Hi all:
Before Thanksgiving, I posted that I had received an e-mail from my evil Nsis which brought up all kinds of bad feelings. Occasionally, I would get one of these e-mails at the holidays from her in which she basically wants me to help her with something or give her gift ideas for my Nparents. I LOATHE these e-mails and want absolutely nothing to do with her.
Well, just thought I'd give an update. I never did open the e-mail. I just couldn't deal with it. My brother told me today that he spoke with my Nmom and that what she actually wrote in the e-mail was an invitation to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with her and my parents!!!! OH MY GOD!!! I just want to scream, "LEAVE ME ALONE!" She has destroyed my family and my parents allowed it and continue to allow it. The three of them (my Nsis, Nmom and co-D dad) would love nothing more than for me to accompany them on this contrived Christmas fiasco and thereby leave my brother by himself. My sister disowned him and his family and my parents always enabled and supported her.
Well, of course, I have no plans whatsoever to spend any holiday with my evil Nsis. I want nothing to do with her. But it makes me so ANGRY that she would have the gall to initiate this contact and try to manipulate me and put me in the middle. So now, I am put in the position of having to respond to an invitation that she had no right to make in the first place. So, I put together a short e-mail to her responding to the invitation. I told her I didn't get the e-mail until after the Thanksgiving holiday and that I was unsure of my plans at this point and that I had other things to focus on right now. I could not bring myself to thank her for the invitation or to send her holiday greetings because I know this would just be taken by her as a sign that she should keep contacting me and making these gestures. Unfortunately, my birthday is also in December and she, no doubt, will take this opportunity for another unwanted contact.
The audacity of Ns!!! After more than 10 years of no contact and a lifetime of heartache and abuse from her, she suddenly wants contact. In my opinion, one of the reasons she is doing this is, of course, selfishly motivated. My parents are getting on in years and my sister's lifelong boyfriend/partner has separated from her over the past year. THey are tentatively still together but I'm sure she's thinking if he walks away and if my parents pass, she will be left with no family. It is of course all her own doing, but nevertheless....
Ughhhhh!!! I hate, hate, hate, hate this. Unfortunately, because my unemployment status forces me right now to live with my Nparents, these kinds of initiatives from my Nsis are more difficult to deal with. They look at these little e-mails as HUGE gestures from my Nsister to reconcile. All they think about is my Nsis's happiness, not mine and certainly not my brothers.
At this point, I think I've decided to spend Christmas Eve with my brother and spend Christmas Day by myself as I did with Thanksgiving. I just can't stand this N drama......It is just too painful.
Sorry. Just had to vent.