Yeah, btr4, just like my friend Bean said...your emotions are acceptable here and you will find people who genuinely care for you and want to help. I sure did. Many of us have.
Do not come down on yourself for having taken the N back, in hopes of change. I used to do that too, and, no doubt, might STILL be doing it, had they not let me know that they were DONE with me forever. As long as there was a glimmer of a chance that they wanted to work things out, my door was open. Since they publically announced that they wanted to cut me off entirely and had no intentions of ever rekindling things, I'm ok.
I can't say it enough, what a PULL these people seem to have on them for us. They just somehow possess some sort of extra charisma, mystery, intrigue about them, that we keep wondering if we cut them out of our lives, if we might miss one of the best things we could ever have. They are no dummies, know which buttons to push, know how to keep us wanting for me, and know how to utterly destroy us from the inside OUT.
My prayers are sooooooooo with you, betr!
Blessya and know that you are going to be ok now, no matter what, because you are no longer having to live life without people who believe you and understand and have been there and still are.
~Laura
