Setting the record straight about Ami

[Leah]

Ami

She acknowledged her sin

Whereas,

You have not yet acknowledged the abusive PM's that you have been sending to Janet.

That's the difference.

Leah

[Gabben]

Ami

She acknowledged her sin

Whereas,

You have not yet acknowledged the abusive PM's that you have been sending to Janet.

That's the difference.

Leah

Leah -

You are convicting Ami in the public eye and the only evidence that you have is Janet's word. Is that fair?

Could it be that YOU are the one doing character assassinating?

Lise

[Ami]

Leah
  Janet said YESTERDAY --that she didn't  want to talk anymore. I respected her wishes.I did not violate Janet in any way that I knew of. We were friends until yesterday as far as she told me.

[JanetLG]

Izzy,

I appreciate what you're saying. However, my take on it is that, once I have started a thread, as long as I am comfortable with what I have said (and I am), then it would be false to 're-write history' and delete the thread. I don't like it when others delete threads, but that's my opinion. I stand by what I've said, and if anyone adds to my thread, I expect them to stand by what they have said, too. To not be 'voiceless' any more also means taking responsibility for the things we DO say.

I will not be locking the thread, removing it, or changing the wording.

If Dr Grossman chooses to intervene, that is out of my hands.

Janet

[Leah]

Dear Izzy,

Resolution and Restoration brings healing.

Truth is what really sets people free, as Ami openly agrees with here on board.

The truth is that Janet's Life Story has been abused.

Janet is a real person with a real life who has shared courageously of her life openly here on the board.

Acknowledgement and Accountability is essential in all walks of life.

Don't you think?

N's discount people and their life --- Non N's are different, they don't.

Respectfully,

Leah

[Ami]

Janet is upset about the generic term "friend" . I did not violate her in any way with Pm's b/c we just had this discussion yesterday. She felt violated b/c I talked about rejection from a "friend' which could have been anyone in the whole world.
  It is really so over the top that it is not funny, Janet.I am truly sorry for you. I am sorry that you are needing to do s/thing of this magnitude  to another human being

[JanetLG]

PM's to Ami yesterday included these:

"I think the world of you, and I don't want to see you hurt, as I keep on telling you, but I'm not going to go round in circles, discussing  'the next move' with you in something that I don't approve of.

I hope you understand what I mean, and why I'm saying it.

Janet"

*****

"I'm not saying I don't want to have anything to do with you.

It's just the **** thing is not something I want to have to deal with.

If you want to end our friendship, then OK - I'll always think more than just kindly of you. I think you're great, you've just got a lot to sort out.


Janet"

*****

"I'd still like to be friends, but for now, can we only talk on the forum, not by PM? That way, I can still help you, and talk things over with you, but I'd feel it was more 'open'. It's the secrecy thing that I don't like (not just with ****).

What do you think?

Janet

PS : I don't think you're 'bad', by the way, (but I think that *you* do)."

****

[BonesMS]

Being victims of Ns, especially when we were forced to live with since infancy, we may subconsciously take on some of their behaviors without realizing it.  One of the things that help me are the slogans from the 12-Step Program, (i.e. "Think, think, think").

Bones

[Ami]

Janet
 It is OVER. I didn't PM you after you made your feelings clear. That was it..It was over ,yesterday
  I purposely mentioned a generic "friend" in my posts. WHO in God's name would tie it to you?

[Gabben]

Dear Izzy,

Resolution and Restoration brings healing.

Truth is what really sets people free, as Ami openly agrees with here on board.

The truth is that Janet's Life Story has been abused.

Janet is a real person with a real life who has shared courageously of her life openly here on the board.

Acknowledgement and Accountability is essential in all walks of life.

Don't you think?

N's discount people and their life --- Non N's are different, they don't.

Respectfully,

Leah

Dear Leah,

You are the only one on this thread using the word abuse. It has been used by you and only you about 4 times now. My mom, whenever she felt threatend, or mostly her ego was threatend would start throwing that word around.  Could the use of the word abuse be out of proportion to the reality here.  Janet is hurt but it would seem to me that her pride and ego are more hurt than her feelings. So she has to take revenge on Ami and attack her pride.

Yet Ami is fighting fair and with the truth -


I mean no one is really abusing anyone...really...people fight, it is OK, we say things to each other in expression and sometimes that expression is negative such as "you hurt my feelings", sometimes we make mistakes....expression of emotion is NOT abuse, Leah.

Over stepping someones boundaries is NOT abuse, it is just careless.

Lise

[Leah]

Janet is upset about the generic term "friend" . I did not violate her in any way with Pm's b/c we just had this discussion yesterday. She felt violated b/c I talked about rejection from a "friend' which could have been anyone in the whole world.
  It is really so over the top that it is not funny, Janet.I am truly sorry for you. I am sorry that you are needing to do s/thing of this magnitude to another human being

With respect, Janet posted in her thread posting

of the blatant abusive behaviour regarding her personal life story.

[Ami]

Once Janet SAID that she did not WANT any more PM's --they stopped. HOW is that abuse?I respected her wishes once she expressed them.
  I did NOT KNOW she felt this way until yesterday when she said NOT to PM her. I said "Go in peace"
  I don't see any violation on my part toward Janet.

[Leah]

No Ami that's the problem you don't * see *

that by that stage you had already carried out the abusive behaviour

then rudely retorted and cut Janet off

after Janet asked you to stop.

That's the truth of it all.

[Ami]

Leah---Once Janet asked me to stop--I did.Janet asked me yesterday NOT to send PM's. I stopped. That was it. There was no abuse and no violation.I did not KNOW that she felt this way until yesterday when I respected her wishes. WHY would I bother s/one who didn't want me to?

[JanetLG]

Gabben,

No, I disagree. It is not my pride and ego that are hurt more than my feelings. My feelings are hurt because (a) I told Ami that her descriptions of her affair were triggering me, and she didn't stop, and (b) she mis-represented the ending of our 'friendship' on her thread, suggesting it was 'the friend' who had rejected her, when it wasn't.

Please do not try to dictate how I feel, to me. The reason Ami gave for 'feeling rejected' , as she explained it, is not the truth, as I expereinced it. She chose to withdraw, because I refused to allow her to keep on PMing me with details about her online 'affair'. She didn't like that.

It has nothing to do with whether or not anyone else would have been able to 'identify' me as the 'friend' to which she was referring in her posts. That's not the issue at all.


Janet