NH Bagworm Does It Again- Bleeh!

[changing]

Hi Lighter-

The first time that NH Bagworm was supposed to pick up his things amicably, he brought police, gave them a false story, and picked up guns that his psychiatrist had ordered kept from him. This was, to say the least, traumatic as the cops were acting strangely and threatened to arrest or shoot me! Investigators began prowling about the property, calling through the fence for the Bagworm, etc. at different hours of the day and night. Then his Moron Lawyer climbed my locked fence and screamed, violently banged on my door and windows, and tried to force my door open, in order to serve me with a summons for a bogus hearing and divorce. (Had I known that he was serving divorce papers I would have welcomed him and served tea and crumpets! However, he just screamed threats and tried to open my door)

These events cost me in time, money, and health that I could ill afford, and strained my ability to do my work in law school. After Bagworm and Moron were admonished on the day of the bogus emergency support hearing occasioned by false court filings, they stipulated that there would be no more of these incidents , and that a list would be given to my attorney of items to be picked up, and a confirmation of the date, etc as well. The list would preclude any weirdness that just looking about for whatever he fancied to take (Moron Lawyer's idea of picking up items) could provoke.Two days later after having made agreements not to call, show up, write his stupid letters demanding things, etc., the Bagworm showed up and tried to force me to sign documents giving up my rights to a car, etc New legal documents were drafted.

Then last Thursday, Bagworm and Moron were supposed to submit a list and confirm an appointment set for that night for Bagworm to get his things. No word came. Then unexpectedly, Bagworm came on Friday as I was leaving for a meeting with my lawyer. He left without incident, due at least in part to the presence of witnesses.

I dare not leave the gate open with his things there- he could allege that I disposed of them or some such thing, as is his pattern so far.  I don't feel good about him just coming by either, ever since the bogus police incident. I have to act in accordance with the requirements for his coming here if I am to protect the legal boundaries that are there, or receive new and better ones. He has been violent and threatened to kill me in the past and now he has guns- not a good combo. I do not want to write about some of the other items, as there are issues that may place me in jeopardy.

I will be getting recompense for the savings drained, but in the end, the costs in the interim may outweigh any court attempt at equalization. Also, Bagworm is apparently not paying his bills and I am afraid that I may be stuck with them.

It seems that Bagworm is intent upon violating agreements and using underhanded means to get his way and avoid all responsibility. He has been violent in the past and I did not report him, as he planned to have me arrested as well by lying and saying that I hit him also. After he left I tried to be civil and deal with him normally. This turned out to be a bad idea. I must keep whatever barriers I have intact, document everything, and not give the court any reason to doubt my sincerity in the matter, as the negotiations are going to get more intense and the stakes higher. BLEEH!

Anyway, I just have to keep on keeping on for a while longer, and I am making progress- in March I will be free of Bagworm and I won't look back!

Love,

Changing

[changing]

Hi Leah-

Thank you for your sweet message, and for your kindness, understanding and support throughout the progress of my ascent from N bondage! I pray that things just keep getting better and better for you- you deserve it!

Love,

Changing

[lighter]

Changing.... it always takes longer than you think it will. 

Don't get too attached to that March date..... so you aren't crestfallen if it moves back a bit. 

I'm guessing Bagworm told the police you'd threatened him and you had the guns so they were being very careful, indeed.

Now he has the guns..... is there something that can be done about that since his phsychiatrist said it's a bad idea AND he's threatened your life with them before?

I guess you'd do somehting, if you could. 

Very frustrating. 

Who will be there at the time BW comes to get his things?  Who makes sure he's behaving and leaving you alone?  Who makes sure his things ALLL get picked up so that part's over and done with?  Do you have to house his things indefinately and what happens if they get stolen before he gets over there?  WHat if HE steals them then claims you did soemthing with them? 

You just know he's going to claim all his stuff's not there or whatever he needs to do to cast himself as the victim again.  Did you take pictures of boxes contents or are you going to have them opened with BG picks them up and sign off on release....

or......

something?

So much exposure for those who play by the rules...... so little for those who don't: /

[mudpuppy]

Hi changing,

These people thrive on putting other people at risk while relying on the quiescence of others to have nothing at risk of their own.
Perhaps you should consider a civil suit seeking compensation for what he has cost you and for the pain he has intentionally inflicted on you. Until there is a cost to their behavior they will not alter it. You're already in court with the loon. At the very least it gives you leverage, and it might give you some small compensation for the harm he has done as well.

mud

[changing]

Hi Miss Lighter-


This parasitic Bagworm just won't go away nicely!
 
