letters

[Lupita]

It is 2:00 in the morning. I cant sleep. What am I going to do?

[lighter]

So sorry you had to be alone during that time.

I used to write and write and write and work on stuff that helped me.

You could also put in movies you've wanted to see and work on something creative or read.

Make a nice cup of Sleepy Time Chammomile Tea and snuggle up with a great book?

Hope for sleep but enjoy the up time as much as you can?

You should be exhausted tonight and pass out early.... that's been my experience when I couldn't sleep.

I know the struggle you're feeling..... and it won't pass quickly..... but it will pass.

Keep that in mind, if you can.  It's going to be ok, eventually, Lupita. 

Just remain righteous and don't let them see you sweat.

[Lupita]

Well, today was planning day for end of the first quarter grades. peaceful day. God will protect me on Monday.

[Lupita]

I was sitting with some teachers at the faculty meeting. One was drinking tea. Since they did not let me participate in their conversation I abruptly said to the one that was drinking tea, do you know that if you drink tea regularly you have less chances to have osteoporosis in your old age? She asked me again what and then repeated my question as if she did not have any idea of what I was saying but then she understood and said another comment and the others said another comment and I started a conversation topic in which I was included. The problem is that there was one teacher who is a suck up to Dr. U and she will use that to support him in his discrimination of my accent.
So, I have to say, please God, help me, because I am among enemies. I am being attacked.
Only God can help me. And I have to smile and and pretend.

[changing]

Hi Lupita-

A ladies tea party! Great! You are retraining the birdbrains!!! I don't think your accent was the reason they asked you to repeat yourself- your intelligent repartee probably woke them up!!! Now rest and have a fun weekend, with time for meditation and quiet relaxation as well.
By the way, your "accent" is one of the many reasons that you are a superb language teacher- the nuances of the native speaker cannot be bought or book-learned!!

Love and Peace,

Changing

[Ami]

Dear Lupita,
  Just saying,"Hello.". I am thinking of you and am so very,very  sorry that that boss does not appreciate you.
  It is so unfair to be targeted that way--especially at a Christian school.
     ((((((((((((((((Lupita)))))))))))))))))))))))).              Sending love and hugs,  Ami

[Leah]

Dear ((((((( Lupita )))))))

Have been reading through your posts, and please know that you truly have my genuine empathy.

(a few years ago I too was in a similar situation and really do know how it feels)

Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Today, I was reading my pretty little devotions book "A Path of Peace and Joy"

and turned to the section entitled 'Protection'

................ In  Difficult Times:

... 'Our paths all wind through dark gorges and dangerous valleys at times; places where we cannot see or hear God.  We all have times of crisis, when it feels as if God is far away, as if He is not the loving God to whom we are accustomed.

God's children are not exempt from hardship, but we do have His promise that He will be with us in times of crisis, suffering and sadness.'

2 Sam. 22:29-30  "You are a lamp, O Lord; the LORD turns my darkness into light.  With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall."

Psalm 33:20-22  "We wait in hope for the LORD; He is our help and our shield.  In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His holy name.  May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you. 


Truly, it is absolutely wonderful to see all the love and support here on board, from your friends, just for you, dear Lupita, as you stand upright amongst friends who care so much about you.

Weather permitting, this weekend, I encourage you to get out into the fresh air, and enjoy some refreshing gentle walks.

Love and hugs,

Leah



 "When I am afraid, I will trust in you.

  In God, whose word I praise,
     
        in God I trust; I will not be afraid.

  What can mortal man do to me?"


                  Psalm 56:3-4

[Lupita]

Thank you friends. Still, I have no idea what did I do. I was thinking that it is the anttention of Mr. V, my ex boss what made his wife and doughters angry, or my new boss racism, or a combination of both. I think it is a combination of both. But I did not do anything wrong. I am tired of this "Christian" people. I am sick and weak and they are revictimizing the victim. I am a victim again. God knows that I did not do anything wrong. When is God going to give me a brake? I guess I have the brake right now during weekend. I whoudl be cleaning my apartment. i cant. Dont have the energy.

[Leah]

Thank you friends. Still, I have no idea what did I do. I was thinking that it is the anttention of Mr. V, my ex boss what made his wife and doughters angry, or my new boss racism, or a combination of both. I think it is a combination of both. But I did not do anything wrong. I am tired of this "Christian" people. I am sick and weak and they are revictimizing the victim. I am a victim again. God knows that I did not do anything wrong. When is God going to give me a brake? I guess I have the brake right now during weekend. I whoudl be cleaning my apartment. i cant. Dont have the energy.

Dear Lupita,

I go to a garage to have my car repaired - but that does not make me a mechanic!

Likewise, anyone can walk into and become seated in a Church building - but that does not make them a Christian!


Remember, the Apostle Paul taught on the 2 types of 'Christian'

One is a 'Nominal' Christian - who is a 'Carnally minded' Christian, walking after their own flesh.  Which means, that sadly, the nominal carnal Christian prefers to walk according to their own way - sadly, not God's way.

The other is a 'Spiritual' Christian - who perseveres each day, in walking according to Christ's teaching, following Him as a disciple, in the truth of God's Word.

