Today I will have energy and use it to the best of my ability

[Ami]

Totally off the subject-----Superfood can't be cooked --Hops.                           Ami

[lighter]

Pops:

She's sure her way is the best way.  She's rather single minded and one tracked.  It makes her a dynamo at getting stuff done.

It also makes her very limited in her conversations.  It's all details about every little decisions she's made or is making or may make and why she's making it on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on..... it goes and goes and goes.  I don't even have the energy to address everything and I certainly don't want to debate and lose or make it even worse. 

If I have to hear about her NANNY HOUSEKEEPER, that keeps her house EXACTLY like she does AND handles the children most of the day, so she doesn't have to see them hardly at all...... over and over and over again.... every day...... when I disagree with the entire concept... it's very difficult to express anything negative bc she's demanding that her decisions be complimented and she be awarded the WONDERFUL PERSON OF THE YEAR award, bc she really feels she deserves it.

She's doesn't invite discussion..... she invites validation.  Nothing else is allowed in and I'm sure we'd be going round and round if I suggested her PERFECT plan wasn't lookin too healthy.

Of course, when she's running around trying to press charges against the PERFECT NANNY HOUSEKEEPER for being a thief and criminal...... I don't hear the end of that either. 

The truth was, I stopped going round there when the entire non english speaking family moved into their house.  I left those little children with Criminals too. 

I thought it was a bad idea.  Apparently their mother and father couldn't see that, but I could. 

I do feel responsible.

I used to go over there every morning and bath my niece and feed her...... she was the most wonderful laughing child I've ever had the pleasure of caring for. 

At some point, of having crap stuffed in her face to keep her quiet, she stopped laughing. 

She became a huge problem and I didn't know enough about child discipline to help any of them.  That's one reason why I began researching it in earnest.  Everything they did was wrong wrong wrong but I didn't have the guts or the fact to back up my feelings. 

And so..... 'for the triumph of evil.... all that is necessary is for good men to do nothing.'  And I did nothing. I don't do enough now either. 

I'll just have to learn to live with that I guess. 

[Ami]

Dear Lighter,
  If you live near them--you could go everyday with a Superfood smoothie . Of course, this is only the nutritional part which is one tiny,tiny part of the picture--bleh.
  I can tell  that your niece is dying(emotionally) --one small step at a time.. I am so sorry,Lighter. I bet that she really loves you very much. S/times just observing a loving aunt can be life changing. It was for me.  Love  Ami                     ((((((((((((Lighter, niece))))))))))))))))))))

[Poppy Seed]

Lighter,

It sounds difficult.  It really does.  Especially because you care so much.  I appreciate that part of you.  If there was something that you should have done....but failed to do, then I hope you can forgive yourself.  And I am sure there are other ways for you to make a difference in this situation. 

Pops

[Poppy Seed]

Are the kids getting abused??? What am I missing here........

[lighter]

Poppy:  They were spanking her too hard too often for the wrong reasons.  It backfired.  It didn't make a dent.  The child would just smile and come give them a hug.

BAD mojo.

They don't spank anymore.... but she was pretty much allowed to run wild from then on.... bc it was easier for them.  She still takes the majority of the children's time from their parents.

If I ever tried to talk to my brother..... he just said his children were getting a better life than most and that was that. 

It's odd...... looking at something SO important and just letting it slide out of control..... like sand rushing through my fingers.

I had my own sand running through my fingers as well and there were times I asked to have my niece over and tried to teacher her basics but instead watched her bounce off the walls, eyes rolling around in her head, unable to focus on anything for any length of time.  My girls just followed and were pretty much amused, watching me try to get her to focus.  Must have been a gas to watch.

Heartbreaking.  I did what I could without creating a war.  It wasn't enough and the beat goes on. 

Not abused...... just in the middle of a crummy marriage with parents who see their own needs first. 

And with the childhood SIL had....... it's amazing she's as capable as she is.  Which is VERY capable.  Just not necessarily on top of everything she's come up against.

[Hopalong]

Oh Lighter.
That is heartbreaking.

But can you invite her out?
Are you allowed to take your niece out?

Imagine what one outing a week with a loving aunt, who talks honestly to her, what a difference that could make in her life!

Hops

[lighter]

She wants to come and spend the night.... doesn't want to leave when she's here, though I think part of it is for her amusement value.

::Sigh:: I wish I wasn't starting out my day with this, slandering the LDS church AND the crummy meeting I had with the Charm group last night.

AND the water's off this morning..... construction bastards.

Just the dregs of the coffee pot......

::sliding down wall::  help help help

Just kidding.

Sort'a

[Hopalong]

You've lost your charm?

I still think you're charming...

((((Lighter))))

Hops

[Ami]

Dear Lighter,
  I am interested in the 'Charm School"(so to speak) and what happened there?                  Ami

[lighter]

Oh Hops, lol.....

Thanks for that assurance.

No doubt there will always be those negative people who miss the charm of a loudly blown raspberry.::nod::

; )

[changing]

Lighter-

I hope all that is troubling you goes more smoothy and works out. Thank you for the inspiration as far as using "executive ability" and getting things done. When I add that executive stuff of yours to Izzyfication techniques, things go so efficiently and well. You are the best! Hope everything goes your way for the rest of the day!

Love,

Changing

[lighter]

Ami:  We normally spend time getting to know members of our group.... share intimate stories of pain and strong feelings.....

Learn how to listen and speak with empathy.  

We're not supposed to stray into individual problem solving but we did last night and it was my favorite part of the evening.  I'm really interested in a couple members, in particular.  

I digress....

we also:

Strengthen our core beliefs about ourselves so we can be comfortable in our skins and help others feel comfort too.  ::nod::

I guess you could call it a journey out of co dependancy, though they haven't framed it that way quite.

Last night.... however, I really should have left before the meeting got started. 

Too bad they were serving yummie turkey and dressing comfort food... YUH.. meeeeee!

It was gooooood too: )

[towrite]

L - I share your energy and am sending you some of mine as I am having an up day also.

On to the list!

[lighter]

Thanks Changing and towrite:

I actually had a stall on energy yesterday.... out of the blue... unexpected.

I am picking my car up today, though.

Good news, the battery was too small

Much less expensive than the ignition problem I thought it was gonna be.