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Fundamentalist religious background

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Ellie:
I have seen some reference from other posters to parents telling them to pray about it...

I was raised in a fundamentalist religious household where everything revolved around church and bible.  I am the rebel and didn't buy into it enough according to my parents. No matter how involved in church I was, I was never good enough to go to heaven. They kept telling me they were still praying for my soul because I wasn't going to heaven if I didn't attend their church and think just like them.

I ended up teaching in church and a church-run school until I got thrown out because I would not bow down to their demands enough. I was never quite sure what would be enough, because I thought I was following all the rules and in my heart, I have a very deep seeded belief. Today I no longer believe in organized religions because of mistreatment.

I am wondering how many others find a pattern to the N behavior and the religious upbringing.

write:
you might find http://www.pressiechurch.org/Theol_2/narcissism_goes_to_church.htm interesting.

I personally believe it is misguided for anyone to tell another how to find god ( or other manifestation of spirituality ) or to claim there is any 'one true path' to enlightenment; there are potentially as many gods as there are people.

For a npd a church setting will offer many opportunities for grandiosity and pomposity, and who can argue with the argument 'God says...'

I turned against traditional religions many years ago, but found my own spirituality and a church where I can express it: Unitarian Universalism.

I'm sure strict religious upbringing often has a part in npd, religious parents can often be cold, unresponsive and narrow-minded, lacking compassion.

I've heard beliefs postulated by otherwise seemingly intelligent people that oral sex, masturbation and homosexuality are all sinful...because it's what they've been taught in church by someone who enjoys wielding power over people.

Anonymous:
I feel the same way. I was raised Catholic, but  in name only. Though I did go to classes on Saturdays, we went to Church, I was confirmed, etc. etc., none of that had any meaning when my parents were making complete asses of themselves. My mother is an N and my father is N and probably bi-polar as well. Now he has been "reborn" and has alienated his second wife by accusing her adult son of being gay even though he's married and isn't. He'll talk about how Jon is a sinner and his wife should know, never mind the fact that he has absolutely no proof of this other than "people at church tell him". He hasn't even been to church in over a year. His accusations are ludicrous. He used to make us sit an watch evangelists on tv in the morning, but would turn around and bash his own mother and children verbally. He loved scamming people out of money, especially his customers. He's a jerk in every sense of the word.

My Nmother has recently converted to Lutheran from Catholic and felt completely entitled to have the pastor give her a walk because she throws so many parties and functions for them. She's about as righteous as my idiot father. Her only reason for playing in church is to impress others.

I consider myself a spiritual person and am very happy with my beliefs and relationship with God. As far as organized religion goes, I'll be damned if I'm going to jump in the same boat as these two jokers.

Anonymous:
Greetings everyone,

Well, I have many responses to add here.  It's something I think about a lot.

First, let me tell you I am a PK (preacher's kid).  Now what does that tell you?  Either I am a full-on rebel who should be burned at the stake, or I am a completely brainwashed, braindead cult devotee.  I think I fell into the last category for the longest time, eating up everything I heard because I (still) am very idealistic by nature.  

But I now separate organized religion (a very human construct, and, I suppose, a necessary one for some) from spirituality.  I accept many people who are hypocrites as God's children too, who, like me, are doing the best they can.  I just don't hang out with them.  It is a very human thing to emphasize belonging over believing.  My simple way of rebelling is to "keep my eyes on the prize" that is, live by the principles that are taught in every major religion and actively keep a relationship going with spirit (God).  

Ellie, there is a book by a famous rabbi (Harold Ruskin?) entitled "How Good Do We Have to Be?"  The title alone helped me.  God doesn't insist on perfection.  I also find readings about the early church to be very enlightening and encouraging, since it was informal and was directed to the disenfranchised, not the entrenched Pharissees who wanted to run everything.  Sound familiar?  I also have trouble with church folks who issue orders vs. invitations.  So backward.  

Also for Ellie, you will find your observation about N in church validated by none other than M. Scott Peck in People of the Lie.  He finds that religion is a haven for Ns.  No one can argue with God.  There is also a terrific book called The Spirituality of Imperfection by the folks who started AA.  There is a phrase they use to keep perspective:  "not-God".  It's like they have to remind themselves actively that they are NOT GOD, they do NOT control everything and that's OK.  This is huge.  So I take it that being in a religious setting, it would be very easy to forget that one is a messenger or conduit for spirituality and not God Himself.  

Again I have to tell myself that I can't change this.  I can just focus on my own path to God.  Thanks for bringing up this meaty topic.  Seeker

Learning:

--- Quote ---There is a phrase they use to keep perspective: "not-God". It's like they have to remind themselves actively that they are NOT GOD, they do NOT control everything and that's OK.
--- End quote ---


Seeker, that is perfect.  It really sums it up.  I believe we are put here on earth to learn, therefore if we already knew everything...we wouldn't be here.

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