Can you believe this?

[isittoolate]

Here’s one for you!

I don’t talk about God and Jesus. I keep my feelings mostly to myself, because like other things, I’m not sure I am right!

I believe God planned that accident for me.

On June 6/69 I had $17.00, $5 was in my purse, $5 was in my jewelery box and $2 was in the bank. My bills were paid and no money until my pay on the 15th.

I was injured on the 7th. I had an out of body experience heading upward to the southwest, then reversed to be back in my body.

He was charged in Provincial court, found guilty of dangerous driving  and I sued him.

I had but high school education and an office job, raising a child with no support.  Sometimes I feared to look ahead to the future, and in this case the job went computer after I left. I was not into computers yet. I would have been jobless, but putting that aside, that kind of life would make everything more difficult for my daughter and me as the years went by.

I didn’t even think of suing--it never entered my mind, until someone mentioned it. So I hired a lawyer and files a claim.

I received my money on my daughter’s 7th birthday, 1971.

I invested it. In 1972 I bought a house (good investment) and paid it off in 5 years when some of my investments came due. I sold it in 1984 for over 3x what I paid for it and went into a ‘mortgage lending state’ with the help of my lawyer, and loaned out money, interest being something like 15% then. I lived on the interest. Daughter married that year(‘84)

I didn’t waste it. I bought a new car every 10 years. The one I have now, I love so much, I cannot imagine owning anything but a Chrysler Le Baron sports coupe--mine now being 17 years old.

I wonder where I would be if I hadn’t been cracked up. I was messed up and only office jobs on my mind/my experience.

Would I have become a Hooker? Drug dealer? A con artist? No. God did not want that for me and I have been very cautious with the money that I can still live on it, and I was able to provide for my daughter.

Anybody think I am nuts? Grasping at straws? Or can someone see why I think this way and have been therefore able to get thru’ by the skin of my teeth and the hair of my chinny chin chin, and prove to God that His decision was an okay one?

Oddly Izzy


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[Gaining Strength]

I think your perspective is tremendously healing.  I can hardly believe where you are today in contrast to where you were when you first logged on.  Could it be time for a new moniker?

I think your thoughts about God's plan for you are extraordinarily advanced - on a higher plane.  I so admire where you are today.  You are a true ______ ?????? something amazing.

your friend - Gaining Strength

[Overcomer]

iz-I always say that God works in mysterious ways and even though you would have never chosen your life God is able to make good out of it.  Even if your daughter and you have things to deal with you still are taken care of.  Amazing!

[Ami]

Izzy,
  Could you please tell us about your out of body experience,if you care to. I don't think that it--. is strange at all about your feelings that the accident happened for  a 'reason'-----not one bit.
  Also, I have seen a metamorphisis in you in the last few weeks. I noticed it before you even wrote this thread.     Love   Ami

PS---Sometimes ,you can" feel "a person's essence  more in cyberspace b/c there are no "distraction" like in the world.

[isittoolate]

Hi GS, Overcomer and Ami

Well 3 responses are 3 more than I expected. I do have to tell you that this is not all new, but how do you tell this to just anybody who won't call you crazy. God put you in a car accident? Well my other sister who had just one grade less than I in highschool, did office work and if she hadn't married twice, and been a bossy N, she wouldn't have anything. but she works, walking dogs, cleaning coittages,  cleaning homes....so I think..........I just think.

Al wasn't hurt. He had the steering wheel to hang onto, and altho' charged and lost his license for Canada, he was heading for Germany, Armed Forces. He had rented the car so Hertz had to pay the bill. So if it doesn't sound as tho' he was punished enough? Well with my feelling, if this was God's plan, then Al ought not be hurt.

This is not new to me I have thought about this for YEARS. I doubt I have ever mentioned it to anyone, for fear of ridicule---people thinking I am saying *I* deserved to be punished, but that's not it. It was hell but I am still here and can live.

GS, have you come up with a word for that blank line? What do you mean advanced, on a higher plane?

I agree that God works in mysterious ways---his wonders to perform. boy! He had me perform, but how will I ever know if this is right--it just makes terribly good sense to me and has for a long time.

I didin't get into this at the beginning--for fear of.....................something. But there are SO many facets to my life.

Ami
Maybe you see a change in me because I am getting more things off my back? and this?
The out of body experience. Well the 2:00 in the a.m. landscape was like this

I was gently lifted from the car to the median and knew my back was broken and awaiting the amulance.
when the sky turned pastel  and I turned into a twirling circle rising to the southwest but each light was like this

Each black stick had a twinkling light on the end and all sticks were joined in the middle. I kind of felt that each light was a different part of me as I am so convoluted. and the ball (me) spun and turned and spun.

It was so peaceful and without turning my head, I could see me lying on the ground and a blanket being put over me, and I thought, "Well at least I have double indemnity life insurance and a Guardian named for my daughter".

I didn't see a long corridor or a bright white light, but then maybe we disabled people turn and spin in by some other Gate.

So peaceful. not a worry. Then suddenly I was reversing and then felt myself back in my body and the dew on the grass, etc. I have no idea of the time taken.

God and I have our own little secret so I have my way of dealing..............................................

