, when the life of the addict has spiraled out of control. Usually they talk about hard drugs, or extreme alcoholism blended in with violence, abuse, and criminal activity, when most addicts do not conduct themselves this way necessarily.
I think the majority of substance abusers are highly functional, and non criminal or violent, if you include smokers and people who drink every night after work in this picture.
My main point i guess, is that I feel that I still have a lot to learn about this, and the extreme examples I've found in co-D literature, combined with the necessity to believe in God, and the ` black and white' type of proposed solutions, have not fit scenarios I've found myself in personally, nor my personal belief systems surrounding being agnostic and personal responsibility for ones actions.
Its all a bit frustrating, i guess. But i thank you so much for the opportunity to discuss this topic; it holda personal interest for me, based on my past struggles with my ex.
X Bella
