Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
May "the board" be with you
mighty mouse:
Ah My Canadian friend!!!
Pleased to meet an INFP such as yourself. Actually we abstract thinkers are usually attracted to one another.
Since my NPD sister is an INFP, I queried the board about that type being Ns. I thought maybe it had something to do with the sensitive nature. But I got a few replies that indicated Ns could probably be any type. All this time I had it in my head that my sister was the way she was because of her personality type......not a personality disorder! That's my only linkage and not very scientific of course.
Another site I went on mentioned they thought the extraverted types were more prone to be Ns, but I don't think so. People tend to confuse introversion as being interested in ideas and not people. But I think Keirsey got it right that it's actually the abstract thinkers that are that way regardless of being extroverted or introverted. I know many ISTJs and they are not necessarily inward looking people. But I do find them very nice. My H is ISTJ. And he keeps me from being so lawless. We NT types aren't known for following rules unless they make sense to us.
Although my Mom was an N to everyone, she did seem to favor me. Maybe because I didn't talk much as a kid (I was busy with my own little world) and I didn't talk back much. What she didn't know was what was in my head. The INTJ will pretty much not say anything to people who are irrational or don't make sense. We just store it in our little heads and don't take the person very seriously. I remember specific instances when my Mom said something pretty lame "you kids are just trying to bug me" -I just thought she was irrational.
But I am a very competent person and played a peacemaker role in the family (that should have been an NF role I think). The INTJs don't like fighting and emotional messiness (my parents fought a whole lot). And we like privacy as well. That family wore me out and messed up my world as we were always in a state of chaos. Even a calm rational can only take so much! We have feelings too....
I should have said we don't feel rejection acutely as much as know we are likely to be rejected (not really true for me anymore). I think rationals are about 5-6 % of the populace and people (except for the idealists) don't really dig us much.
I'm so excited to meet a really nice INFP. I wonder if your type had anything to do with why the beauty queen picked you to dump her Nness on? Have you wondered about this?
MM
mighty mouse:
Les(s),
You're not nipping the wine THIS afternoon are ya LOL? Just in a loosy, goosy mood? Good on ya mate.
MM
Less:
Nope -but I considered moving the 5 o'clock rule back a few hours today. Soooo, I believe you mentioned that you are uncannily intuitive about people sometimes! Ahem! Spoooky. Convinced me. I was just being a bit of a "wag" as they say in Auz. Sometimes I manage to get the editor off my shoulder and then I DO feel like I've had a wee nip.
Now I'm going to go find a web site and bone up on personality types. Good question about N and dumping. I feel I was so sealed up as a child that I sometimes wonder if I might have been much more vibrant and outgoing with different parenting -well I guess the answer is yes - perhaps a whole different set of letters. You went from shy and quiet to, well, to feisty! I was the last born and most resembled my mother physically- feeding the emeshment problem I guess -To this day I get the feeling that she doesn't know that I am a separate individual. I guess as long as I know it...
"We just store it in our heads and don't take it very seriously" - god Iwish I'd known that not taking it seriously was an option. And yet she still made you crazy.
I'm also going to look at Amazon and order up some books -I've been noting what books other people mention. Any favourites? The language is so powerful. "N supply" you said. I feel so liberated when there is a name for these behaviours and ways of thinking. Les(s)
mighty mouse:
"We just store it in our heads and don't take it very seriously" - god Iwish I'd known that not taking it seriously was an option. And yet she still made you crazy.
In a word..yes. My thoughts weren't validated by anyone. Even when you know something on a rational level....you are still dealing with a parent. So you question yourself. And Ns are so crazymaking, they have a store of ammunition you can never match. And then there is the emotional component of needing love and approval.
I'm also going to look at Amazon and order up some books -I've been noting what books other people mention. Any favourites? The language is so powerful. "N supply" you said. I feel so liberated when there is a name for these behaviours and ways of thinking. Les(s)
For personality typing I like the book "Please Understand Me" by David Kiersey (not sure of the spelling of his name but that's close). And a book that Dr. Grossman recommended to me is "The Narcissistic Family" by the Pressmans (husband and wife team). There are other books as well. But I liked these two a lot.
And to answer another question, I do sleep between 2:00 am and about 9:00 or 10:00 am CST. I'm not so mighty I can go without my Zzzzs LOL.
MM
Less:
S'cuse the probing MM and just tell me to back off but are you close to any of your sibs? Do you talk about your childhood with any of them? I think everyone in my family just buried themselves as deep as they could but now as older adults surprising, validating things are being said. Less
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