Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Names
Spirit:
Name and number for that matter.
I certainly didn't like the way my parents shortened the name. Especially my dad, he calls it in such a way.. it sounds feminine..that too in such a parental soothing voice.. just to make me feel belittled !
I gave myself a nickname when I was in 24, but on second thoughts I changed it to my original name... in FULL.. not hte way my paretns called.
And it is mine now.. and it is nice !
About number.. my Ndad was born on the 10th.. he wanted me to be born on the tenth.. he tried to delay my birth.. thankfully due to doctors intervention I was born on the 9th. He has even spelt my name so that it has 10 letters.. though the more popular way of spelling it has only 9 letters. He believes 10 or 1+0 = 1 is the perfect number and others fall short of it especially 9.. cos '9 is adament by nature' etc cos whatever happens it repeats itself. 9, 9x2 = 18, where the 1+8=9, then 9x3=27 2+7= 9 !
This 10 and 9 battle has gone too far. In football he prefers players with the numbr 10.. thinks they are the real stars etc..The guy feels so much about himself that he feels insecure if anyone wearing 9 outperforms the number 10 I think. But the funniest thing is he has embedded the feeling so much deep inside me that I am the opposite negative. ! and he has made it so conscious that I almost feel uneasy following any footballer who wears 10 or when my dads birthday turns up. Imagine Michael Owen scores a hatrick agains't germany.. and my bad feelings are triggered ! Even some of my compulsive behaviours are related cos of this I think :cry:
spirit
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---Does anyone else feel as if they don't have a name??
--- End quote ---
"Yes!"
I'm a male 6' tall Blond hair / blue eyes with a full blond beard. Not a wimp or prissy.
My name is a gender neutral name (Tracy). To this day people that I've known for years call me "Terry", "Stacy", "Travis" (It has to do with my last name). I've always hated my name. People can't seem to connect me with my name. People skirt around it and never call me anything or call me "Bud" "Buddy" or other pet names for the times you can't recall what a person's name is.
I used to go rounds with my parents on why they were so mean for naming me such a weak ass name for a guy. I was tortured by kids in grade school and up until High school because of this inappropiate moniker. I've had job interviews that have lasted only minutes cause once they see that I'm not what they expected.(I have a dibbly thingy as Portia and CG would say) On and on with the bad experiences.
I've talked to a lawyer about changing my name and have seriously considered it since my N parents aren't speaking to me anyway. I can't seem to come up with one. I about to hit the big 4 0 and I might just give myself a legally changed birthday present for myself.
Any suggestions out there?? ( I would love to hear what Portia, CG, Spirit, Gingerpeach, Dawning have to say!)
MrT
Anonymous:
Hiya all, hope you don't mind me breaking out of the ramble thread for a mo' to come and chat with you! :D
Gardener! thank you for your post, I loved it, 'your name is safe in their mouth', aren't kids great with their honesty and insight?
Mr T...well well. Now I have a good picture of you, how about the first name of Viking? You can use Vic too but spell it Vik in a really 'alternative' way?! You look like a Viking to me! :D Respect Mr T. What name would you like?
Was it Spirit with the numbers game? Spirit, 9 is my favourite number, 3x3, most solid, sturdy number there is, the trinity squared etc. Obviously any N can only have 1 because only 1 exists for real, all the other numbers are there to reflect the glory of 1 huh? :roll: Sad.
P
Portia:
sorry...that was me...but at least it gave me another look at Spirit's post. Spirit, this is wonderful!
--- Quote ---'9 is adament by nature'
--- End quote ---
yep, and why not hey? why not! Let's all be a little more adament for a change. Sheeeesh! What a quote. Real crazy but I understand it. 9 won't be controlled will it? It just does it's own weird thing without any regard for the wonderful wholeness of 1+0. And that's another point about 1 - it needs a zero to feel superior to! Gosh this is stupid but it makes such sense. Hope I'm not freaking anyone out here, not intended. I like numbers but it's best not to get OC about them....they occupy a different abstract part of the universe to us simple humans...just let them do their own thing Spirit, and don't give in to playing any numbers lottery games! Best, P aka S aka F
PS. Just to go back in to numbers....a little regression only, I promise, I was born on 12th...1+2=3 which leads me to ...no, I am stopping now. :D
Spirit:
Portia,
Your number theory really brought a big smile to my face. I wish someday someone would actually tell it to him point blank :D
The funny thing is whenever someone makes fun of any of his theories ( like the number theory ) , he gets a 'strange pain in his chest ' and he would rush to the kitchen where he stores his collection of tiny white pills and would take a few of them 'just in case' :roll: I somehow suspect that the homeopathy doctor who gave these small pills which dont have any side effects are just to keep my Ndad satisfied !
And btw.. when it comes to swallowing pills he takes an exception to his number theory.. he prefers 9 to 1 :lol:
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