Prayers please - my Dad is in hospital

[JanetLG]

I've just had a phone call from my Dad's 'ladyfriend', Christine, to say that my Dad has been taken into hospital, but they're not sure what is wrong. He has stomach pains, and they think it might be something to do wth his pancreas. My Dad is 79, and he's the only relative that I speak to. He got divorced from my NMum about 10 years ago, after putting up with her for 37 years, so the man deserves a medal. I live 300 miles from him, so I can't easily visit. But what is freaking me out is that I'm too terrified to visit, even if I could, because of the fear that I'd bump into the NMum or Nsister at the hospital. I am so angry that at this point in his life, I still feel controlled by the N's. Christine has tried to get information from the hospital, but they won't tell her much, because she's 'just a friend', but they WILL discuss it with my NMum - isn't that crazy? They've been divorced for years, but she still gets to come first. Christine doesn't really understand the situation, because she said to me 'I don't know much, but I'm sure if you speak to one of the family, they'll be able to tell you'. Hmmm. Don't think so, but then, I can't bring myself to contact anyone, and that makes me feel so guilty, too. I'll have to wait till the morning to phone the hospital (it's midnight here).

I could do with some prayer support please.


Janet

[finding peace]

((((((((((((((((((((((((Janet and Dad))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Hang in there Janet.  The waiting is the hardest. 

You and your father are in my prayers.


Peace

[Leah]

Rest Assured (((((( Janet ))))))

Will be praying tonight and in the morning for your (((((( Dad ))))))

and for you too dear friend.

Love & Hugs to you

Leah

[Certain Hope]

You're in my prayers, Janet... and your Dad, too.

Carolyn

[Ami]

Dear Janet,
  I think that you have a good group on the board --praying.I will be praying .You can be sure of that --for you and your father.

                          Love    Ami

(((((((((((((((((Janet, Dad)))))))))))))))))))))))

[Bella_French]

Dear Janet,

I am so sorry to hear that your Dad is in hospital! I hope that he will be ok and that he's not in too much pain right now. At least he's being taken good care of and he'll have the best of care, whatever is wrong.

Thats absolutely outrageous that they won't give Christine detailed news but they will give the details to his long-time ex wife! I just can't understand that all. I really hope that you can get the news you need to hear, and that it will be good news.

Love and hugs!

X Bella

[Overcomer]

Janet:  My prayers are with you and your dad.......I think you should go.  Who cares about your mom and sister.  It is your dad that counts.  If you can psych yourself before you arrive to focus on your dad and HIS needs and do not allow those women to yank your chain!!  But only you know the true dynamics that you will have to deal with.  Only you know if it is safe enough.  But if your father divorced your nmom, why would she go???

Oh well, do not think you need to answer these questions.  I just want you to do what you feel comfortable with!!

With love and prayers (and a computer!!)  Kelly

[changing]

My Dear and Inspiring Friend Janet-

I am so sorry about the health crisis of your father, and the heart-wrenching drama surrounding it. I had a similar situation with my father- his wife had parked him in a truly vile facility despite his wealth, and rarely came to visit. I came daily and brought basic items, etc (she hadn't even given him any clothes whatsoever!!!!) I also tried to see what I could do, but his power of attorney , etc limited me severely- it is so hard to get your mind around these things, and so hard to keep one's dignity when having to deal with enemies who are in power. I just did the best I could (I am sure that I failed many times)  and ignored the Stepmonster as much as possible, and concentrated on the comfort and wellbeing of my father in his last days, and I am glad I did. Despite everything my heart is at peace about the situation.

Janet, I hope that you can bring someone with you when you visit until you can apprise the situation. In this way you may be shielded from much of the crazymaking N behavior of your family. If not, please take me in your heart with you. Give your father the love and attention that he needs, and ignore any hurtful speech or acts by your family. I wish I could be there- I would guard you like a madwoman!!!

You and your father are going on the prayer list at church Janet. Be strong and do what you know is right in love- as for the rest of the lot, ignore them as much as possible.

I will be praying.

Your Friend,

Changing

[Ami]

Dear Changing,
  You have such a comforting way of saying things.I am sure that your post really helped Janet.I remember how well Bone's friend did when you put him on the prayer list. That was the first thing that I thought of when Janet told me about her Dad.                Love  Ami

[Hopalong]

Love and strength and comfort to you Janet,
peace and good doctors and kind caring helpers for your Dad
and no fear for you, no fear.
Their games aren't strong enough to scare you
when you reach your Dad's side, your love
is bigger

lots of love, I'm so sorry...

Hops

[teartracks]

Dear Janet,

I send my best, which is so not sufficient to give you much comfort.  I hope for all the magic needed to help you avoid bumping into the N's.  I hope things are such that you can spend time with Dad, talking about the things you both enjoy.

tt

[JanetLG]

Thank you so much to everybody.

I have managed to phone the ward that my dad is on, this morning, and to find out what is happening. Apparently, he collapsed at his flat on Wednesday, but as it's sheltered accomodation, he could pulll the emergency cord, and people got to him quickly. He's been taken to a hospital that is brand new - it wasn't built when I used to live in the area (I live 300 miles away, now), so it's got all 'state of the art' stuff.

The nurse responsible for him told me that he's got pancreatitis (not surprising, as he's been alcoholic for about 40 years), but they're going to do a scan today to be sure. They expect him to be in for about a week. I explained a bit about the 'family wars' that mean that if anything happens to him, the 'nominated next of kin' (my NMum, I think) would probably not tell me, so she's made a note on his case notes that I'm to be told separately, which makes me  feel a lot better. All the beds have their own 'entertainment centre' with phones, so she gave me the number of my dad, and I could phone him straight after talking to her. He sounded tired but OK. It's good that I can ring him whenever I want (not just going through the nurses), and he can ring me. He doesn't want me to visit, as it's a long way and he doesn't feel too bad now, but he's got other people to visit him, and now I can phone him, I can do that a lot instead, and not come up against the N's. I've calmed down a lot, now that I've spoken to him. I was getting completely out of it by about 3am last night.

You've no idea how helpful it was (maybe you have! ) to have this forum and the lovely people on it to support me. Even though my husband is great, and he's been giving me lots of cuddles, even he said last night 'you'll want to post on the forum about this, won't you?', because he knows how supportive you all are.

Thanks so much for your prayers.


Janet

[cats paw]

Janet,

  After reading this thread down to the end, and I felt much calmed when I read that you had spoken with him. It must feel good to be able to phone him directly.  Your husband - what a gem!

cats paw

[lighter]

So glad you got in touch with medical professionals yourself and can phone your dad direct.

That's exactly what you should do.... you're his daughter and have your own right to information and contact with him.

I hope he continues to get better, and removes your NM from his list of next of kin.

What a strange thing to do.... esp as it relates to his new lady friend.... it cuts her support out and invites your mother's nutsy behavior back in during time of crisis .

[Leah]

Dear Janet,

So very relieved for you that you have been able to speak directly with the nurse and gain reassurance that you will be contacted directly.  But of course, that most likely will be unnecessary - the hospital sounds wonderful, with it's state of the art 'entertainment' facility.

To be able to phone your Dad and speak to him must have given you such a sense of peace and calm.  So very pleased to hear about that and the fact that you can telephone him, and of course your Dad can telephone you too.  Wonderful stuff!

So today they are going to do the scan - presumably, you will be able to telephone later and find out how that went, and when the result of the scan will be made known.

Your husband is a lovely gem.

Thoughts and prayers for your Dad, and for you Janet.

Love, Leah