I agree Lupita you are accurate like a laser beam. ANd I agree w/ Ami that you have suffered severely and yet you clearly have shown so much perseverance power. Anyone with an MD has proven themselves rugged and determined and focused imo.
In my case my dad trashed my intellectual power - he made me a clown, a fool, a girl but, like, a silly girl, toy, servant, object. I'm really just as messed up as ever, about that.

With regard to Ami's earlier question to me - how did I get into this phase of 'selfishness?' Crisis with work and friends - the unrestrained giving - disaster for me - friends who used me and did not at all respect me - so blatant it's shameful, exhausting myself for a job that is always about others and offers no advancement at all, seeing how I was giving everything away and abasing myself even when it wasn't pressured out of me - just all the time. Then I kept having these dreams where there would be a wonderful buffet but I was being kept from eating like others, or would have to put down my plate, or the chef would make special things for me but they would be stolen or I would feel compelled to give them away - lol - hint hint from the subconscious.
I have not solved these issues, but I felt I needed to do things differently to even begin to address the problems. I do want to contribute to charity and do service in the future, but I really need to gain some clarity first. I need to learn how to stop people from using me, but also how to actually follow my own interests and advance them. I am starting from absolute SCRATCH. I didn't even know how to say what my interests were/are much less follow and advance them. So pathetic.
But got to start somewhere.