Janet-you are so right! My brother is the Golden Child. I feel so sorry for him, because he just cannot get out from under my mother's thumb. She controls his entire life, even his money. He's almost 30! I never thought about it the way you said, but your assessment is spot on. Whew! I'm so glad that I escaped that role.
CB-you are right about the difficulty separating. My mother's narcissism was at its worst right around my 16th birthday, when she realized that I was becoming an adult. The thought of me leaving her and being independent was not acceptable to her. In April of my senior year of high school, I got fed up with her controlling me. I skipped school, and moved out into my own apartment while she was at work. I didn't speak to her for a year after that, and I was doing fine. But then she called me and actually said she was sorry, which she had never, ever done before. I felt so guilty that I let her back in my life. Unfortunately, it was all lies. She hadn't changed at all, and things went right back to the way they always were. ***sigh***I feel like my relationship with her has been more like a battle that I never seem to win. How sad.
Anyway, off to the library. I reserved all the books about narcissism that they had. I'm hoping they will help me understand better.
Thanks for the insight! Hope you're all doing well today.
Love,
Heather
