Author Topic: Welcomes for Newbies  (Read 2262 times)

Hopalong

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Welcomes for Newbies
« on: December 13, 2007, 02:45:51 PM »
Hello, shy lurkers, wounded wanderers, lonelyhearts and inspired explorers.

In a way I think of the board as like the beach. Look up Mudpuppy who has some great riverbank notions, too.
I think of....calm, placid surf, bright sunny days to gather and swim and relaaaaax in nature and in good company.
And then the ocean can get very dramatic and threatening. Even destructive to the isolated surfer. And, there are sharks.

In two years here, I've seen much more bright weather than hurricanes, though. Some sharks have turned out to be misunderstood porpoises. A very few were great whites. Some got harpooned by Doc G.

Welcome welcome welcome and don't fear. Remember ALWAYS that you own your voice. You are not obligated to follow anyone else's lead, respond to questions you don't want to respond to, get into subject areas that are unwelcome or traumatic, visit backchannel by PM (or respond to or receive PMs).

Please remember too that this is all typed words in cyberspace. And screen names. I have found a big thing to be true for me here:

LOVE and SERENITY come through cyberspace so very clearly, when I need support and comfort.
CHAOS and SELF-ABSORPTION come through kind of muddily. As though sediment is all stirred up.

For me the board has given many lessons in learning, day by day, that I really am in charge of my own reactivity. A radical notion for the child of a histrionic N.  And in charge of choosing what I "let in". It's okay to read or to skip voices that feel sharky. It's okay to do whatever you like. You'll sense what works, what doesn't. And the group has its own wisdom -- like an ecosystem. So maybe that's why it's such a good experience overall. It astounds me how much a person can grow based on an online experience.

If you feel voiceless or vulnerable, lean on those who offer compassion and who appear to be hearing you, reaching you where you are. Perhaps be less quick to lean on those who gush or drown you in assurances or instantly switch the subject back to themselves.

Just two cents, and there are so many wise ones here who have pockets full of gold...

Welcome, whenever you are ready.

with love,
Hopalong

"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

janisty07

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Re: Welcomes for Newbies
« Reply #1 on: December 13, 2007, 03:41:25 PM »
Thanks so much for the very warm welcome.  I am a newbie and since I have been posting here, all of the wonderful,
knowledgeable responses that I've gotten have been extremely helpful to me. 
I have a n father and a nsister.  The n sister has caused me and my mother the most heartache over these past two years.  Lately, my n father has been siding up with my n sister against my mother, his wife of 52 years, and that's been causing allot of heartache as well. 
Thanks again for all of the heartfelt, opinions and responses, they are helping very much !
Jan

Hopalong

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Re: Welcomes for Newbies
« Reply #2 on: December 13, 2007, 05:46:16 PM »
You are welcome, Janis!

xo
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

lighter

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Re: Welcomes for Newbies
« Reply #3 on: December 13, 2007, 05:58:36 PM »
Hello newcomers:

There are some very wise people on this board who've managed to figure out what's happening to them, form plans then execute them.  They've learned how to set themselves free..... are still learning.  You can learn along with.

There are people who've experienced abusive childhoods....

abusive marriages....

abusive friendships and abusive children.

Someone here will understand where you've been, without doubting you.

Everyone here will have advice and ideas about how to heal and feel better.

If you click on member stories you can read about some of the poster's experiences then decide to provide information about yourself, if you wish.

You can always erase it so don't think it's written in stone.... it;s not. 

It's probably wise to select the HIDE e mail address option on your member settings and maybe choose to NOT recieve a heads up when if you get a private mail?  You'll get a notice to your regular e mail account if you don't select otherwise.

Take a deep breath....

most everyone here has something wise to offer you. 

Welcome.... there are answers here for you.

Leah

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Re: Welcomes for Newbies
« Reply #4 on: December 13, 2007, 06:09:11 PM »
Dear Lighter,

Just have to say to you with admiration, that the listing which have clearly given of much time and consideration, in it's construction,

is aptly clear, concise and effectively informative.

Makes me wish I was a 'newbie'  :)

Love, Leah
Jun 2006 voiceless seeking

April 2008 - "The Gaslight Effect" How to Spot & Survive by Dr. Robin Stern - freedom of understanding!

The Truth About Abuse VIDEO

finding peace

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Re: Welcomes for Newbies - Hi Janis and Lollie
« Reply #5 on: December 13, 2007, 10:21:24 PM »
:::::waving:::::

Glad you found this wonderful place and look forward to getting to know you.

Peace

PS - Lolli :::::whispering, you posted much more quickly than I did, I lurked for 6 months or so - finally took the plunge - best thing I've done in a long time:::::::::
« Last Edit: December 13, 2007, 10:23:44 PM by finding peace »
- Life is a journey not a destination

lighter

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Re: Welcomes for Newbies
« Reply #6 on: December 14, 2007, 06:12:30 AM »
Welcome, Lollie.

I lurked for a long time too but.... it was like turning on a lightbulb when I could finally focus and start absorbing some of what was on the board.

Come back soon..... we're here.

Leah

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Re: Welcomes for Newbies
« Reply #7 on: December 14, 2007, 08:10:30 AM »

A warm welcome,  Lollie

Glad you are here and very much looking forward to getting to know you.

Take gentle care of you.

Love, Leah
Jun 2006 voiceless seeking

April 2008 - "The Gaslight Effect" How to Spot & Survive by Dr. Robin Stern - freedom of understanding!

The Truth About Abuse VIDEO

axa

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Re: Welcomes for Newbies
« Reply #8 on: December 14, 2007, 08:23:12 AM »
Janisty and Lollie,

Welcome I hope you find what you need here........I did.  I wish you strength and courage on your journey and of course the best thing I think I could wish for you are strong, clear boundaries and excellent Nantennae.

axa

finding peace

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Re: Welcomes for Newbies - Hi observer
« Reply #9 on: December 14, 2007, 09:29:26 PM »
::::: waving to observer :::::::
- Life is a journey not a destination

Leah

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Re: Welcomes for Newbies
« Reply #10 on: December 14, 2007, 10:44:48 PM »
::  waving to Jan ::          ::  waving to Lollie ::          ::   waving to Observer  ::        never done this before - this is fun  :)

Jun 2006 voiceless seeking

April 2008 - "The Gaslight Effect" How to Spot & Survive by Dr. Robin Stern - freedom of understanding!

The Truth About Abuse VIDEO

finding peace

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Re: Welcomes for Newbies - HiWillingToMoveOn
« Reply #11 on: December 18, 2007, 08:32:40 PM »
Hi WillingToMoveOn,

I saw your post over on Bean's story, and thought I would say hello and welcome!

Look forward to hearing more from you.

Peace
- Life is a journey not a destination

Leah

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Re: Welcomes for Newbies
« Reply #12 on: December 19, 2007, 11:36:46 AM »
Warm welcome to you, WillingToMoveOn,

Looking forward to getting to know you.

Warm wishes,

Leah
Jun 2006 voiceless seeking

April 2008 - "The Gaslight Effect" How to Spot & Survive by Dr. Robin Stern - freedom of understanding!

The Truth About Abuse VIDEO