another song that makes ya think...

[reallyME]

WILLIE NELSON:

you were always on my mind

"maybe I didn't love you quite as much as I should have
maybe I didn't treat you quite as good as a I could have
Little things i should have said and done, I just never took the time
But you were always on my mind. You were always on my mind.

maybe I didn't hold you all those lonely lonely times
I guess I never told you, I'm so happy that you're mine.
If I made you feel lost and a mess, girl I'm sorry I was blind.
But you were always on my mind. You were always on my mind.


AS I READ THESE WORDS...it reminds me of an X in my life who, after she pulled people close to minister to them and then it got to be too much for her so she ran away from them, she always would say "just know that I am praying for you."

I remember thinking "what the heck good does that do for the person who grew close to you, came to trust you and rely on your help...to leave them and try to smooth it over with a "prayer bandaid."

When I tried to talk to this person about this, they just basically told me "well I feel bad and I'm sorry but it's all I can do."

UGH

In essence...........I know I didn't love you, tell you you were special, hold you, meet your needs, be your friend.............but, you were always on my mind and in my prayers (so that just makes everything OK now? NOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT)

[Ami]

You have a "gift" with the songs, Laura.
 I was thinking of one yesterday(a favorite--grimace)--it is Take a little Piece of my Heart--- what else?
  codependent.                               Ami

[reallyME]

ok how about this sweet one I've always loved but never really focused on the words of...WISE MEN SAY

the first part is ok:  wise men say only fools rush in (all of us need to remember this)
                            but I can't help falling in love with you (oh yes  you CAN)
                           shall I stay would it be a sin (depends what you do while you stay)
                           if I can't help falling in love with you

                           Like a river flows, surely to the sea, darling so it goes
                  some things were meant to be (only if those "things do not include abuse)

NOW THIS IS THE PART THAT GETS ME!

Take my hand
TAKE MY WHOLE LIFE TOO (you really want someone to take YOUR WHOLE LIFE???)
For I can't help falling in love with you (gosh this was one HELPLESS person here)

Ok people...LOVE IS A CHOICE. YOU CAN HELP IT.  A person does not FALL in love...it's not like it's a pile of dung that you FALL into.  Love is a CHOICE.  We CHOSE to get
close to our N's (unless they were our parents...no choice in that one)

We chose to STAY with them, right or wrong.
We chose to ENABLE some of them.

There is no "oops I did it again."  or "I can't help it"

Sorry, but those are cop-outs and N's LOVE IT when we believe the words of these stupid "love" songs, even though they were written to tug on our heartstrings...think think think..."oh please mr abuser, TAKE MY WHOLE LIFE!...while your at it, you can have my checking account money too!"

goodness!

~Laura

                         

[lighter]

ReallyME... it's OK for your friend to care about you in her own style of caring.

Her definition doesn't have to be the same as yours.

You may prefer she care for you in the way you desire but.... it's OK for her to care in the way she's comfortable.

You don't know what was going on in her life at the time, things change, people's tolerance for intimacy can change.

Some people reach out so much so often they have to take a break and recharge.