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Voluntary Simplicity stuff

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lighter:
Hops:

Just let the fear go and relax into acceptance of whatever it is you fear the most. 

Accept some seeds and seedlings will die. 

Accept you aren't going to DO the house stuff..... do it perfectly.... do it perfectly all the time, the way you feel you should, want to do it, HAVE to do it in order to feel OK.

Just..... accept it.  Let it go.  Turn to your senses in this moment and get very curious about what's going on.  Focus on it..... as a friend with good intentions. 

Drop the judgments.  I hear you and I hear judgment about yourself.  It's painful to read, bc you deserve your own deep, consistent compassion.  You have it for others on the board.  You're so deserving of it, yourself.

And breathe.

If I sound trite... apologies all around.

But find some focus for the shapes, colors,  and sounds around you.  I know you're aware of how to do this.  I remember reading this advice from you.... yeeeeeaaaars ago.  It was about going outdoors, and focusing on trees, bark.... grass.  You shared this with me.  It helped a little, but I didn't understand why it helped.  It's profoundly changed my life. 

Just a gentle reminder, bc breathing is easier than going round and round with unkind thoughts about ourselves, IME. 

Lighter

CB123:
What Lighter said.

CB

Hopalong:
Thanks, guys. Those posts really helped. Not in gear yet, but trying to put the unkind-to-self stuff in a NON-transparent box!

Lighter, your gentle guide to creating gentle emotional space around this was wonderful. Thank you.

CB, knowing you get it was too. Quarantine really does leave one home alone with one's excuses or lack of them. That's right. And inertia is the exact right word. My mean inner voice would call it laziness, but inertia has more dignity.

Young hired friend came yesterday and did three hours of weeding and tidying out back which really helped. He needs very detailed instructions but works hard. So now if I can kneel on a pad just a few minutes at a time, I should be able to stay on top of it. There are spaces to plant new things, too (or maybe some of his weeding was accidentally over-thorough).

Today my goal is to plant things in planters on the patio and out front. We'll see. Knee isn't great but I'm gonna do SOMETHING. Plus, look at so many trees and watch the birds.

hugs
Hops

lighter:
Hops:

I'm glad you're in the sun, planting and moving. 

Maybe inertia acts like a riptide in our lives. 

We have the choice to struggle, flail and judge ourselves and the tide, or....
rest.

Gather strength and be ready when the riptide releases it's grip.

Maybe staying curious and nonjudgmental means fewer riptides... shorter riptides.
Lighter

Meh:
I was not in control of the mental clutter. Some of the mental clutter is extremely important, WAY too important to ignore, but it deserves its own time and space. Sometimes thoughts and feelings want to spring up on their own, but I'm having such a mish-mash of stuff filling my head.

I want a type of psychological simplicity of thought. I have to be careful of what I allow myself to think about and for how long and when. It's almost like I need to save the important stuff for the weekend, which is nuts.

I have clutter because my space is small, and I'm a bit of a slob. I haven't been consuming anything at all but food and basics. Spending doesn't mean much to me now, and neither does shopping as the only thing I've bought is food and books. My relationship to the earth is mainly that I look at it, but I do NOTHING FOR IT. Then again, I own no patch of it. The earth goes to the highest bidder as far as I can tell, she is like a whore. I'm not too fond of lawns. I'm not sure what enough is because I'm pretty lonely at the moment and don't feel content. We own our stuff yes because we can violently punish others for taking it and argue that the violence is justified. I can throw most of my stuff away without too much agony, so it doesn't own me no. Time is a real problem for me, and I'm not managing it too well. I've got unexpected seepage in my thoughts.

I'm just going to say it, wrong or right. I resent the fact that some people are in quarantine with their lovers the people they are fucking. Okay I said it. Strike me down Jesus. -- Because how bad can quarantine be if one is at least getting some good sex. How can they even whine about it.

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