Dear Hops,
I appreciate so much all the wisdom you have shown me. I just want to say that when person has a deep "self loathing' from a "survival skill' mechanism kicking in--the self loathing is NOT at the conscious level.
IOW, I am very "surprised" that I have this level of self loathing.I "knew" that I wasn't "right",but I really had little self awareness of this layer of self rejection.I really didn't,.That is why it is so big to get to this core level.
You and I may disagree here,but I don't think that a person CAN heal from the outside unless they first heal the inside. Once the inside is healed(faced), then you can chose HOW you will behave and chose values. However,as long as you are a "closed ' book to your self,you are locked in darkness and self loathing ,forever. This is my opinion,only.I don't care to debate it. Just wanted to address that the "answer" is not simple about "Go, Do some activity", when you need to face the deep recesses of your psyche.(IME)
Love Ami