And to top it all off my adult daughter of 25 stood up to my mother in December and since then had very bad insomnia in January and was hospitalized and then has since slipped into a delusional state where she imagines she has another life. My N mom doesn't know that our daughter is ill. She won't have that satisfaction. My heart is broken with the tragicness of my daughter's state.
My family has a complete fantasy existence, which I try not to get sucked into, but it is difficult. In this we are a happy, close knit family, superior to all other beings, of course, because of our lack of emotion, ability to deal with crises and toughness.
My mother is at the centre of it all, and is the primary N, but there is a lot of Nish behaviour around her. A large part of this is to do with photographs - my family seem obsessed with them, and in particular with pictures of the grandchildren. If I go to a family event I can guarantee there will be a camera for every male person there - my dad, my brothers, my uncles. Often I leave my camera at home, because it is all too much. Too much taking happy pictures of the happy family, to put onto disk and hand to one another. Yuck!!!!!!
I suspect the invitation is a similar kind of thing. Evidence of the happy family that you are cutting yourself away from. 'See what you are missing.' They are - in their terms - showing you what you are missing, but in reality they are saying, look how cosy it is to play happy families. Don't you really want to play any more?? See how much easier it is than facing reality.
I am really sorry about your daughter's illness. I think you are wise not to let your mother know. My mum is very pleased about illness of any kind, and latches on to people who are disadvantaged in any way, because it makes her feel very superior. Keep her away at all costs!!
Thinking of you and your daughter.
(((((((Flower))))))))
C
