Dear Jan,
It has taken my lifetime till now, along a similar painful journey, to unravel, resource and ascertain the truth behind my FOO behaviour.
My sister, as I discovered all to late, well the warning signs were not understood at that time, or where they? is a clone of my mother.
People who say "Forget it" or "Move on" may mean well, but, it's not that simple, nor is it healthy, as to do so would only serve to suppress what has been done and create a kind of oppression.
How are you finding your sessions with your counsellor? And your dear Son too.
I try so desperately to figure out where she gets all of this hatefulness from...Why she hates me so much and why she is willing to keep punishing our parents and hurting them over and over again.
My sister had stored up hate for years, simply because of me being me, there was no other reason, she spat out she hated my being nice and kind! With some unpleasant words included, with such venom, and exact same as my mother, historically.
Where I stand now, in my new pair of shoes, on the path of my life journey, serenity helps me enormously, as I accept that there is nothing, absolutely nothing, that I can do to bring about a change in the heart of any member of my FOO.
Greatly helps to write it all out here and I encourage you to do so, as and when you feel comfortable.
Jan, your priority right now is about you and your dear Son.
Love to you both.
Leah