Did I never sound this way before?
Well best get the bad stuff out first, and as OC says....Even if your daughter and you have things to deal with you still are taken care of. 

You see Ami, I have been through all this crap in my head since I was a little girl and things just kept getting worse and worse and whodda thunk *I* would be in a car crash, and think God brought it to me. "Everything happens for a reason".  All things considered, no matter what I said about my family, they were NOT there for support.

HERE is where I have had support and no one hs laughed at me

Love

   

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[lighter]

Oh my, Izzy....

as pretty as you are..... as much as men want to own and control pretty women.....

You would have had the drama of office politics and relationships..... probably some bad relationships and maybe one great one with a very nice nurturing man who recognized a gem when he found one?

The bad men recognize a beach donkey when they see one.

 I do know that God works in mysterious ways..... and there seems to be a reason for everything, though it's never apparent early on.

I realize that didn't make much sense.... but it's what came to mind: /

[Leah]

Dear Izzy,

Firstly, I love the picture of Jesus in the clouds and have taken the liberty of a copy for my computer.  Thank you, hope that's ok.

Noticed the change, in you, immediately upon my return to the board a few weeks ago, with your clear expression of attainment;
having gained answers, knowledge and understanding.  Truly wonderful.

God does do things for a reason, and in particular, my anchor has always been that "God works all things together for the good", we don't always see the how and why until much later on.

And so, personally, truly, I do see why you think this way and have been therefore able to get through by the skin of your teeth and the hair of your 'chinny chin chin', and prove to God that His decision was an okay one - and I do truly understand.

For me, the fact that God knew us before we were even formed in the womb, and had set us aside for a purpose in life, his purpose, is absolutely wonderful to know and understand.

(the scripture I refer to is Jeremiah 1:5)

Tis' so very true that God works in mysterious ways - His wonders to perform.  And not ours.


What struck my heart is that you have been a 'good steward' with what God has given you.  That is what Jesus teaches us to do.


With regard to your out of body experience - that is not surprising to me at all for we are made up  of three parts; body, soul and spirit.

Did I never sound this way before?  Well best get the bad stuff out first

Likewise for me too, it is only now in the place where I stand today, that I can speak, have a voice, with clarity,
having the attainment of answers, knowledge and understanding. 

But this I can say with all honestly; that the place I stand today is by faith alone.

Much love,

Leah

[gratitude28]

Izzy,
I had a hard time accepting God for much of my life. Even now I wonder if I 'read into' situations. But I believe I became an alcoholic for a reason - that the low I went to was necessary for me to build my life and to be able to accept what I learned about my mother - or else I would have used the knowledge as a crutch to continue my selfish behavior. I also believe that I was fortunate to make it through so many spots in my life. Izzy, I don't know if what you believe is the truth, but I think it is reasonable to believe it was.
Love, Beth

[Ami]

Izzy,
  Do you have any fear of death-now?                                             Ami

[isittoolate]

No Ami, I don't

xx
Izzy

[Ami]

WOW Izzy. I am so impressed. I "should' have no fear of death but I do. I would love to give it up. Do you have fears in life?
  I heard a Bible teaching that if people could get rid of the fear of death, they could live a full, joyful life b/c the fear of death was really the glue that held every other fear ,in place. I might not be explaining myself very well. It said that all fears in life would go(irrational ones) once you got rid of the fear of death.
  What do you think?                     Ami

[isittoolate]

Hi Ami,
I already died once!

In the last 5 years since I left the N, I
...have tried my best to live within the limits of my capabilities, therefore no fears
...within those limits I have set up boundaries and try to remember to be assertive, so no one will cross them
...I  learned to 'set aside' the toxic people of my life and not let them in.
...i have accepted my fate for quite some years now, re this "can you believe this' post

Understanding the No Contact with the N was no problem, but I had not applied it to the others, which happened to be my family. They were the beginning of my disconnection from feelings. They are toxic in the fact that no support has ever been shown me in all my distorted life.

It has taken the last 2 of the 5 years to reach this point and I search regularly where there might be another problem to fix, or thoughts to be validated (this "can you believe this' post)

As I type this, it almost sounds like preparation for death, as I would like every earthly problem  under control, before I draw my last breath. No regrets!

Make any sense?
Izzy

EDIT I don't want to have to come back and do it right. I couldn't stand another lifetime on earth.

[lighter]

I agree with you Izzy.

I never wanted to come back and have another life on earth.

Death, for me, will be a welcomed rest.... peace and tranquility.

I don't fear it....

I fear having to come back again

[Ami]

Dear Izzy,
  What I meant is do you have irrational fears and worries like fear of illness, the dentist, being alone, feeling like you will be alone and not able to cope with some upsetting situation----those types of fears---not real concerns--which you expressed.
  Maybe ,I am not making myself clear.
  I feel very upset and worried about things happening that I will not be able to handle like illness ,accidents etc. I worry about them even if nothing has happened? Do you understand?                   Ami

[isittoolate]

lighter,

let's go hand in hand together!!

Love Izzy

ami

You didn't say irrational before......and no I don't have irrational fears. I have always taken things as they come and don't project into an terrible future.

Izzy