There will be a marshall on the property when he gets his stuff, which is why we required a confirmationof the appointment for pick up. The purpose of requiring a list sent through my lawyer is to preclude some of the problems inherent in dealing with the big fat liar- it is a final list, so no hunting and poking about, either. I will be videotaping as well. However, one cannot prevent him saying that I kept his Modigliani paintings or priceless jewelery, etc. I just have to deal with the mess in his wake until I am no longer legally required to fool with him. BLEEH. But there is some pleaseure in knowing that the goal is being Bagworm and Moron free!!! I have a fantasy that Bagworm will tire of these petty wars, but I realize that this is highly unlikeily unless he gets a J-O-B!

I am shooting for March as my release date- if it takes longer, then I will hang in and push the divorce along as I can. Since we don't have children, the stickiest wicket in divorce is not a factor. The pensions, house, 401 Ks and such are the real issues now. I want to be as safe as possible, do what I want to do without his dagburnned interference and try to move forward as much as I can with my own agenda while the divorce is going on, so no matter what, I am working toward better things!

Thank you for the heads up brainy Lighter-I wil try to make sure that I cover whatever chinks in my armor that I can!!!

Love,

Changing

[changing]

Hi Mud!

Thank you so much for your brilliant idea. I kept your earlier notion regarding hitting Ns continuously after winning a battle with them, etc, in mind after the hearing. When he showed up , called and such in violation of our stipulations and I had my lawyer go after him, and when I spoke with my lawyer and we devised our strategy, I was trying to accomplish the continuous slapdowns . Bagworm has been slapped down each time for every little thing- it may seem like overkill, but it was a way to document a pattern of behavior as well as to prevent my foe from gaining any advantage by virtue of his violations. Your concepts have been a great help, and I wasn't surprised or damaged by Bagworm's attempts at further violations- you had prepared me.

I have a few days until finals start at law school, so I will look seriously into this new subject of suing for reparations- sounds like a fun and effective method of pest eradication!!!

Thank you so much for your incredible help!!! I hope that you and your loved ones have a lovely Thanksgiving!!!

Changing

[mudpuppy]

it may seem like overkill

There is no such thing as overkill when fighting the undead.

sounds like a fun and effective method of pest eradication

Paying a lawyer is never fun but holding these creeps accountable, civilly, can be very effective.
They survive by intimidating, bullying and generally making others so miserable that they are never held accountable for their actions. I think it is a rare priveledge for one of their victims to be the first to enlighten them to the actual real world costs of their destructive behaviors.
If they weren't such ingrates they might consider thanking the person who so enlightens them, but I wouldn't advise holding your breath.

mud

[Iphi]

mudpuppy, have I ever mentioned how much I like the way you think?   

[changing]

Mud-

Iphi is so right (sees the truth in the big picture always)! I love the way your mind works, and appreciate your insight into the malelovent machinations of Ns- you have it down to a science!!! Thank you for your support in the battle!

I have been gathering documents, etc., in order to assess what I can do in regard to suing the Bagworm. I wonder if he will submit a lsit and confirmation this weekend to my lawyer?

Thank You Again and Best Wishes to Everyone for a Wonderful Thanksgiving,

Changing

[Ami]

Love You, Changing and Happy Thanksgiving to you ,too.                         Ami


(((((((((((((Changing))))))))))))))

[mudpuppy]

Iphi and changing,

I appreciate the compliments but I really only have two basic insights:

1) Ns are implacable and rigidly insecure.
2) Ns shrivel up and die in the light of the courtroom and its standards of evidence.

Most of my posts are just variations on those two themes.

mud

[Iphi]

Yo just because it is simple does not mean it is not brilliant, mudly.  Au contraire mon frere.  Happy turkey day!

[changing]

(((((Ami, Mud, Iphi)))))-

Ami, I see you on a stage- playing music or talking about your latest book. You have a gift for comfortimg and inspiring and sharing. Happy Thanksgiving!

Mud, your obvious knowledge and experience with Ns is very precious, and your generosity in giving that information to others coupled with a heartfelt support is unique and invaluable- I carry your illustrations in my head, ie hit em on the head with a mallet, etc-Unfortunately, though your wisdom seems simple and intuitive to you, I may well have doen the wrong thing, tried to see if Bagworm would learn, etc, instead of being on the ready for a slapdown- that would have been a mistake and resulted in another painful lesson for me! Thank you again, and I love the two main notions "Ns are implacable and rigidly insecure" and "Ns shrivel up and die in the light of the courtroom and its standards of evidence"- Good Lord, one could study just these truths for a lifetime!!!THANK YOU MUD!!!

Iphi, hope you have a happy holiday with your sweet family, and that you know how much you are valued and loved- you are really special Iphi- and you also know a lot about everything- you are so interesting and complex!!!

Love and Happy Thansgiving to All!!!

Changing

[Hopalong]

Changing,

You have such a very generous, genuine way of seeing and affirming each individual.

More than once your posts have lit my heart with some of what we all need like soul nutrition.

I just want to say how beautiful it is to read your posts.

hugs
Hops

[Ami]

I think that Changing can take lemons and make lemonaide.      Love  to you                  Ami