Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
meaning in YOUR life
BlueTopaz:
Re. what gives my life meaning...
I hope it dosen't sound too corny -lol- but spotting the energy of love. There is so much destruction, negative, and evil energy in the world. Where I see kind, loving acts, the face of a baby, animals, nature.... I feel a sense of peace and meaningfulness.
On a more intricate note, I feel that my life's meaning has been pre-orchestrated as the healing of soul deep wounds, inner growth, conscious evolution...
It is said that these qualities are often grown out of adversity. According to the saying I'm sure I'm on the right track right now! :?
These are trying times where sometimes I can see, and even accept the lesson, and where other times I'm just swept up in overwhelm and despair.
But what gives my life meaning, is when I am able to see, stay focused on the lessons, and make major self and life improvements as a result.
Anonymous:
Hiya Lynn,
Good to hear from you. I play around with this question from time to time. Recently, I've decided I don't have to have a purpose. Just living is enough, just like the other creatures of the earth. "Good" or "bad" the universe is unfolding as it should.
Maybe that's begging the question "why am I here"?. I used to hate bad stuff happening, but now i realize that if I learn the lesson behind it vs. just being unhappy, I feel I've grown.
Wow, how wise, huh? I don't always feel that way. Sometimes I have to do some ironing or something and I feel a whole lot more sense of accomplishment! :D
Thanks. I enjoyed reading the other contributions! I like the idea of looking for love and life in the world around us. Seeker
Anonymous:
I gleaned from everyone's personal "meaning of life". HOw thought-provoking. I am a mother of 2 small boys and I love them very much. (I would also support and love mY Sister if she didn't) As a stay-at-home-Mom who used to be a Ford Motor Co climb the corporate ladder..blah blah blah; the meaning of life for me has come to mean be passionate about "my daily bread"..Like reading devotijnals with my boys, making them pancakes, and taking a nap while they are napping. Having a movie night in my bed with popcorn!! Enjoying the simplicity and beauty that life has to offer all of us. And being present in these moments as much as we can.
It's also about walkign through the pain.working through our baggage and ,for me, thinking about my hihger purpose on this planet. How can I give back to people, my community, other women in abusive realtionsips. How can I help theM!! I think all of us on this site are really great MENSCHES!!!
lynn as guest:
Wow. You give me inspiration.
Usually, I cope pretty well with life. I am able to feel meaningful in my day. But recently, I hit a low that was engulfed with lack of meaning.
I used to find meaning in my children... in conversations and popcorn and reading books.... It is truley a wonderful, marvelous time of life. My children are older teens now and their need for me is greatly diminished. My role is more to give them support when needed, and to stand back and let them find their way. I gave them wings and now they are learning to fly.
When I was married, so much of my time and energy was involved with supporting the emotional welfare of my husband. Every single day, I did things to make sure he would be okay.... crazy I know, but it kept our family running smoothly. He would be calmer. The kids would be happier. I thought it was an okay trade off.
Now I recognize that the kids saw our world as "fake" A false family. Pretty on the outside and wormy on the inside. It absolutely breaks my heart when my daughter tells me this... even when there are elements of truth to her words... because my love and my commitment were genuine. My love came from my heart. Yet, she is accutely aware of the falsness that came when her dad was home.... the feeling of being on her best behavior... or worse yet, of me being on my best behavior.
So these roles which used to give me structure and meaning are gone. And I must find new ways to have a purpose. My thoughts, however, stray to such negative thougths. Such unanswerable questions.
That's why I wrote this question. To find out what makes your day worthwhile. I have listened to your ideas and will try my best to remember them when I sink low again.
This starting over is an incredible task. At this moment, I don't feel the joy of freedom and the opportunity for growth.... maybe I will in time... but right now, everything appears worthless. I struggle to imagine things feeling better. Each day I put one foot in front of another and plod through the day.
I have grave fears that I will always feel terrible. My xH has said repeatedly that I will be miserable. that I will fail. And I know that his words lack credibility, but I hear them in my heart. And I question my abliity. And I cannot find a reason to look toward the future.
Every day is not this gloomy. But when the feeling washes over me, it is huge and intense and difficult to shake.
Love you all for your vision and purpose,
Searching,
lynn
Portia:
--- Quote ---Now I recognize that the kids saw our world as "fake" A false family. Pretty on the outside and wormy on the inside. It absolutely breaks my heart when my daughter tells me this... even when there are elements of truth to her words... because my love and my commitment were genuine. My love came from my heart. Yet, she is accutely aware of the falsness that came when her dad was home.... the feeling of being on her best behavior... or worse yet, of me being on my best behavior.
--- End quote ---
Lynn. The fact that your daughter is able to say these things to you is a HUGE SUCCESS, something to be celebrated. You are not a fake person! Or your daughter wouldn’t be able to say these things and you wouldn’t be able to listen. You’re a real person, that’s so precious, so so precious. Rejoice in it. Cry about it. Because being real means you can feel both pain and joy. My goodness, how lucky you are, and how good a mother you must be despite the N, to have a daughter say these things. And what a gift she gives you. Have you said ‘sorry’ and ‘thank you’ to her? You can if you wish.
--- Quote ---So these roles which used to give me structure and meaning are gone. And I must find new ways to have a purpose.
--- End quote ---
And the structure and meaning were false anyway? It’s okay to feel regret, remorse, wasted time, even beat ourselves up a bit….before we can get on with life. You can’t rush it. This time too will change. (((((((((Lynn))))))))) P
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