Who will YOU not invite (repost in part)

[reallyME]

Up on the screen in the front of church:

A lady says "I've finished setting my table...glasses, silver, plates, etc. There.  All ready for my guests now."  She looks at "me" from that scene and asks "I"m sure you know 5 people you would LOVE to invite to dinner at your table, right?  Maybe Theodore Roosevelt?  Oprah Winfrey?  some famous singer?  Someone well-known?  A favorite friend perhaps.  All of us can think of 5.

But it might be hard to admit that there are 5 people that you would NOT want to have at your table with you....."

Now, the scene changes a bit...people begin appearing and talking and disappearing one at a time slowly...here is how it went:

Person #1 appears:  a criminal:  The lady says:  "I know YOU!  I know the awful things you have done!  I don't want you here.  I can't feed you.  How could I feed you?  I don't know you and I don't want to know you.  No, you are not welcome at my table." 

criminal:  "is there room for ME at your table?"  (fades out)

Person #2 appears: a black youth: "I KNOW you don't like ME.  I'm not like you.  I'm different and you blame me for so much.  But I'm hungry.  Is there room for me?"

lady: "no, no I can't.  You blame ME...ya know, I'm NOT RESPONSIBLE for what happened to you in your past!  I wasn't even THERE when they enslaved your people!  No, I can't have you at my table." 

(black youth fades out)

Person #3 appears: older quiet lady:  "Am I welcome at your table?" 

lady:  "I can't have you be here at my table.  Why, you're so quiet, you never say anything.  It would be boring and there'd be NO conversation at dinner time. No, you aren't welcome.  There is no room for you here."  (fades out)

Person #4 appears:  young, beautiful model-type (similar to someone in my past):

model:  "May I come to your table?  Will you have me with you?  When I'm with you, you fade away and all eyes are on me.  I'm popular and you aren't, but can I have a place at your table?"

lady:  "You are just so pretty, successful, have money. I don't measure up to you.  I don't compare to you.  No I can't have you here with me at my table."  (fades out)

Person #5 appears:  lady's husband who has wounded her:  "Is there room for ME at your table?  Can I come to dinner?"

lady:  "No, how could I let YOU here? You of all people?  You hurt me, you betrayed me.  I trusted you and you turned against me and left me.  No, I can't have you here to dinner.  I can't even forgive you.  There is no place for you at my table."  (husband fades)

(now, lady stands there and says "I just couldn't have THEM here.  After all they did?  No, I can't invite them for dinner, but....well, I guess if "you" want to come (looks at audience), you are welcome...just RSVP first"  (to herself but out loud, "oh, I sure hope you don't actually come....but if you do, there's a place for you."

[Ami]

Dear Laura,
  I don't think that I would invite my M to the meal, I am "bad" for that b/c Jesus died for her ,too. OHHHH,a light bulb just went off for me. Thank you,Laura.
  You seem to be doing REALLY well. I am so,so happy about that. You deserve the best ,Laura
                                            Love  Ami

[cats paw]

Hi Laura and Ami,

   I read your first post on this, Laura, and it seemed you were talking about forgiveness, detachment, and love.

   Ami, you said a lightbulb went off for you.

   Would either of you talk a bit more about your thoughts on this, and perhaps your views on Christians, boundaries, and the relation to invitatation or non-invitation to one's table?

cats paw

[reallyME]

Forgiveness, Detatchment, Love

Well, first, my thoughts on forgiveness.  It's something that the other person does NOT DESERVE.  It's a choice to hold them NOT RESPONSIBLE for what they did, as far as OWING you.  They still are ACCOUNTABLE for the wrongdoing, as far as "yes I did hurt you that way and I was wrong to do that and I need help and will not do it again."  But, when you forgive, it means you are not going to take revenge, retaliate, continually throw it up in their face.

By reading my own definition of this, I can honestly tell you that I have come to a place that I have indeed forgiven my oppressors.

Now, Detatchment.  This means that you emotionally decide to pull back from a person.  It doesnt' mean you have to leave them physically, although sometimes that is necessary.  When I detatch, it means that I decide to let the other person OWN their own stuff.  If they are having a bad day, although I may feel sorry about that, I WILL NOT HAVE A BAD DAY TOO.  If they are angry at someone, that is THEIR ISSUE, not mine.  We all need to own our own stuff and not try to drag others into it.  This was why I said to let Dove speak when she came here.  She and the other people of my past, had a right to speak and use their voices, whether it was to speak against me or not.  When I read what was written, I felt like I wanted to defend myself but then i thought, no, they let me have my voice and one of them even complimented me.  Actually one of them was a really good example to me...even though she didnt' choose to reconciile, she referred to me as an encourager.  That really blessed me to read that.  She is like that...she can be very good at noticing the giftedness in people.

As far as love I just want to encourage anyone interested to find a Bible and open it to 1 corinthians 13.  God says it better than I could even fathom.  HE IS LOVE

[cats paw]

Laura,

  Thanks for answering.  So- as far as boundaries, is detachment what constitutes boundaries for you?
 
   1 Corinthians 13 - I'll bet it holds the record for being read at weddings. Not read in it's entirety, though.  IMO, applying it in a daily
   walk can be difficult, because in some ways, we all speak as a child at times.

   I guess maybe, we also need to include ourselves at the table, as perhaps you meant , Ami ?

   Just a couple of ponderings.

cats paw

[Ami]

Dear Cat,
  You asked a HUGE question. I have been pondering it since I read it. My answer is that I have no right to judge my mother. I can remove myself from abuse,but I MUST jettison the judgement off my shoulders and on to her Maker. I have not been doing that and that is a big reason that I am still sick-- emotionally and physically.
 I heard a CD by Henry Wright. He has a book on the spiritual rots of disease. He says that the human being was not MADE  to be able to carry these negative "feelings". He calls them "sin".
  He says that the human body cannot carry fear,guilt,unforgivingness,bitterness, resentment etc   without breaking down. He says that we simply were not made to be vessels for these emotions.
 Well,I am guilty on every score b/c I carry them ALL.
  I am slowly getting a detachment from my M's tentacles. I feel a little loosening of them inside  me. It is only slight but, I think that in time, I will be free from her.It reminds me of Twiggy giving up the smoking
  My point is that as long as I am hating her,in any form, I am going against God's will. He told us to give all this pain to Him.
  That is my point. I understand it,in the head. However,I am not there in the heart. But,I am trying
                                    Love Ami