The Power of Love

[Ami]

I have been having "insights" just hit me, out of the blue. I have been doing "focus" exercises.You learn to shift your focus from narrow( reading, computer, studying) to broad(surveying the "whole" picture.) It is very simple,but I am seeing the world differently.
 Last night,it hit me that life could be "simple" if we lived it with "love". It sounds so trite,but most deep insights sound trite . I saw that my problems WITHIN myself were lack of love(for myself) and problems outside myself were the same.
 I cannot always follow the rule of love b/c I am human. However,it has to be my beacon from which I TRY  to navigate life.
 I think that if you can GIVE  love, you will not be lonely. It is wonderful to see s/one's eyes light up when you compliment them. It is wonderful to give a gift to s/one----emotional OR physical gift. It is a great gift to the "giver.". It is one of the antidotes for the tremendous pain in life,I think.                Ami

[seasons]

Hi Ami,

It is wonderful to see s/one's eyes light up when you compliment them. It is wonderful to give a gift to s/one----emotional OR physical gift. It is a great gift to the "giver.". It is one of the antidotes for the tremendous pain in life,I think.                Ami

Yes, I agree!

What a coincidence I read this today. Yesterday I wrote a thank you letter to a teacher/religion adviser at my daughters school. I have been so touched by this teacher, for a whole year I wanted to write a note of how much I appreciate all they give of themselves.

Always felt it would never sound good enough. Well I did it yesterday and off to school it went. It felt good to compliment the hard work and human kindness.
I hope the teacher is left feeling appreciated, as I was left feeling very happy in my heart. (((seasons)))

[Ami]

Thanks Seasons,
  I thought that this thread would die a 'natural death"(lol). I never realized how powerful love is--giving and recieving it. I bet that it has the power to heal all sorts of emotional and physical problems.
  I am just delving it to the whole subject of "love' and trying to understand it more--from God's love to human love. My GM gave me any sense of self I had with her love. All these years later,I retain the love that she gave me. I never knew that what would sustain me through many painful times was  her tenderness  and warmth  toward me.
  It makes me think about the direction of my own life--with respect to the love in it.    Thanks for responding, dear friend     Ami

[seasons]

((Ami))

All these years later,I retain the love that she gave me. I never knew that what would sustain me through many painful times was  her tenderness  and warmth  toward me.

I understand, what more lovely than a gift of love that is forever given. It's amazing what we can lean on for strength and hope, as in your beautiful example.

much love seasons

[Ami]

Besee
 You are so sweet. I return the thanks for all that you have given me too, dear friend.                Love  Ami

(((((((((((Besee)))))))))))))))))

[Bella_French]

It weird, I think I live my life striving to strike balance between two sets of rule books, both of which I feel are extremely important. One rule book is the `principles of love', which is heavily influenced by the bible, but not limited to Jesus's teaching. I have also found incredible insight and  wisdom in old Tibetan Buddist texts, and other love-based philosphies/theologies.

The other`book' is the `principles of responsible self empowerment' (thats not a real book BTW, lol). I started out only living by the principles of love, and was hurt very badly , many times, because I hadn't yet read the other book, lol. The reason we need both, is that we need to love, but we also need to be strong and to survive, in order to truly love.

I think my pendulum is a little too far in one direction right now, because i am trying to learn to be self empowered. I am playing catch up, because I never knew how to protect myself before, and my life went off the rails because of it. So I'm a bit too far in that direction. My ideal would be more middle road, if that makes sense.


X bella

[Hopalong]

Makes a great deal of sense to me, Bella.

I think when we've been Boundaries Down for a very long time, and finally learn what it means to have Boundaries Up, it takes another good while to get to Boundaries Flexible.

IMO, it's wonderful that your intention is clear to protect yourself but also you wish to love, and you're allowing yourself to be where you are.

Hops

[Bella_French]

Thanks Hops, though i don't think I'm `allowing' myself to be here; I think I'm just `here', and I'm noticing it, lol.  I actually wish I could feel a bit more trust than I do, because I'd be a bit more social and I'm highly social by nature. I miss that. But at least I'm safer,; I do like this feeling (its new!!)

Love to you!

X bella

[Ami]

Dear Bella,
  Having your own power(which I think you are talking about) IS part of being able to love(IMO) and have it be a "healthy" love. The old saying that you have to love yourself ,first,is what we are saying,I think.. I see my Aunt. She loves and honors herself. She does not have excessive guilt and shame. She can laugh at herself. It was kind of a shock( all these "normal" things) when I first started talking with her. She was laughing about her fear of dogs .A big English bulldog had jumped on her lap.
 My M could never admit to a fear. She would let the dog kill you first(LOL)and it almost happened--bleh.
 An N cannot be "real"(make mistakes, be vulnerable)
  I guess that they do not love themselves enough to be able to "blow off" another person's dissaproval. It is really sad.
Yes, Bella,I think that we NEED to love ourselves as the first ingredient in the 'pot" that is a healthy relationship. We have to have our own power. No one else---no matter who they are or how close--- can have it for us---or the relationship will lose it's balance and health. What a long way(and painful), I have come to learn this simple life lesson. I guess that most of us (on the board) have lost ourselves and our own power. We lost the "steering wheel"on the boat and we were cast adrift. The board helps us get it back. Thank Goodness for Dr G.                      Love   Ami

[Certain Hope]

Dear Bella,

I am finding that the boundaries grow more flexible, as Hops said, only through exercise... just like muscles.
And I think it's alot like patience... can't grow without being tested, you know?
You sound wonderful, to me, and I really like this:

`principles of responsible self empowerment'

First - that this is a set of principles which I believe can include the "do no harm" principle of love and
second - that word responsible = so key, lest we run around obstinately showing everyone our "you're not the bossa me" face... lol.

((((((((((((Bella)))))))))))))

Love to you and Merry Christmas,
Carolyn

[Leah]

Principles of Responsible Self Empowerment

Dear Bella,

I like that, also, with regard to the Tibetan writings, I like so many of their wise healthy quotations for living, and also, I love the book of Proverbs.

Personally, for me, Self Empowerment comes with Personal Responsibility and Accountability ....

.... someone once wrote "If you would not like it done unto you, then why, do it unto another?"   I truly like and respect that, and my hope is, by my choice, to truly live that way, in my life.

Love, Leah