Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Names
Spirit:
Hi MrT,
I too have considered it but not that seriously. You seem uncomfortable with it then go for it. Afterall it is your choice as to how you need to be called. About myself I didn't cos I felt a sense of nativity. My name was like my 'homeland' which was invaded, so I fought from outside to regain it and hoist my own flag there ( or here ) ! I have fought a battle and won my name from my parents ! Having said that changing names is also winning that battle, just different tactics. Ultimately feeling belonged to our own name is what matters no matter how you achive it !
About suggestions for names.. hmm .. I like mythology, I would go for a character with whom I could identify, now who means what is entirely your perception.. good luck :)
Spirit
Anonymous:
Hey Mr T.,
I had to chuckle when I saw Portia's suggestion for your name because after reading your physical description and your request for names, the first thing that had popped into my head was "Thor."
Sort of the same idea, you know..... Viking - Norse - god. And Spirit said that she liked the mythological names. So, it seems that we are all on or near the same wavelength.
So, maybe this bears some futher investigation. I'm sure there are other Viking/Norse names if these suggestions don't suit you to a "T." (Sorry, I couldn't help myself there, the pun just sort of wrote itself.)
So, do you like the Viking association? It's definitely very masculine. Should we do more research? Do you have blue eyes?
Names are just so personal. So intrinsically part of who we are and how we see ourselves. Remember that we have been identifying with our name to some great extent since before we were even verbal.
I loved that quote from the little boy about how a name is safe in the mouth of someone who loves you. So true !
When I meet someone and they tell me their name and it is one that has more than one spelling, I usually ask them what the proper spelling is. Because that too is an important part of a name. And somehow, in my mind's eye, I "see" a Cyndi differently from a Cindy.
When I was a child, I always felt badly for the children whose names were mangled by the teacher on the first day of school....and for weeks afterward sometimes. It seemed as though the teacher didn't think that it was important enough. And I remember the sadness, shame, embarrassment ....I'm not even sure I knew what the emotions were. But you could see it on their faces.
When I was a teacher, I made sure I went to the Guidance Office a week before school started and asked for the proper pronunciation of all of the students names and then practiced, so they would roll off my tongue as easily as a Smith or a Jones. Name sounds and letters are IMPORTANT !!
So, Mr. T., what do you think? Shall we look further into the Viking connection? Or should we expand the search?
Gingerpeach
PS My given name is Virginia. I never identified with it as a child....too formal and of course, that was what I was always called when I was in trouble !!! My family and friends always called me Ginny.
As I have gotten older, 51 now, I have grown into Virginia and often use it, especially when meeting people professionally. If I get to know them better, then I tell them to call me Ginny. It's one of the ways that I consciously practice boundary setting.
As for Gingerpeach, well .... that's my mother's affectionate name for me. Has been for probably all 51 years. She's 78 now and still asks how her Gingerpeachy is. It's my "happy" name, my "loved" name, my "smile" name, my "safe" name.
Anonymous:
Hi ladies and gent,
I appreciate your willingness to help me out with this name thing I'm going through. I've been wanting to change it for so long. My grandfathers' names are James (Welsh descent) and Dock (German descent) so I don't think I will choose either one of them although Dock is unusual (even for his family).
I forgot to add that my last name is considered Welsh/English.
Portia - Don't be thinking any bad thoughts about me now - I know you are sassy and I don't want to turn too red when I read your postings! :wink: Thanks for your input. I like your suggestion! I don't know though if my friends and family could call me anything with "King" in it. They think i'm conceited enough. I can see everyone rolling their eyes already.
What do you guys think about "Nik" ? Any bad connotations or know any psycho Nick's?
Spirit - Thanks for your input too. You said "My name was like my 'homeland' which was invaded, so I fought from outside to regain it and hoist my own flag there." - Yeah man I've been there too. I sought to make it my own but finally realized in my "homeland" I didn't have any tourists 'cause nobody wanted to visit Inappropriateman'snameville. I know where you're coming from and will probably take that course of action but It's nice to think of alternatives.
It's funny you mentioned numbers too. Kids use to call me "13" cause in Spanish 13 is pronounced similiarly to my name.
As far as your suggestion. I think I like Hercules the best. More eyes would roll - I can hear the whispers now. The rest of the names are taken by my friends and family members for the names of their pit bulls! :roll:
Gingerpeach - You are always a sweet peach. ( I couldn't help myself either but you are so very sweet - and don't you ever change!) So, you like Thor. :wink: I can see my son calling me "Four" :lol: as we are still trying to help him with his pronounciations and enunciations. Maybe "Four" would be a good name to Spirit's dad. :roll:
My great-grandmother Virginia was named after her grandfather's mother - a Confederate Civil war colonel's daughter. My greatgrandmother was know as "Virgie" I didn't realize that Virginia could have so many pet name derivatives. It would have never occured to me that Ginger was derived from Virginia.
Well I appreciate everyone's input so far. I still haven't quit thinking about a change though and the dreaded big 40 is looming ever so closely on the horizon. (that's another story - how do you survive turning this ghastly age?)
MrT.
glennis1953:
I, too have many issues with my name. I was named by my adoptive mother, who is the narcissist in my life. She named me after a friend of hers, whom she hasn't seen in more than 55 years, and whom I've never met. I have never felt at all connected with that name. Glennis has so many horrible connotations to me now. The full name was used when she was angry. The condescending "Glenny" was used the rest of the time. The tone of voice she uses whenever she says my name to this day always sounds like I'm in trouble. I hated any pet names she tried to give me. They were also demeaning and condescending, and I wouldn't respond to them.
I spent 50 years spelling and explaining my name to people. I discovered I was adopted at 27 years old (Mother would have been happy if I never knew. Her control of me began to diminish immediately after that.) It wasn't long after my initial discovery that I learned my birthname, Donna. In fact, after I found my birthmother, I discovered I had been named after my vaudevillian grandmother.
I feel much more like Donna than I ever felt like Glennis. Sure, Glennis is more unusual. But to me, Donna is more real. I haven't legally changed it, because of the hassle. Perhaps someday I will. But I use Donna as a pen name in my writings. I can keep in better touch with my authentic self somehow that way.
October:
I started this thread a week or so ago, but I seem to have got lost, and forgotten. I seem to have turned invisible all over again.
Not doing well at present.
:oops:
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