We are not to judge either type of Christian, but, we are to discern (Hebrews 5:14).

Seeking Godly wisdom and discernment in our daily prayers helps us to walk daily in His way - and not in our own way.

Also. praying on the Armour of God each day, in our daily prayers, helps us stand upright and strong.

Believe me, you have my heartfelt empathy, and are in my thoughts and prayers, as some Christians can test the patience of any saint!

Personally, daily, I work out my own salvation with the hope of being found walking in Christ (He is the way, the truth and the life).

Pressing on towards the mark, running the race that is set before me, on my journey of faith, with God's grace.

The short book of Philippians is so encouraging and helpful, especially chapter 3.

Love & Hugs,

Leah

[lighter]

Lupita, you could lay around and watch tv all weekend.... it might recharge your batteries.

I do hope that you have the energy to at least brush and floss your teeth but hey....

sometimes reallyreally down time is called for, then you get back up.

If the apartment doesn't get cleaned.... ::shrug::

So what?

But keep this in mind..... if you just force yourself up, go for a walk, workout, clean the sink and toilet in the bathroom and floss really well...... it'll prolly lead to some good feelings and energy you didn't have before.

One good feeling leads to another, when we're feeling so down we can't function.

If you can just manage that first positive action, it might break the funk you're in.

If not...... try to enjoy your down time, sans guilt, and regain some strength for Monday: )

All Christians don't suck. 

It's people, in every walk of life, that fail and struggle.  No matter where they come from.

And one more thing...... (((((Lupita))))) 

[Ami]

My son went to a Catholic School.I never saw  so many bullies or stealing in any public  or private school(IME--only)
 They could not even leave their books on their desk and go to the bathroom or s/one would steal their books.
 It was the worst school ( for "morals" ) that I have ever seen---public or private.It was eat or be eaten.
 The football team bullied one kid and my S said that it was so horrible. My S stood by( he was a freshman) and seniors were bullying the kid. My S was traumatized by being in the group that stood by.
  I am glad  that there is an ultimate Judge. I know that your boss will not be happy when he has to answer for how he treated you-- a precious person who did not hurt anyone.          Love  Ami

((((((((((((((((Lupita))))))))))))))))))))))))0

[changing]

Hi Lupita-

You did it!!! You have remained a lady, above all of the pathetic evil of the week! Now it is your time- no one can judge you! Put the birdbrains out of your mind for the time being.Take the precious days of freedom and peace, and do whatever you wish, whatever you need and want to do for your own fortification- you have earned it!!!
We are on your side, and want you to prevail and be happy and fulfilled.

Love and Peace and Success,

Changing

[Leah]

Dear ((((( Lupita )))))

Remembering when you joined us here on board, back in February, and had to endure much till the end of the school year.

Now it would seem that the endurance level has increased starting with this new school year.

You have the kind offer of counselling sessions to look forward to - which is a wonderful way of openly sharing your experiences and thoughts with someone - on a face-to-face basis.

Any idea when your 1st counselling session will be?

Take gentle care of yourself, however you decide to spend your weekend.

Love & Hugs,

Leah
 

[Lupita]

Here I go again. I went to a womens reunion of the church where I became a member, (my school). I get there and I do not know who is a friend and who is an enemy, I do not know who likes me and who does not. I does not matter. Who cares. I should not care who likes me and who does not. I have to like my self. I donot. And when somebody likes me I think tha they are inferior. Probably beause if I am nothing and they like me they must be inferior.
I had a nightmare there at the womens reunion. Just fearing, suffering. I saw the accountant's wife giving a check to the bible teacher's wife and she open her eyes when she saw it and she said thank you thank you. They live in a good good house, both work and still recieve more money. i am in terrible debt for the insurance they give me, pay me very little salary and they donot give me anything. i was green green greeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. Please God forgive me.
I do not want to be jealous. My son came home yesterday to visit and he took my storm search plug and he did not bring it back. Nobody respects me. I am nothing. I donot exist.
Mr. V insinuated that I am not a good teacher. He did not sya that, he said that teaching is a gift and I might be gfted for something different. What did he mean? I did not ask him at that moment. I can no go and asking three days later.
Why do I need him to say that I am a good teacher? I know I am a hell of a good teacher. But he always leaves me with a doubt he never gives me validation. The difference with Dr. U is that Dr. U always sais something negative.
Why do I need them to tell me that I am good?
They have not fired me yet. So, why do I need to hear that I am good? Why do I get green when I hear that they are praising constantly other people that they give them money and they are as good as me?
Who cares????????????
Tha F***k with them. I do not need them. I do not need anybody. Anybody!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Ami]

Anger is good.,Lupita,You have every right to be angry at the school and all the other people who have hurt you. EVERY RIGHT.
   Anger will protect you better than fear or sadness.I wish that I could send you a big,strong guy like my former cop b/f. He would have them all "bowing" to you. That is what you need- -- a bigger dog.
I wish that I could help you.I am so sorry. None of it is your fault. Your job is only to see and realize your own value(How easy to say and how hard to do--huh)  Love  Ami


(((((((((((((((((Lupita)))))))))))))))))))0