the friends thing

[Ami]

Dear Iphi,
  I was going to start a thread today about the topic of friends. Maria was over ,today. .She is a wonderful person. I can't say that my "problems " with the friendship are her. They are me. S/how when I am close to woman,I get "paralyzed" and exhausted.I become a wet noodle who can't think--bleh.
  I feel like I am in "slow motion"..
  I was discouraged,but obviously,it must be some response to "trauma" from my M. it is not "normal(lol)
  Finally,I said that I had to go and exercise b/c I just wanted to get away.
  I feel like I will be able to heal( at some point). It is only lies that I thought were true--either about myself or the world.After 16 miles on the exercise bike, I didn't care.                   Ami


(((((((((((((((((Iphi))))))))))))))))))))))
 

[lighter]

AHHH! I don't have enough time to read all the wonderful responses to your thread, Iphi!

I so understand about what you're saying.

I understood Izzy's first post, which is about as far as I got.

It's better to ask yourself..... what you're going to do.... instead of despairing, with these kinds of difficult feelings?

I've been trying to pull back, skip the despair and accept.

There's a switch in the brain that helps me skip the despair.... though I have the same feelings you do about friendships and socializing, I really do and have to be at one of the girl's schools for 4 hours this morning.

It's a problem.....

You need some perspective and less anxiety.  We don't have good relationships with the anxiety and I agree with Izzy, we think there's something about us that isn't fun or good, probably negative feelings we aren't happy with either...... and we run away, emotionally, if not physically.... which is a problem too. 


(((Iphi)))  Missed you Iph.  How the babby?