Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Nice Narcissist?
Anonymous:
Sjkravill, this is a really good description of the crazy-making experience of relating to a "nice," "well-intentioned" N. I saw a lot of myself in it. Thanks.
Morgan
write:
it's our reception of what people deal out....
Those of us who were raised by mentally ill/ addicts/ personality-disordered see abuse long after others who would not tolerate such behaviour.
Narcissists TAKE from others. Physically, emotionally, spiritually....Inevitably. Destructably. Without remorse or understanding.
Nice narcissists? Probably not, except as an image we want to believe in.
Anonymous:
--- Quote from: write ---Nice narcissists? Probably not, except as an image we want to believe in.
--- End quote ---
I believe there are nice narcissists. Some Ns are far less destructive than others. Many Ns can be quite generous, helpful, sweet, etc., when they are in a benevolent mood. However, it helps to be honest with ourselves about the N. If they're sweet sometimes, it doesn't erase the other stuff.
bunny
Anonymous:
Hi everybody,
Great thread! Maybe a better definition of covert N is the well-behaved N. My Ndad can be very nice and generous--on his terms. You cannot ask for anything or you are "spoiled" or "selfish". So you get what you get and you better be damned grateful and thankful. He'll spend some time with you...doing what he wants to do. He really lacks the ability to enter someone else's world on their terms. Cannot lend a helping hand that really helps.
Pfuetze: your mom probably treated you like a doll without feelings. My NSIL was pretty obvious in the way she would show off her kids like teddy bears or dolls to friends and then put them back on a shelf when she was done and no outsiders were watching. It was like the Twilight Zone to watch her do it. One site that might help you get a handle on "nice" controllers is controllingparents.com.
I sometimes see myself in smothery parent. Ew.
Nada:
Hi All,
Just wanted to pop in and say GREAT POST. It says many of the things I cannot voice atm, but validates what I am continually trying to deny lately. Also wanted to thank you all for the board, it helps knowing I am not alone in this world as I thought I was.... :?
Nada
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