Dear Kelly,
Since you started talking about changes that you want to make in the New Year,I will add a few. I want to get out more. I need a bull dozer to drag me out(lol)
When the bull dozer comes ,I go out. If not, I stay in--bleh.
As I was telling GS,I need to have my "home"(myself) with me so that I can go more confidently in to the world. Last night,I went to a party. I could see that we all, as humans. struggle in the same ways. I went "down" more b/c of an N mother and b/c I stopped 'trying", at some point.I gave up b/c I could not get out of the "numb" zone. All my activities were 'grey" so it wan't worth trying,anymore. I was 'underwater" as my M was.
Now, I have hope. I can see myself getting "normal". I can see it out over the horizen. I am not there,yet. I don't even know all the steps ,yet. They will open up one by one, I think.
God can provide amazing unexpected blessings.. After all I have been through,it was worth it to know Him. He will rehabilitate me ,if I do the steps,"on the ground". Happy Holidays,Kelly. Thanks for ALL you have given me and it was considerable(lol)
Ami
((((((((((Kelly)))))))))))